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Monday, April 25, 2011

Grandma's Flowers



I have known it as the Lenten Rose. At least that is one of it's names. It holds beauty that no other flower I have known possesses. And it's mystery beholds my curiosity. These are the varieties in my garden. For the first year, the burgundy ones have bloomed. I blame this on my Grandma. Today...Easter...I went out to admire them before I went off to work. I thought of my Grandma. I thought of Jesus and the meaning of Easter. The sun was shining on their meaty petals. I still am fascinated with the flower. After all these years. Grandma was very religious. She would have liked the flowers.


Helleborus  is commonly called the Christmas Rose. An old legend has been passed down in the "Land of Gardens" or at least by those of us that cherish nature's goodness...that the "mysterical" flower sprouted in the snow from the tears of a young girl who had weeped because she had no gift to give the Christ child in Bethlehem. This among the legends and myths is my favorite and I hold onto this story because the flower is so beautiful. I have passed it onto Bug in hopes she will also enjoy the legend and beauty.
 
It has meaning to me in more ways than one. I planted these in memory of my friend who died in a horse riding accident. She and I had discovered them in a nursery and were fascinated with them, vowing to plant them in our gardens. We never got the chance. She fell off her horse just two weeks before our plans to spruce up our gardens with the mysterious plant. This was years ago...I planted them anyway...in memory of her just a few days after her funeral. Every year they come up around the time when Patty died. Again, a memory I will always cherish. They were meant to make me smile.
 
I rushed off to work only to be bombarded by crazy calls, emergencies, fights, gunfire, burglaries, drunks, and drug problems. I didn't have time to breathe on the Easter chaos. I mean... seriously...when they said "Roll the stone away", I am sure in ancient times they never thought it would behold bats flying out of the cave...only peace and harmony that Christ had risen. Yet...the crazies had risen. Had I missed Jesus?
 
About 8:50 pm, my brother called to tell me Grandma had just passed away. As I walked down the steps from my friends house after gorging on Easter dessert, I found the tears rolling down my face. They couldn't last long. Before I knew it...the police radio was blaring of emergencies and I was sent to back an officer who was dealing with an uncooperative, irrational, and drunk crazy person.
 
Game face. Stone face. Only it was stone laden with rain. I was such a boob. But I loved my Grandma very much. She was very close to all her grandchildren. I was the oldest. My life had been blessed with her in it.
 
No sooner was I en route to the drunk, when the House of Popo then called for my assistance to negotiate a woman who was firing her gun in the air and then threatening it at Sarg. They were at a standoff. Bracing myself in the car going over 100 mph, I was waiting for him to fire and anticipating the police radio to ring out with shots fired...I held off my mourning.
 
I didn't have time to grieve...until now.
 
My Grandma was a fine lady...a community pillar...and I will surely miss her. She has left me with a legacy of love and the finest example of a woman I could know. It brings me peace she passed on Easter. It just says it all ...how Jesus values my Grandma...to bring her home on his special day.
 
As I walked barefoot through the garden today with the sun beating down on me and lighting up the beautiful petals...I couldn't help but think my Grandmother was walking with me.
 

19 comments:

The Queen said...

oh honey.. I am so sorry for your loss... big hugs from the Royals.

Ed said...

Sorry for your loss.

And although she is most definitely in a better place now, it's never easy to lose a loved one. The worst thing about death isn't the dying, it's the getting left behind.

I am sure she is looking down on you right now and smiling at the wonderful lady you turned out to be.

Kristine said...

So sorry for the loss of your Grandma...
sending big bear hugs your way...{{{hugs}}}

Daffy said...

My love to you, my heart's tears for you, my arms to support and embrace you.

Beat And Release said...

Condolences from the Beat & Release family. My father passed last year on Father's Day, the same day my son graduated from high school, so I can definitely relate.

Keep the memories close to your heart. They are the pages of time that tend to melt away as life continues and we must make a special effort to retain the really good pages.

Ms. A said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers.

VandyJ said...

Nice to have a good memory of her.
And on another note, I'm jealous of the fact you had worm enough weather to walk outside barefoot already. We had snow all weekend.

singedwingangel said...

Oh sweetheart my condolences to you for your loss. My memaw was my life when she passed when I was only 15. I was heart broken. Cherish the time and memories andIlove thos eflowers

Jewell said...

Awww...Momma...I'm so sorry to hear that your Grandma crossed today. I am so sorry for your loss and the loss that so many of your family are going through. Just know that your Grandma will always walk arm and arm with you. Her body is gone, but her love never will be as it will always live on in you and the memories that you have. (((( Momma )))

middle child said...

Getting near the end of your post, I was thinking, wow, you haven't even had time to grieve. I love tat you hve the flowers and the memories. Easter, the best day of all.

Dutchess said...

I'm so sorry honey. *hugs*

Dazee Dreamer said...

That was a beautiful post. My thoughts are with you right now. What a wonderful woman, and so sad that you weren't able to grieve like you really needed to.

big cyber hug.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Those are some lovely flowers...and every bit as much as the person who not only PLANTED them, as well as the person in whose remembrance they were planted.
Yep, you know Easter all too well.
Nothing wrong with that at all.

Roll safe out there.

le Chef said...

That was beautiful. The post, the flowers, your connection with your Grandma. This post was the very essence of blooming.
Very fitting, and I'm sure she had a hand in those flowers ....
I'm so sorry she passed, but Easter is a special day, and it seems she would have gotten a smile out of the timing.

{{{HUGS}}}

suz said...

I'm so sorry, Momma. Easter seems appropriate. I'm glad she had such a good life so full of love, but I am sorry for what you have lost.

Bethany said...

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss, Momma. Prayers going out to Grandma and the rest of your family.

Cheryl said...

Again, I am so sorry, that I have been out of the loop as far as your posts go...

I am so sorry to read that your Grandma passed. My sincerest of condolences to you and your family. I think it is wonderful though that you had a close and loving relationship with her. Beautiful memories help, I think when one loses a special loved one.

Mad Mind said...

One of my favorite songs is by Lonestar called "I'm Already There" because of the words. I always think of Amanda, my own Grandma, and others who have passed before.

"I'm already there. Take a look around. I'm the sunshine in your hair, I'm the shadow on the ground, I'm the whisper in the wind. I'm your imaginary friend". "I'm the beat in your heart. I'm the moonlight shining down. And I'll be there till the end."

It just makes me feel better to know they are still watching and participating in some way. How can they not when they aren't far from our thoughts?

Tennessee Grammie said...

Darlin Momma,
We just heard about Grandma from your Mama. So sorry to hear of the passing of a wonderful and loving Lady. Your tribute to her is beautiful and she is smiling on all of us from Heaven. We have another Angel looking over us and we'd better make Grandma proud! We love you and Bug.