Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Being Obama: Executive Orders from the Country of Fargo

You are in control. Of everything you can control. You are not in control of things you can't control. Yep. Not very profound today, am I?

Sometimes it takes an act of getting back in the game to feel the game. I know it may not make sense, but let me clarify. Jujitsu. Even though my Bug continually tries to get one up on her mother and go "full on ninja" as we say...I am loving the class. We went hit for hit paired up with different partners and the instructors told me I was a sadistic bitch. Yep. That pretty much sums it up. I love to fight.

Photo credit: likes.com

Hit me more, but be ready for paybacks. My new partner and I got to laughing so hard with one of the instructors that we couldn't even work on techniques. It was a Fargo timeout. We talked about police work and I was invited to come observe and participate in the competitive classes.

We will have to see.

It sounds like jolly good fun. However, I have that neck issue. I really don't like being defined by an injury because I have been very grateful for a mostly healthy life. I expressed myself whichever way I wanted to and this put a nix on my boxing class and sparring. I'm pretty sure unless they let you do it in traction.

My hot doc is not so sure about even a little sparring..like the half way stuff, not full on sparring... and not too keen on my enthusiasm. I told him I would drop the boxing idea if he would up the jujitsu. I don't think you can bargain with doctors. He was not amused. Funny guy.

Maybe I can pull an executive order like Obama:

Photo credit: Gary McCoy
Well, I could because I am the boss of myself. Isn't it funny how people influence our thoughts, like doctors? LOL.

In the wake of world news and lack of action toward ISIS, I found some good cartoon funnies of the political arena. If you don't follow me on Faceplant, I thought I would pin them here so you could get a chuckle if you like them and if you don't you can have a snarl or a frownie face:
Photo credit: Pinterest

Better yet, if you remember my post about the strap on for guns (yes penis like), you will find a video on The Boogie Man featuring German cops making fun of the device most humorous. It's on Instagram from Rob Pincus, so you will have to watch it on Facebook. It's precious. Watch for the dolls in the background. It was brought to my attention compliments of GunDiva. Really worth the look see. I peed my pants. 

Does it feel like the Ferguson and Garner issue are on the back burner now with Hillary and ISIS taking up front line news? It's not so. Those issues still continue to brew. Silence makes me worry more and not less. It's like a puppy or a teenager. Quiet is bad. 

In other non-related news, I was chatting with a much older friend and I have to laugh about what we discussed about dating in later life (NO NOT ME-HER). Here's what we giggled about:

Things people share to get to know each other at our age or older:

1) How many meds are you on? What kind? What for?
2) Do your parts still work?
3) Send me your medical history and financials.
4) Is this picture of you from 1989 or yesterday?
5) Tell me about your family life and household drama.
6) Do you wear pants with zippers or elastic?
7) Can you still drive?
8) Do you have hair?

Photo credit: Pinterest

I told her I would have to add a couple more things in my questionnaires like: 

1) How many guns do you have?
2) Do you like to fish and hunt?
3) Do you have dogs or cats? If a man has cats, I have to worry. Barn cats? Crazy cat man? No, just kidding. How many? Too many can be a depression or hoarding issue.
4) Do you like to travel?
5) Are you Republican or Democrat?

Photo credit: Pinterest

In all seriousness, dating is scary and I feel like my life right now with my kiddo and my dogs is the place for me until later. If God hits me on the head with a prize, then so be it. Otherwise, I am just here. 

I will admit I have had fat days and skinny days. Right now, I am not happy with my health and I am working whole hog on it. The best thing is the neck feeling better and now I have a new energy about life. It really drug me down. Funny how that works. The mind is a powerful thing. I started marathon training again. Last night I had a setback and had to take a Flexeril for the first time in many days but this morning I feel great and all the tension is gone. 

Yes, it is like that.  I feel like a geriatric patient. On another note, on the blindness thing, we are still testing and testing and testing. It is not diabetes. One disease ruled out...a bazillion to go. 

