I'm going to Limp Dick, South Dakota. Wah, wah, wah. (That's Deadwood). I'm giving a portion of my winnings to Monkey. I'm on a Monkey Mission.
This is a post about vices and unorthodox fund raising.
While I'm in Limp Dick...don't be one...help out Monkey. Just imagine if 1000 bloggers donated 1 dollar each. That's a thousand dollars. Think about our potential. We can work miracles through the internet network. I'm donating $100.00 cash and some raffle items...stole the money from Hubs' hunting fund. He doesn't know yet. Shhhh. Don't tell him.
Rob, steal, pillage...whatever you can do. Yes...I say rape the cats and pillage the rich women. If you can't afford anything...grab the button from Ian. Chat it up about Monkey on your blog. Maybe one of your followers will click on it and donate. I'm the popo...I'm a broke pig. If I can do it...so can you. If someone donates a $1,000 as a single donation...I will send them my autographed stinky black combat popo boots with street grime from the hood and a junior police badge. I can even throw in a free ride-a-long with the popo bitch from hell...that's me. OK..the rides are always free...but if you're a felon...I can sneak you in. I'd do it for anyone's kid...but this one needs us now. Come one...hand over that dope money. I know you make at least 5 G a week.
If you are in a motorcycle gang...I know you support kid's charities.
Mafia...come on...make Uncle Sam think you are stellar. Put your bucks where the government would least expect it.
Average everyday law-abiding citizen...embrace the children. Put your ten bucks down and send some love to Michelle.
When it comes to children that need help...money has no color, race, gender, or any other differences. It's all green. It all helps.
Go give Michelle some love at http://www.mypixiedreams.com/.
Do it! Do it!
We've got to move it, move it!
And when I return...guaranteed the LIEU and I will have a lot of funny
I'm off to the old west...hopefully...Kevin Kostner will be in his bar...I've got a few things to tell him. You can find us at The Midnight Star. Maybe not, his machines are wound too dang tight...that stingy bastid. I'll be playing three card poker...somewhere...and during the day...spa treatments. The six guns are going with me. My antique sheriff badge is in my pocket...might come in handy. And James Bond's first car is in one of the hotels...might take her for a spin. I'll be back at high noon, pardners! Wah, wah, wah...Limp Dick will never be the same...not while the sheriff is in town.