Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Friday, October 29, 2010

The Mabbit

Ever wonder what lurks there in the night? Dwells amongst us, near us, next to us?  Wheels was about to encounter The Mabbit.

Wheels had a rough night. It was dark, windy, cold. The weather was a direct reflection of how the night would go.  Worried about passing the last few nights, his anxiety and anticipation were higher than normal. And maybe I didn't throw enough tennis balls for him to retrieve.

He responded to an overdose of a pregnant girl. Running to the location...(he is a protector of children...born and unborn)...he overshot the runway and ran past apartment A, going to apartment M. I stood next to apartment A, hoping to give him a hint. Distraught, he did not see the writing on the wall, and became upset with himself. He ran back and forth, still not registering the lettering system of the apartments in the hood.

ME: Wheels, calm down. What apartment are you supposed to go to?

WHEELS: A.

ME: What apartment are you looking at?

WHEELS: C.

ME: What way to they decrease or increase in the alphabet?

WHEELS: I am so dumb.

So with the enlightening moment, he entered apartment A. Brushing past the first occupant, he was directed to the pregnant female who had locked herself into the bathroom. Wheels tried talking her into opening the door. She wouldn't have it.

He broke the door and brought her out for the paramedics. The girl was one I had dealt with many times before. Drama Queen.  According to her friends, she was pregnant with "twins" at 5 weeks. Her boyfriend broke up with her a few days ago and she was depressed. She just announced to her boyfriend and friends she was pregnant. Took some pills in front of her friends because her boyfriend wouldn't come back to her. Thinking to myself...I wondered if she really was pregnant. And twins? At 5 weeks? A little early to determine that, but perhaps I was just being a cynical cop.

Well...she could just go to the funny farm. Doc would figure it out. And if she wasn't pregnant...the wrath of the Doc she was about to meet at the ER would bedazzle her forever.

As the paramedics were checking her vitals and the  meds she ingested...to the right I got a glimpse of the object coming through the front door. Sarg tapped me on the shoulder.

SARG: Look at that.

I turned. UGH! The Mabbit.

ME: Are you shitting me? What is she doing here?

SARG: How could not look at it. It's like a train wreck. Sexy outfit.

ME: I'm going to have to poke my eyes out.

SARG: I'm going to throw up.

It was the famous Mabbit. A well-known "somewhat slow" person, 45 years old, a drunk, criminally inclined, short,  large,  lady type resemblance of a thing, big breasted, one eye drooped, cross-eyed...etc. OK. It was  the female version of Fat Bastard run over by a semi-truck. That's all I can do to describe her. Mother nature was not kind. And some guys referred to her as The Mabbit. Because that's her last name.

The Mabbit entered the apartment despite the fact it was occupied by 4 cops, 5 firemen, and 2 paramedics...plus all the household members. She was scantily dressed, wearing a tube dress like thing in leopard print. Damn sexy.

ME: Mabbit, you need to leave. You can't just walk in here.

MABBIT: I'm the apartment manager.

ME: It's not your business and we can't divulge any information. Please leave.

MABBIT: Well, I'm going to take the kids away so they don't get scared.

ME: Alright. Say...is Larry taking you out on the town tonight?

MABBIT: No. Why?

ME: You're all dolled up in that sexy dress.

MABBIT: Oh. Well, I just put this on to please him.

WHACK! Sarg socked me a good one.

SARG: Stop it. I'm going to laugh. Or barf. I can't determine which first.

ME: Come on. You know you want her. Heck...she's so hot, I might.

SARG: You are so gross.

WHEELS: Boss, I'll take Mabbit out.

ME: You are such a nice boy.

SARG: Do you want to warn him?

ME: I can't. I'm just observing him today. Can't help him. Maybe you should.

SARG: I don't know. We all learned the hard way.

Wheels was a gentleman and took Mabbit and the kids to her apartment. Shortly thereafter, he returned...white as a ghost.

WHEELS: Boss, Boss. She was so gross.

ME: Why? What happened?

WHEELS: When she got to her apartment, she sat down and her dress rode up and well...it was like icky.

ME: Yeah? What was icky?

WHEELS: Her va j j was just hanging out. I about puked. Then she got up and bent over to pick up a blanket for one of the kids and I saw the biggest moon and craters ever.

ME: Was it like THE GROWLER? [chased him with claw hands]

SARG: Yeah...did it come out after you?

ME: Did she have money in her crack for you?

WHEELS: This was a setup again, wasn't it.

ME: Nope. You are just such a gentleman that we can't interrupt you when you do kind acts or change your personality.  You acted out of the kindness of your heart. And Mabbit will love you forever. So when you respond to her place again, she will remember how nice you were. And she shares all of her with us. Sometimes a little too much of her. Is that so bad?

WHEELS: In this case? Yes.

SARG: You know, she's a stripper, don't you?

WHEELS: No way. No way.

SARG: Way.

So....I socked Sarg back. Because he was making fun. Mabbit would not even qualify for an underground nightclub stripper. Heck...not even the bouncer. Well...maybe the bouncer. Back in the car, Wheels was still pondering the stripper thing...

WHEELS: Boss, I can't believe she is a stripper. That is just nasty.

ME: *blink*blink*

WHEELS: Dont' you think so?

ME: I think it's so fun you are so naive and innocent.

WHEELS: Yeah. I've never been to a stripper club. Ever. You'd think since I was in the military I would have gone, but I didn't.

ME: *blink*blink* This is a setup, right?

Friday, October 8, 2010

Define ME...Karmachameleon

Freedom of speech. I believe in the Constitution, the Bill of Rights...what our country was founded on. I believe in God. Do I believe in Karma? I don't know. Mostly not.

