Last night, I got to work a little early. Wanted to touch base with one of my friends who is currently on day shift. She was sitting at a computer and I walked up behind her...stopped in my tracks to see...a King Size Peanut M & M wrapper (empty) and a Mountain Dew bottle (empty). I told her she had better be logging those into evidence for some case. She laughed. Then she told me this story that happened earlier...
Apparently one of our very good friends who is a big boy from Oklahoma and ex-cop had to make a police report on a damaged vehicle. I will call him Okie. He is huge and he giggles like a girl. So he fits right in with the girlfriends.
My friend starts to take down the information while talking to Okie...only for some odd reason his big lab (dog, not a large science playground) is circling her and nudging her holster...over and over again. She pushes him away and he comes back, almost knocking her down trying to get her gun. Finally she kicks the dog.
HER: What the fuck is wrong with your dog, Okie?
Okie: Uh...[points to her gun] maybe he wants that nice, juicy pickle stuck in your gun holster that resembles left over lunch, sister.[giggles]
HER: Oh for shit's sake! [laughs until she is red in the face and embarassed] I can't even get away with sneaking shit off my diet. [giggles] At least it was you and not some other person.
Okie: [giggles] What's that supposed to mean?
HER: [takes the pickle and throws it in the back of his truck] Because you are one of us, nutsack.
Okie: I'm not a cop anymore, goofy. [giggles]
HER: No... a girlfriend.
So the way she told it was so funny that I had tears in my eyes. Then I had to be serious. She asked me if I hated her for cheating. I said, no, but she had to go tell everyone in the briefing room her stories.
So she did. And everyone laughed...and then The English spoke...
The English: Oh, hey, that reminds me of this one time when ( my last name) and I were at this working dog class and she had Otis...and they told everyone to make sure they had their dogs' rewards, toys, or whatever in their packs before we hiked out on this mock search. So when I was teamed up with (my last name) she said she was set and we left. So, Otis did really, really good and found the guy. I was waiting for her to take out Otis's toy and give him a reward. And you know what Otis's reward was? A frickin' huge ham sammich. It was like the biggest Dagwood sammich I have ever seen. And he ate it...all... while wagging his tail and about peeing hisself without chewing.
HER: Aw...a guy after my own heart.
ME: What can I say...Otis hates toys...he likes food. We are two of a kind. [giggles]
In other news...Otis has recovered and the vet said he is fine. However, he is physically not the same and I am sadly, going to have to retire him. I had been gearing up for that anyway, but he was still being called on little kid emergencies since he was such a good dog. He will be spoiled until his last days.