INSPIRE me

Do you ever post something on Facebook ( I commonly refer to as Faceplant for literal reasons) and it gets NO LIKES, NO COMMENTS. All you get is *crickets*.

No?

It happens to me often. I think I may be the only one that understands me.

For instance, I recently posted my Faceplant page, The Boogie Man Is My Friend, of the Phil Robertson (Duck Dynasty, for all you non-duck lovers0 challenge. It got rave reviews. I was passed around faster than a two dollar whore. In church.

Then...I followed it up with some not so spectacular posts which were liked or commented on, but not so much.

The nice thing about having a book or business page is you can see how many people view it if you get enough people to LIKE your page. This is great for marketing purposes. Now on our personal pages we have FOLLOWERS. That's kind of cool. I feel like Thomas Carroll in The Following only not the serial killer version.

The other day, I had an epiphany. I was reading on Abraham Lincoln and looking at some of his old pics. Aha! That's an Aha Moment. I also recently saw the movie, "Lincoln", with Daniel Day Lewis. Well, a few months ago. It is recent in my world.

I happened upon something on Faceplant that was a joke with Tim Burton's characters. Now...for the record...I do not care for Tim Burton. I think he is a great artist, but he is dark and depressing. I don't watch any of his productions, but he had very faithful followers. Like The Boogie Man. You sickos.

I don't know why...but I struck a brilliance chord in my head. It hurt, too.

It just appeared to me that Tim Burton's claim on his inspiration for all his characters was bullshit. I think he was inspired by Abraham Lincoln. They are tall, thin, and kind of creepy. Tim Burton, himself, must be a dark individual or a happy person with a crazy imagination to bring those creepy things to fruition.

Now...how dare you say Abraham Lincoln looks creepy...you think to yourself. That Fargo is making a mockery of Abraham Lincoln. No, it's not a mockery. Just an observation.

It is true he has a face all will remember and he left a legacy for all of us to admire him by and declare him as one of our great Presidents. I agree. And when you refer to the President of the United States...always capitalize it. It is important, people. I give it respect. Even if we have an undesirable President. Like now.

Ok. Enough Tom Foolery.

I think Tim Burton was inspired by Abraham Lincoln. DECLARATION! Trumpets!

Let's say...Abraham Lincoln was in today's world and looked like he did only in today's times.

People would shy away.

Seriously? Yes.

Lincoln was extremely tall and thin and very intimidating. He does not look like a gentle giant. Let's say for instance if Zachzach Galifianakis  was 6-6 and had his curly hair look. People would stare, but they wouldn't say...hey, isn't that guy off that movie Tim Burton made?

Oh, yeah. And when I said that on Faceplant...I got 39 views and no likes, no comments. Just *crickets*...so I deleted it so I wouldn't look dumb.

NOT The Brazilian

Ok. Tap. Tap. VOLUME PLEASE!

Now that I have lost all Boogie Lovahs in that sob story...on with the show. I do thank you from the bottom of my heart for the nice comments, thoughts, emails, and prayers...and daggers  of death...and the What The Fucks is happening to Momma Fargo.

Behind the monitor I might be laughing, crying, snorting, farting, or drinking wine, or nekked. Or none of those. What I am always is funny, even if I just amuse myself. I only have to be funny to one person and that is me. Heck with everyone else. Well, not really.

One thing around the Harry Potter House is constant--- and that is--- chaos. Moose is chasing Otis, Otis is leaning on me, Moose is chasing his stub of a tail, Otis is watching him and proud of his short bus brother, Bug is drawing, reading, fixing her hair, looking in the mirror, irritating her mother, or something.

One thing is...I know I am loved. I really am grateful.

Funny thing I have to share.

The other day, I asked The Sheriff who around there could fix a riding mower at a great price. He said, while thinking and stroking his mustache..."Well, the only feller that did that around here up and died."

"Figures", I said jokingly. Then, he offered to take a look at it.

I pushed the George Jones up the hill to the Sheriff. I thought I was cast in Steel Magnolias as Wheezah. Yep. The Reno 911 version. I was drama... wheezing, panting, and dragging a leash without a dog. And that was all breathing exercises because going uphill in humidity in near Hawaiian conditions about killed a chick.

He greeted me with kindness and said, "No problem, we will look see, I'm not sure I can fix it." I'm sure I rambled my thanks and talked too much because soon he was staring into space like when cops are not interested in your conversation- type stare. I thanked him again, told him not to get crazy if it was going to be expensive, and whenever he had time, curtsy, thank you, leave.

I went on with the day...work...clean...work...organize...sell goodies...come home...fix dinner...rodeo the fam dam of kid, dog, and alien dog.

Bug went out to exercise the dogs and soon came running back in.

BUG: Mom, the lawnmower!

Well, I had no idea what in the world she was talking about, so I followed her outside. Sitting by my back steps was the George Jones. The Sheriff had quietly pushed it back there.

I sat on the George and was very happy, fired it up! Hoorah! The George Jones was up and running. For almost the entire yard. I hit tall grass and killed it, leaving a couple of landing strips of a look -left in the middle of the backyard. I call it my "Two Islands." They are on either side of the sidewalk. I would take a pic to show you, but I'm too lazy. I'm not even going to draw it. Just use your imagination.

Anyhoozle, I trucked over to The Sheriff to see what I owed him. I bickered with him for about 30 minutes and he refused any payment. Ugh. Then he asked why I didn't finish mowing. I didn't want to tell him I killed it. He trucked over to the mower and checked it out...thinking. He and I came to the same conclusion that maybe the fuel pump is shot. Or something. But he fixed the oil leak, and it ran so good...no smoke and shaking. So...next step...another look see.

I sent Bug over there to give him what little money I made today "hooray! for business!" and he put it in a sack of candy (he owns the General Store...wall to wall old fashioned candy and other goodies) and gave it back to her.

*head thunk*

Jesus is sure going to reward him. I feel pretty humbled. And grateful. I live around good hearted peeps. He has no idea about my life, but I think he feels sorry for me and my struggles in the yard...like when I am scraping my paint off the house with a hoe. People look at me like I'm from Mars. I turn to wave to them with my Martian wave...and a little Mork and Mindy. But most people don't know what that is. I'm in my own world. At least I know I'm there. It works great and I can reach high. Next step is wire brush.

Doesn't everyone work a Hoe and have a Brazilian?

Just a question.

Angelic Ways

Check out Angel's post today. It is heartfelt.

I find all over the world everyone is plagued with their own personal obstacles, hardships, and suffering. Some of it is inside and some is shown on the outside. Angel is a survivor. Read her story.

And thank you, Angel, for your support of my book. I'm sorry it opened old wounds for you. I am sending you the bandages, loves, and hugs.