I received a comment on one of my past posts about "my psychological issues" relating to the process I was going through when my husband decided to leave me after 22 years together.

Apparently, that person, "Annie", was upset I had lied to a suspect to gain a confession. Cop shit 101. No one understands it unless they have been in the copworld, or they believe cops use tactics...which are legal...by the way, to investigate or interrogate. Am I a liar? No. Have I lied? Yes. Doesn't make any sense. Yes. I use tactics in my job which do not define me as a person.

So Annie believes Karma has bitten me in the ass...

Do I think when I walk down a road and step on an innocent ant carrying his lunch home that I will someday stumble on that same road and hit my head because I killed a creature? No. I. do. not. I believe in Natural Selection.


Do I think that if I pull a weed and put it in the compost pile instead of burning in my fire pit and roasting weenies over it...that somehow I will be rewarded? Not unless you compare composted soil to a good weenie.


Do I think because I mow my lawn and cut the heads off the grass blades that death will fall upon my doorstop some day? For the love of Harriet.


Do I think God will strike us down when we do bad? Well, if that was true...no human life would be left here. I think God forgives.

I believe in being a steward to the Earth and helping people. I think most people are good, not evil. Even though I often only deal with evil...most people are good. Living good...doesn't mean with material riches.

My blog is me. It is who I am. What I have seen, what I think, what I have witnessed, what I was told, what I FEEL. Simple as that. You get to know the cop as a person. Daily struggles...triumphs...and the insides and outs of cop work...and my personal life...the in betweens.

To overanalyze me or define me by Karma is ridiculous. I am no mystery. I am a human being inside a cop suit. Citizens often look at us as the "untangible human figure." We struggle with that stereotype and battle on a daily basis.

I think like a cop and mother 24/7. I am a girl. I like to be a girl. I am country. I am city. I am many things. Define me. I like it all like that. Most of all...I am good. I protect people. I open my heart to others, yet, I can de-personalize things from work.

If you were to define me by one thing...know I have HEART.  I know who I am. Am I lost? No. But I am going through a tough and sad time which has a light at the end of the tunnel. That is all it is.

I haven't changed since I was a kid. I've always been generous and giving. If I stopped doing that...well, that's just not going to happen. No matter how much I get "beaten" up by life.

There is no abandonement issue. There are no bad things I learned from my parents. My dad was a great father and role model. My mother is a kind and gentle soul. Although I haven't always agreed with everything they have done...I have loved them unconditionally. And the bad things in life...are behind, not something I even remember or hold onto to. I was taught forgiveness at a very young age. It stuck. I came out of my parents separation a stronger person and I got to know my father. And now I am getting to know my mother. How can that be bad?

Was my marriage dysfunctional? Yes, at times it was. Give and take on both sides. At times it was very good. More good than bad. And I stayed because of love. I didn't stay because I was stuck or scared to be alone. I didn't stay because I was weak. I stayed because I loved him. Good and bad. Simple as that. Was I living a dream? No. I was living life. I still am living life. I have feelings.  I write about fairytales and Princesses because as a kid that is what you dream about. I still believe it. Disney did that to me. Sue me. I'm a little girl like that.

Because I took snapping, belittling, and yelling doesn't mean I was battered. It meant I was strong because it didn't make me a victim. It didn't make me lash out. It didn't make me hide. It didn't make me treat people as I had been treated.  And it didn't happen on a daily basis. It did happen a lot. Did I stand up for myself...yes. Did I lose the battle...yes. Did I think he would eventually stop being like that? I don't know. It's OK. If I find someone later in life...well, I will choose a lot more wisely.

People are not perfect. Is my husband a bad person? No. What he did and does isn't right or good. His life is on a bad path. But he has good in him. Have I hated him? No. I do not hate. But I have disliked what he has become.

I am not afraid to be alone. I have been alone a lot. Married and single. I'm independent and strong. Again...I am not a mystery to be unfolded. I give you myself right out in the open. The Dragon's soft spot revealed.

When I write...I write the emotions I go through. What should scare you the most is the crisis or emotions cops go through...and the fact they have to put on a game face at work...while we protect you...and do it fairly. Imagine that stress overload and the burdens they are able to carry. And I do. That should scare people. Or maybe not. Cops can take a lot and keep on ticking.

That should tell you, Annie, how strong I am. The fact that I share my journey, my emotions...should not make you overanalyze what you read. Or even overanalyze me. Everyone goes through change. Everyone goes through emotional times...good and bad. Take me how I am.

Am I sorry that I have shared my emotions or thoughts on my blog? Absolutely not. And I will continue. And anyone can still comment as they wish. It's Freedom of Speech and I embrace it. Am I upset at Annie? No. It's her opinion. Did I scowl when I read that? No. I did think WTF. Someone who really doesn't know me...thought she would analyze me from a computer. And some of what you said, Annie, was right. But some was very wrong. You missed the mark. Queenie and Red summed it up enough.

I don't study human behavior from a book or think I can look inside someone's mind. I live human behavior when I am in your house...seeing how you act....what you have...how you live...how you treat others. I'm pretty good at it. And I try to help during that time based upon human behavior. I know people. I know myself. Do I have a change to go through? Yes. Am I still me? Yes.

The only thing that should be abandoned around here is hate.

The reason I said I was going to someday believe that being ALONE was OK....was simply because I chose to grow old with someone.  And now a different choice was being made by someone else. Loss of control or choice. If you want to label it...it was that. Growing old with someone...that was the path I wanted to take. It doesn't mean that I have abandonement issues. It doesn't mean I fear being alone. It was just simple. 

So here's what I think of your Karmachameleon....SQUISH!