Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Monday, January 9, 2017

Did You Say Ham Sammich?

Here is a little throwback for you. I couldn't resist. Humor. Otis. Humor. Snark. Otis. 

Last night, I got to work a little early. Wanted to touch base with one of my friends who is currently on day shift. She was sitting at a computer and I walked up behind her...stopped in my tracks to see...a King Size Peanut M & M wrapper (empty) and a Mountain Dew bottle (empty). I told her she had better be logging those into evidence for some case. She laughed. Then she told me this story that happened earlier...

Apparently one of our very good friends who is a big boy from Oklahoma and ex-cop had to make a police report on a damaged vehicle. I will call him Okie. He is huge and he giggles like a girl. So he fits right in with the girlfriends.

My friend starts to take down the information while talking to Okie...only for some odd reason his big lab (dog, not a large science playground)  is circling her and nudging her holster...over and over again. She pushes him away and he comes back, almost knocking her down trying to get her gun. Finally she kicks the dog.

HER: What the fuck is wrong with your dog, Okie?

Okie: Uh...[points to her gun] maybe he wants that nice, juicy pickle stuck in your gun holster that resembles left over lunch, sister.[giggles]

HER: Oh for shit's sake! [laughs until she is red in the face and embarrassed] I can't even get away with sneaking shit off my diet. [giggles] At least it was you and not some other person.

Okie: [giggles] What's that supposed to mean?

HER: [takes the pickle and throws it in the back of his truck] Because you are one of us, nutsack.

Okie: I'm not a cop anymore, goofy. [giggles]

HER: No... a girlfriend.

So the way she told it was so funny that I had tears in my eyes. Then I had to be serious. She asked me if I hated her for cheating. I said, no, but she had to go tell everyone  in the briefing room her stories.

So she did. And everyone laughed...and then The English spoke...

The English: Oh, hey, that reminds me of this one time when Fargo and I were at this working dog class and she had Otis...and they told everyone to make sure they had their dogs' rewards, toys, or whatever in their packs before we hiked out on this mock search. So when I was teamed up with Fargo, she said she was set and we left. So, Otis did really, really good and found the guy. I was waiting for her to take out Otis's toy and give him a reward. And you know what Otis's reward was? A frickin' huge ham sammich. It was like the biggest Dagwood sammich I have ever seen. And he ate it...all... while wagging his tail and about peeing himself without chewing.

Otis and Moose (1) at the River War Haus

HER: Aw...a guy after my own heart.

ME: What can I say...Otis hates toys...he likes food. We are two of a kind. [giggles]

In other news...Otis has recovered and the vet said he is fine. However, he is physically not the same and I am sadly, going to have to retire him. I had been gearing up for that anyway, but he was still being called on little kid emergencies since he was such a good dog. He will be spoiled until his last days.

Rest in Peace, Otis. 

Friday, January 6, 2017

Shake Ups! Shake Ups Everywhere!

It's Friday! Oh, so you didn't notice? Are you retired? On vacation? Well...due to the cold weather outside, I think the following is in order: 

Greta Van Susteren announced a big move to MSNBC.  I always liked her. Could NBC being moving back toward reporting both sides? Nah. It couldn't be that they would embrace democracy!?! This will be worth watching and seeing...

Poor Greta...many are so mean to her. They focus on her looks and not her brains. Typical. LOL. Ok. So I had to join in with this meme. Why? Am I a shallow person. Well, yes, but that's not the point. The point is...this meme is damn funny. 

Who's next? Any more abandoning the apple cart?

Are there any women left on Fox? Tucker Carlson replaced Megyn Kelly. I don't picture him being as punchy nor any eye candy to look at. But he is so nice. I guess this will be another one to watch. 

Shake ups! Shake ups everywhere! 

Meanwhile...I'm still here, still the same. Here is my latest on my serious side...read about the behind the scenes stuff...HERE. Please go check it out. They also have a Facebook page for comments. Leave some love. 

So..back to our intel issues stateside..

Is Trump really publicly outing the CIA, NSA, etc. and sharing his disbelief in the information? Is he a conspiracy theorist? I will be honest...I know how government works and I would believe the majority of information...but I also know the CIA and NSA are very secretive organizations and I think some things are left out. On this note...it is not wise to publicly shame your own national security in front of God and all the world.

