Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Sunday, August 25, 2013

Completely...Naked..Tales of The Reentry Program

It has been an adjustment getting used to the ruckus and disruption after the reentry program of a teenager. Goodbye, Peaceful Summer.

I missed my Bug. I miss my quiet time as well.

The biggest class in the Reentry Program is "Mom Space." It's one of the general requirements. However, it isn't being absorbed by the student, so remedial training has started.

My bedroom is on the upper northeast side of the house with a huge walk in closet. It is my sanctuary. It is the no-dog and no-teenager zone. None of them obey the rules. NONE! It Is wearing on my nerves.

It is my job on a 24/7 mission to ingrain in the minds of young recruits why we have sanctuaries and why we must respect private time.

As the sun was just peeking in my windows, I was enjoying my morning and just about to fall asleep when the door burst open  and Bug and Moose jumped on my bed. Their funny jester was interrupted by Bug's awareness...

BUG: Mom! Are you naked under those sheets?

ME: Duh. I like to sleep naked.

BUG: MOM! That is SOOO GROSS! Oh my gosh. I am traumatized for life.

ME: Uh. It's my room. I can sleep naked if I want to. Besides, silky sheets, naked...it's AWESOME!

BUG: No! NO! NOOO! Moose and I are going to be ruined. Come on Moose! Let's go. Ick. I can't believe my mother would do this to me.

ME: My room. My rules. You should knock. Besides it's been hot.

BUG: I was trying to be funny.

ME: Foiled again.

BUG: I am going to be grossed out for the rest of my life.

ME: Yes. And you know what is better than sleeping in silky sheets naked?

BUG: What, Mom?!?

ME: Naked skin touching naked skin. Go find me a hot man to go in here.

BUG: Uh. MOM! GROSS! YOU can't SAY THAT!

ME: Too late.

BUG: Nasty. Just nasty. I don't think it's funny.

ME: Want a hug?

And so...she and Moose ran screaming out of my bedroom.

So goeth the first lesson.

9 comments:

TheRoyal Queen said...

ROTFLMAO

damn captcha thingy.. fuck it. one try.. that's all you get woman..

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Since you are such an awesome mother, the kid needs something to zing you with.

Some of your readers would like pictures!

Ms. A said...

Educating Bug... OH.MY.

Coffeypot said...

I don't like silk sheets unless there is a good foot board to foot-brace. I tried the silks and got friction burns on my knees trying to do the nasty. Judy had to get on top and all my heavy breathing came from the cardio effects of trying to get traction and not the sex itself.

Momma Fargo said...

TheRoyalQueen...if you had as many spammers as me, you would have Captcha. Now...go remove that pea from your mattress and play nice in the royal kingdom.

WSF,

I sent some to my email list. Did you get them?

MS. A.,

Yes, I know. So wrong, but it felt so right!

Coffeypot,

I don't know what to say. Maybe you were doing it wrong?

Tennessee Grammie said...

Oh my word... what is Bug going to think if she finds out Aunt Superwoman sleeps in the "altogether" too! LOL

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Yeah, right.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Nothing like spontaneous banter to break any monotony...LOL.
You can't make this stuff up.
Very funny.

Stay safe (and silky) down there.
(geographically-speakign that is...ROFL.)

Anonymous said...

LOL