Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Friday, May 27, 2016

Teenzilla's Final School Moments

Just as Teenzilla arose with a fiery thug...I cowered in the corner. I did not know what to expect. Each day is different.

BUG: Mom, how does this look?

ME: It is a very pretty outfit. You look very nice.

BUG: Well, I need your opinion. I think I should wear a brown cardigan with it. What do you think?

ME: No. I don't think it would look right. It looks nice just the way it is and you would be too hot. Besides brown would not go.

BUG: (miffed) Fine. What about a white shirt on top of this one?

ME: No, honey. I don't think so. It is just right the way it is.


And so I don't know why Teenzilla would ask for my opinion and then explode when she didn't like the answer. Oh wait. It's the teenager thing. Sigh.

I left for work heavy-hearted because I don't like to leave things like that in the morning, but it has become quite regular.

So I was hated until she came home from school, crying. I received a frantic call in the middle of my workout and I had to rush home to see what was wrong. She jumped up off the couch when I strolled in all sweaty and gross and almost knocked me over with a bear hug. The tears were flowing.

Apparently, some kid at school had started a rumor about her having an oral sex moment with another boy. Little buttheads. She just sobbed and said she prides herself on being a virgin and a nice girl. It ruined her reputation, she declared.

"Mommy, I am not a slut!"

"Yes, honey, I know that."

Oh, we are so wise and old and having gone through such ugly rumors, and survived them all. I know no words I said made it better.

So it was Cheetos.

Cheetos make everything better. And ice cream. But we didn't have any.

I thought about offering some wine and chocolate, but then that would be some bad parenting. So I had it.

Cheetos. Comfort food for Teenzillas. Remember that.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

How Quaint!?!...

I suppose I spoke too soon about election news being monotonous and boring. Last night protesters at the Trump rally got physical, coming after police. But what happened was good human spirit when citizens formed a wall around the police and told the protesters if they wanted the police, they would have to get them (the citizens) first. It warmed my heart.

At the same time, these people who violently protest piss me the hell off. They are the same ones who time and time again protest everything with violence and are mostly liberals. What happened to the hippies? I tell ya, the world is going to hell.

I want to go water skiing so bad. Like right now. How was that for random? Yep. Well, it's true. I feel the need for some water speed.

Obi (new personal trainer-I am a guinea pig..er...phys. science experiment) told me last night I was "quite thin" and 30-40 pounds would be too skinny and that was a no go. He is such a nice blind man. Weirdo. I know what I am and where I need to be. Just because clothes hide the chubby tubby doesn't mean it isn't there to lose. Weight lifting again. Whee!~

Today I am sore and we haven't even started a real session yet. Yikes. I told him I was not going to whine and complain. He said to bring a towel because he was going to make me cry. This free stuff better be just as good as the paid for. I am excited. I want to bench 80% of my weight. That's a house in case you were wondering.

Anyhoozle, it will probably reduce my need for physical therapy and traction on my neck. I hope that will be an added benefit.

And since I am now fighting Wyoming worker's comp on my lungs (meth lab contamination when I was a cop) again...damn that crap....I have to make asthma less of a bitch by being fit and eating certain foods now. I am not happy. That is a long story. I am sure I will have to get a lawyer..AGAIN. They have a job to do, I understand. BUT...they are unfair and have terrible practices including damaging us honest folks. It's a racket. Really. Like the Mafia. Only worse.

Sometimes you can work with people in a professional manner and other times you have to go fucking bat shit crazy and flip out on a bitch to get somewhere. I'm not sure what is going to happen in this case. I do know...they own my lungs and they need to pay for it. I found out, of course, getting my prescriptions renewed and they cancelled my script card. I have never abused it nor not needed it. Fuckers.

I don't know how people can get their words out without swearing. Sometimes you just need to say Fuck Me In The Ass. Bless those who can be eloquent with real words.

Bug seemed to come around yesterday and be human for a few hours. I am sure this was due to the fact I made her homemade french fries which are some of her favorites. Hmm.. now what about tonight? I will have to drum up something good. I bet it might start with the letters ICE CREAM.

Words are so powerful, aren't they?

I am such a quaintrelle. Yes.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Tabloid News

What I Am Smelling...

I am working today with turned up nose. I keep smelling this tuna thing someone fixed. For breakfast? Yuck. You know I can't do tuna! It brings back flashbacks of a dead body I once responded to where the chick died naked with a can of tuna in her vagina with the fork sticking out. Don't ask. Ok. Changing the subject.

What I Wrote...

My recent article from my serious side is not so serious. In fact, I thought some humor was needed, but maybe I went to far. It isn't striking any chords on Twitter or Facebook. Hmm...

Tell me what you think. Click here.  Is it too much?

What I Am Relieved About...

National news has announced the acquittal of Officer Nero in the Freddie Gray case. I am interested to see what happens with all involved, including the status of the mayor. A leading Black Lives Matter activist has filed to run for election. They were prepared for riots, but it seems just some angry protests occurred.

What I Like To Watch...

The Blacklist is one of my favorite shows and NBC has announced a spin off. I am not a fan off spin in any direction. Usually they flop. I guess I will wait and see. It's worth a look-see.

Not A Fan...

I am not a fan of dehydration. I am drinking a gallon a day and last night I cramped up so bad that it created a disability in my left calf and I couldn't do my second run. Blah. Owie. It was one of those type of cramps that lasted for a long time, formed sweat beads, and continued to bother me for quite some time. I hobbled around the house for hours.

I am not a fan of old age metabolism. It is REALLY difficult to shape my body into a hammer and chisel figure. Gah. I have enlisted the help of a man to get me that direction. Luckily, it is free and I am a guinea pig. Sessions start next week. Maybe I will post pics.

National Spotlight Fades...

I think the election stuff has waned this week, Holy buckets of disbelief! There is nothing really super dooper interesting about it right now. The biggest headline is Hillary dissing Fox News and declining the invite to a final debate. Whoop de doo. I wouldn't do it either if I am just going to be the declared winner in a few weeks anyway. Waste of time.

What I Am Frustrated About...

The Bug and I are not having a good time of it. She has attitude. I don't like attitudes. Clash of the Titans. Last night she said she didn't want to live with me because I am too strict, mean, and treat her like crap. Wow. That was an explosion. What triggered this? I told her she was grounded because in the last three days she failed to do her chores and sat around. What are the chores? Potty the dogs and fold a load of laundry. I didn't think it was too much to ask or order as it is not a question in my house. In this time she let the dogs piss and shit in the living room and I had a hell of a time shampooing carpets and trying to make the house smell good. So, I gave her the go ahead to live with her dad. We will see what comes of summer. I texted her dad this morning to say it was OK with me. I have given up trying to be supermom and just stick with super momster. 

What I Am Doing Today...

Today I am working. After that I am going to lose myself in running, doing some CrossFit, housework, mowing the lawn before the 10 Day Monsoon we are getting, and running again. In between that I will be walking the dogs and playing with the fellers.

What I Wish For You...

Difficult roads bring us to beautiful destinations. I wish for you to find joy.