Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Friday, November 21, 2014

The Judging Queen

It's time for some fun!

I am starting a new special random spot called, "The Judging Queen." (Sing it along with us..ABBA is in the room.) That's right! You can't get it out of your head. Mwahahahaha!

I am going to be a little snark magical. That is common sense mixed with snarky...Poof! Magical.

Things will come up in our lives in random fashion that spark our passion. This is not sexual, so carry on at home and click off.

Some random opportunities might present themselves here. Or not. I am often moody. It depends upon my mood.  Today I am in a mood.

I am going to clobber topics with my slimy, shady voice of somewhat reasonable standards.

That's right...my opinion.

If you disagree...say so. If you agree...say so.

If you are going to remain Switzerland...then act like chocolate.

                                                 Photo credit: Modification and embellishment of a photo from Pinterest.

First order of business: What is it about people never learning to respect personal space? I am in lines at the university and people get too close to me. It bugs the hell out of me. I move farther away and all be darned if they don't move closer, damn things.

Today, I had a Starbucks gift card from a health contest in the office. Got in line. Professor jumps right next to me, practically on my lap. It startled me. I was also instantly offended and frowny faced.

Is it appropriate to wave your arms radically around in the air and yell, "PERSONAL SPACE, PEOPLE! PERSONAL SPACE! I SELF DESTRUCT IN 2.3 SECONDS!" When did we start acting like sardines and lose ground. Or perhaps I need to get theatrical in the THESPIAN sense and have some jazz hands and dancing going on to clear the room. Seriously, it's squatter's rights. Back off!

Second order of business: I got involved in a Facebook discussion string...just reading it on the outside. I would say my friend, GunDiva, also got involved in another convo and a separate string. She commented. And they ate her alive. Well, in an Internet persona sense. She is still alive. I think. I didn't check with her this morning.

I enjoy lively discussions in person and online. There might be a time when I walk away, move on, or have had enough, but for the most part, I can hang. I also like to browse the crazies. There are some "whack jobs" (crazy as hell people) out there who have no qualms about typing like an illiterate junkie or bashing their neighbor. Nowhere did I see any Andy Rooneys, in fact, on any strings.

Time warp flashback: he was my dad's favorite on 60 Minutes and mine as well in later life.

Do ever go look at someone's profile after they have made a comment to see what they look like? I have. I find the hater baiters disguise themselves. Speaking of which, the next topic...those Anonymous creeps.

Photo credit: Pinterest

Really, dudes? You think dressing up like a Phantom of the Opera clown look alike with a big fucking "HOPE" stamped across your chest is going to convince me you come in peace to change the world? Bullshit. I'm running because all I see is Jason wannabes.

Guy Fawkes, you were one creepy effing dude. Actually, you were but mostly in personality sense, not in pictorial fashion. Well, maybe I waver. You have creepy eyes.

And in 2014, Americans made you into a clown. Mr. Fawkes, look down and to the right- below you-you are immortalized as a freak. Everywhere. In Ferguson, Missouri.

Photo credit: flavorwire.com

In fact, the Anonymous peeps added a little of you to a little Vincent Price and a little Jason flair and wallah! 
Photo credit: Wikipedia

Nice stash, tho!

Hey, I am just putting it out there...I look like this behind the monitor...

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Owl You Need Is Love

The daughter has been full of herself. Beat me now.

She challenged me again to boxing (with no gloves or equipment) and I said...

                                                          Photo credit: Pinterest

She thought it would be cute then to wrestle. She always loses and ends up screaming. I told her wrestling is not cheap shots to the vagina and hair pulling. She said that is the only way she knows to throw me off guard. Lordt, what have I done?

                                                           Photo credit: Pinterest

So, after taking her to the ground and tickling her until she peed...which made her scream and get angry at her mother...I proceeded to make dinner. I had a pan in my hand approaching the stove...ready to make some home cooked goodness... and after her crying fit Bug got up and tried to approach me with pee pee pants. Disgusting. No way was I going to let that near me. I took a Musketeer stance and waved a pan in my hand warding her off.

Side note: Moose does not like "play fighting or wrestling or anything like that". Unfortunately for me, I taught him to attack someone who threatens me or Mady. So during this ordeal, he is confused and runs around and barks excessively. 

As I was waving my pan in fancy ninja form and all chaos was breaking loose which consisted of a teen screaming, a dog barking, and a mother fending off pee pee pants...and a partridge in a pear tree...Moose zigged as I zagged.

         Photo credit: Pinterest

As you can already imagine, the pan made a connection to Moose's head. *CLANG!* Instantly, we all stopped fooling around, panicked, and hugged the dog who was cowering. Poor thing. I checked him and hoped I had not cracked his skull. He did not appear to have any brain damage, however, he avoided me for some time after that...poor puppy.

Photo credit: Fargo

Of course, Bug got her words in and asked, "How could you do that to this poor, beautiful puppy, Mommy?" Yes, I felt as big as minutia or smaller.

                                                          Photo credit: Pinterest

It was pretty solemn at the Harry Potter House after that. Moose and I fell asleep on the couch early on and much to my surprise because I kept watching him for a sign to take him to the vet. I guess it was about 7ish when we dozed off.

I was afraid I had killed him. The End.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Seriously, George!

I forgot to add in my new venture...my serious side...go here for the latest! Follow along each month for new things.

                                                                Photo credit: Pinterest

What's hot in law enforcement? What do you want to know? Inquisitive minds want to know...well, at least mine.

Please leave some comments below of your critique of the serious posts.

I can only get better with input. Thank you!