Just remember...if you are single no one cares about what you look like or what you do. You can go to the range. You can go full hog on a bucket of ice cream. You can race in running events without working around someone's schedule. You make your own schedule or not, it's all up to you. PJ's are acceptable on weekends. You can go to the range. Dogs are good for snuggling. Batteries are cheap enough. You can go to the range any time you want without permission. You can shoot up all the ammo which is about to be banned or hoard it so you can sell it at a high price. It's like being Obama. Or something.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The Country of Jesus

Last night I came home from a very long hard grueling day. No commas in there. Run it together and get tired so you know how I felt.

As I entered the house, I was bombarded by a herd of dogs and one teenager.

"Mom, let's practice jujitsu!"


"Ok. Let me change my clothes."

A few minutes later the kid and I were practicing our ninja skills. She was mostly practicing and I was forced to be the ninja bad guy. For those of you who don't know, the ninja bad guy gets beat up all the time and punished by the seemingly victim student.

Yeah. It was a gas.

"Mom, isn't this great? I am getting faster."

"You need to go half the force, Missy. Otherwise I am going to go hit for hit."

[giggles from the princess]

Photo credit: Pinterest

"Mom, I didn't want to hurt you before, but now that your neck feels better I am going full on ninja."

"Yeah. And if you do that, your mom is going to end up at square one. I am not released for full on ninja yet. When it happens, you will get papers. Besides, Eric told you not to do that and if he taught you these skills, you needed to be careful and wise."

"Yeah, Mom. He told me not to use them at school. He said nothing about using them at home or on my mom."

"Eric and I are going to have a coming to Jesus meeting."

"Mom, you can't mix ninja and Jesus. They are from two different countries."


Monday, February 23, 2015

Oscar The Grouch

A night of the Oscars. As a kid and young adult, I used to enjoy watching them. The glamour and the great films would leave me awestruck. Believe it or not, I was really into fashion watching in college and enjoyed in anticipation of the new fashions striking the red carpet and Hollywood gossip which accompanied it. I got over it.

Now, the Oscars and other awards shows strike me as a joke. Even though I will hail the many great actors and actresses, musicians, and the like- they have lost their class. The acceptance speeches are rants or an opportunity to make a political statement which takes away from honoring the motion picture industry. If this is truly the free platform Hollywood wishes to embrace, they could go buy themselves a cause. I will not partake in the shenanigans. Thank you, God, you put The Walking Dead and Downton Abbey right smack at the same prime time.

Boo hiss to the platformers, which is my new coin phrase going out to the Hollywood actors and actresses who want to use family time and awards for their agenda. Hooray for The Walking Dead. What plot twist can we have now? Will Judith grow up?

My morning madness started with dogs and toy carnage, hot coffee, and news. It was all wonderful except the death of yet another duct taped dog toy and the news. The news I find is less informative a the days go on. Is it all sensational spin and propaganda garbage? I'm beginning to enjoy the b.s. segments of food ideas for families.

And what about ISIS claiming to target Mall Of America? Pshaw. DO NOT MESS WITH SHOPPING WOMEN! Gah. Do they announce it, to set up a decoy? Warn the masses to effect commerce? Whatever. I am disgusted we have not come down on them with wrath. That is all. Truly disappointed, I am. I especially like the theory of giving them jobs to cure their violence. Wow. Brilliance in the making that one idea is.

Photo Credit: Facebook Friend JL
In non-terrorist news...Bug and I have vows for Lent...I am going to work on my f bombs and being a better mother with more loves and she vowed to be nice to me and do her chores without whining and to cool the tantrums. You see where this is headed. If you do it for 40 days, it becomes habit, right? The first day...I muttered under my breath.."eff that"...when I was watching a news piece of our lack of action on terrorism. I didn't think it counted because I didn't actually use the words. Bug said I needed to find a better substitute like "popcorn" or "nuts" or "rats." Bug said, "Mom, you have already ruined 'Lint' in one day."

Photo credit: the containerstore.com

Needless to say, part of being a good mother is to teach better church practices pertaining to an important sacrifice and lead by example. We need some Lent lessons. I also need to lint roll my pants. 

Physical therapy showed great strides in my neck mobility. I actually feel like a new human being. My therapist was quite pleased with the progress. After therapy is all over, I have been instructed to continue deep tissue massages and my at home exercises along with weight lifting and strength training. I start the sessions of proper lifting and strength training on Wednesday. I'm kind of excited about this. I must prepare to wear the proper pants for bending and no heels.