This is a big week ahead.
Tomorrow is 9-11. John Wills' book comes out. I'm in it. I'm excited...or just a little giddy.
Let's face it. It's the closest to famous I will ever get. Let's put it into perspective, shall we?
Thursday is my 45th birthday. Yeah, shut it. I'm old.
No one is going to throw me a party. I'm going to be alone with child...which is the same these days since Bug is infatuated with Justin Bieber and the computer.
NO! Not online chatting. NEVER! Not my child. I keep her away from the Internet zombies. She doesn't even have email.
She's into watching TV shows (child friendly) and playing educational games. Oh..and reading about the Bieb. Gag me with a spoon.
Anyway...Thursday is a big day. Yep. I work. The Blogess, Jenny Lawson, is going to be on Katie Couric and I don't even get to watch it. Poo.
My birthday may be super uneventful, so let's recap the last year.
1) I have had so many big disasters and mini-disasters that I am now in the hole financially. Is that possible? Yes, it is. Like a big black hole of Bermuda in my backyard only in my wallet.
2) I just opened my bills for my miscarriage. Seriously? Can't the doctors and hospital have a little sympathy? Heathens. It would have been paid for if I died. People have no respect anymore.
3)I tried out for Survivor and didn't even get a "NOOOO thank you letter". Yes. I was awesome. I was in shape. I was tan. I was ready. I GOT NOTHING. Apparently I wasn't weird enough. Well, actually I don't know because I didn't get a response. Oh...and they recruited me to fill out an application. I never would have done it if they hadn't encouraged me to do so. Thank you, Survivor, for driving my dick in the dirt (if I had one, I mean). So now...Survivor, I am prepared for your fat show. The fat island. Bring it on. CrossFit sucks. Not really. I was acting. Maybe they disqualified me because the three non-survival things I wanted to bring with me were chocolate, tampons, and contacts. Why? Because chocolate rocks and I need to see where to put the tampons and make sure I'm eating chocolate and not some jungle bug dung. Ok. Now I get why I was rejected. Perhaps I shouldn't fill out applications while I'm on my period.
4)My house has been up for sale like FOREVER. I'm sad it hasn't sold. It's a marvelous place. I guess the people don't want to drive 25 miles to town. Recluses unite!
5) My ex is still an a-hole. Revelation.
6) I have forgotten reviews. Ugh. I feel like a butthead. I can't get organized. Or here it is. I was given $25.00 toward a product to try and a $25.00 gift for a reader to a super great website. Well, I'm too broke to even put $25.00 extra dollars toward something to try for a review. Epic fail.
7) I reviewed some great books from Thomas Fitzsimmons. I really liked his stories and rather enjoyed reading them and relating to the cop side and the characters. I even passed them along to friends...who of course, promptly returned them because they were autographed. Thank you. I must have fallen off the face of the earth or he got busy with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. Which...I might say, how could they possibly be as important as my reading agenda? Anyhoozle, I'm waiting for his next Beckett novel to come out. Come on, already. LOL. Shouldn't he be done? He might have thought I was a little bizarre and probably changed his website so I couldn't stalk his books. Can you be blocked from Amazon?
8) John Wills featured one of my stories in his book, Women Warriors: Stories from The Thin Blue Line. That was pretty neat. OK. I've said that twice now.
9)I got married!
10) I have not felt a day over 30, so I'm sticking to that. I was the skinniest I've been in a long time and now it's time to get superfit.
Well, now I feel energized. My last year wasn't so bad, was it? Ok. It was. I survived. On with the 45th year of my life sentence!!