Let Hollywood do that. 

Keep it mysterious. The enemies need to be jumpy. Do I think the leaks swayed the election? No. Hillary just sucked and didn't capture all her voters like she thought...or they all thought she was going to win and so they were too lazy to go cast their vote. But if it makes her feel better to blame it on hacking...so be it. 

But was the information leaked false? No one seems to deny that part. Hmm...that's what is interesting. 

Now I am not a fan of Biden, but he does crack me up sometimes. Here is the latest from a CNN report today...

"Grow up, Donald. Grow up. Time to be an adult," he said. "You're president. You've got to do something. Show us what you have. You're going to propose legislation. We're going to get to debate it. Let the public decide. Let them vote in Congress. Let's see what happens."
He continued, "It's going to be much clearer what he's for and against, and what we're for and against, now that it's going to get down to actually discussing in detail these issues that affect people's lives."
Biden also said it's "dangerous" for the President-elect to be skeptical of US intelligence agencies.
"I think it's dangerous," he said in the interview. "For a President not to have confidence in, not to be prepared to listen to the myriad of intelligence agencies from defense intelligence, to the CIA, et cetera, is absolutely mindless. It's just mindless."
There you go.
Don't worry. Omarosa is joining the White House. We will all be safe. Fuck me in the ass. 
Popcorn! Peanuts!
What are you doing this weekend? 
Me. A little personal life and I'm working on the Harry Potter House. Much needed repairs to be had. That...and it's too damn cold to go outside and work out there. Too bad we don't have enough snow for me to snowshoe. Poo. 

Wednesday, January 4, 2017


The Fargo train derailed over the holidays. So sorry for the long absence. I am sure you were not missing me too much with all the festivities at your home.

2017 peace to you, Boogie Man Lovahs!

Welcome to 2017! It promises to be a new year filled with surprises and happiness. Be positive! Today, so far...ZERO officers killed in the line of duty. Hold your breath. Well, don't do that. It isn't healthy. Let's just pray for all of law enforcement to be safe.

I decided to let Facebook decide what I should be...if I were an actress. What do you think? Good fit? No? Yes?

Moving on to more exciting things which I am sure you all already know. But...do you know everything about everything?  Eh. It's all old stuff. But...recapping for your pleasure...here I am!

In the news...Megyn Kelly leaves Fox.


No one is grieving? Hmm. I am not sad. I haven't watched her anymore. I used to really like her hard line questioning and then she became too dramatic and over the top. Now that she is going to the liberal side, she won't have to pretend to be conservative anymore.

She isn't the worst of the worst, I guess.

She used to look pretty hot in the magazines...

Ooh la la.

Well, she did Photoshop her head on my body. I didn't get paid much for it, but I was desperate at the time. Really it was a low moment in my life where money talks took over common sense and negotiation for fair pay.

The up side is no one can use it against me when I become famous and have to act all proper. The worst they can find is my books with the word, "fuck" in it a lot.

And inquire to as why "Fuck Me In The Ass" is my favorite saying.

I think I can take the heat.

Lord help us...Omarosa is set to join the WH. WTF, Mr. President-Elect? Well, I guess she is a good bulldog to have around when you need that kind of attitude. Next thing you know, she will be joined by Kanye.  Maybe she and Megyn Kelly could have a cat fight on television. Now I would pay to watch that and bring popcorn.

Sadly, local news proves to be fatal. One of the bartenders and hostesses at a restaurant here was run over while crossing the street to go home from work. It is a now a Hit and Run homicide. She had sent her boss a selfie at the hospital saying she would be back to work in no time and shortly passed thereafter. She will be missed. She was a great lady and I enjoyed her kindness and jolly attitude.

Rest in peace, Janice.

Nothing going on except some repairs at the Harry Potter House. My carpet is toast and underneath it is OSB. Shoot me now. I am not sure what I am going to be able to do with that. But...the carpet is really bad. Ripped and holes. So cheap. What is cheap? The carpet. I'm cheap, too, when it comes to what to fix it with that looks good. I might look for some closeout laminate. I was hoping the original hardwoods were underneath, but they have been removed. So sad.

Bug has been cleaning and doing all kinds of work while on Christmas break. Today she got up early for school and was ready an hour before the bus arrives. Weird kid. Gotta love her.

Have a prosperous start to our exciting new year!