Today was a family tradition. I made fresh salsa in September. Usually, my mother and I would make it after going to a farmer's market and retrieving the fresh goodies. However, this year she is there and I am here. I also received the ingredients free from my neighbors and friends which was quite a nice surprise. Things grow in abundance here. It's like Hawaii minus the bananas, umbrella drinks, tropical paradise, and cabana boys. Sorta.
It appears that news travels fast that I made salsa, so I told those that gave me goodies that I would give them salsa if they also provided me a container. So beganeth the labor of love.
I completed the task in high fashion, donning my People of Walmart garb and up-do.
With so much vegetable guts to dispose of, I felt it was fitting to put them in the compost pile. I so happened to do that at the same time that Lord Farquaad was in his backyard which shares a fence line with mine.
FARQUAAD: Looks like you mowed your lawn super short. What's the purpose.
ME: I'm into Brazilian grass.
FARQUAAD: I don't follow.
ME: I'm getting ready to treat it for bugs and creepy things. I wanted it short.
FARQUAAD: Oh. Why you do that, you just send them to everyone else's yard and then when it wears off, they come back to your grass. It's like a bug vacation.
ME: You seriously think that's how bug killer works?
FARQUAAD: Around here, bugs are huge and so many of them you can't kill them.
ME: I see. (roll eyes) Apparently you don't know who I am. I am the master bug killer. I. AM. THE. BUG. LAW.
FARQUAAD: Yeah. I pretty much don't get you. What are you doing?
ME: Feeding my compost pile.
FARQUAAD: Uh. Did you notice it's right by my fence?
ME: Duh. It was the farthest from my windows and doors. Perfect space. And in the corner.
FARQUAAD: It's a bug magnet.
ME: Well, if you would use the bug killer...
FARQUAAD: You just impossible sometimes. Heard you were making salsa today. Missus told me.
ME: Yep. Yep. Just finished.
FARQUAAD: Do you think you could spare some for me?
ME: Sure. Help yourself. (pointed to the compost pile) You might want to hurry before the bugs get in there.
Yes. I am ornery. Yes. I did give Lord Farquaad real salsa, but not before being an ass. Besides, I thought I was damn funny. Sometimes I amuse myself.