Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Friday, September 20, 2013

Tin Cans and A String

A student came in to talk about her program choice and ask some questions. Talking to a college student is like looking at a Picasso. Sometimes you get an arm coming out of a head. Sometimes you get a square body. Sometimes you get wheels for brains. Sometimes your dress is a rhombus. It's just that their mind goes so fast and all over the place. I can talk college.

So...this student got distracted by the receptionist telling her about the new iPhone updates coming. They both talked "Valley Girlish" about the negatives. Pretty soon another student walked in and joined in on the conversation.

Apparently, they are all freaked out about the "government" getting your fingerprints from apps and GPS tracking.

I told them that is why I don't have a cell phone, that I have a tin can and a string.

Pretty much listened to the sound of crickets and looked at deer eyes.

The conversation continued...

STUDENT 1: Yeah, like, they would need a search warrant to get that stuff and I would have to delete everything on my phone and I don't like them watching me through my camera or uploading my information.

ME: Yeah. That's why you need to go back to a tin can and a string.

STUDENT 1: Well, the police can't do anything and they will not violate my right to privacy because I know the laws. I took a Criminal Justice class.

The receptionist started to smirk about now and looked at me. Me who was playing dumb.

STUDENT 2: Well, they can just take your phone away except they can't take your fingerprints. Those are protected. So if they want to take a picture of you, you can hide yourself.

This went on for 10 or so minutes and I added in my two cents about how cell phones were evil and going to be the downfall of our souls.

Finally I had to pipe in...

ME: Well, cops can get your fingerprints without a warrant. And photographs.  And if you don't want to give up your phone if it contains anything of evidentiary value...for instance you are discovered to hold valuable information on there, even if it incriminates you...BAM! They are going to take your phone because of exigent circumstances. They may get a warrant in a few days or a subpoena depending on the state law, but your phone is gone. For days. No phone. Your life is over.

STUDENT 1: Well, I would sue because I know my rights. They would pay me big money for my loss.

STUDENT 2: Uh. No. They would have your phone. For life. Because you are an idiot. And I would cooperate because I have to have my phone. I don't care if they see my naked pictures.

ME: Are you my long lost daughter?

STUDENT 2: Uh. I don't think so.

ME: You should be.

STUDENT 1: Well, that is just ridiculous and I know they can't do all that and that is not right and they can get in big trouble. Brutality and stuff.

ME: Actually, she is exactly right. And brilliant.

The receptionist giggled.

ME: (looking at the receptionist) They don't know who I am, do they?


ME: Let's not tell them. After all, WITSEC would come after me.

We giggled.

STUDENT 1: Well, I know.

STUDENT 2: Maybe you should go talk to your Criminal Justice professor and ask him.

STUDENT 1: Well, I only took one class and I failed it, so.

ME: Tin can and string, girls. I'm telling ya.


RussianBear said...

Cell phones are just another form of electronic tether. A freedom loving people should never allow themselves to be so constrained.

Read a book titled, The King in the Window, by Adam Gopnik. It's actually a children's book, but it's main theme is a warning about losing your soul to the screens that surround you.

Coffeypot said...

Damn, woman. Confiscate the phone with the naked pictures and send it to me.

Daddy Hawk said...

"I only took one class and I failed it..." Makes her an expert on all things. She has a future in media or politics.

Allenspark Lodge said...

Hilarious!!! My kids still get irritated when I tell them we put people on the moon with less computing power than your watch has - and no computers in the classroom! Heaven help us it we ever do deal with terrorists on our own soil, because our kids would still be fighting over losing their cell phone.
Bionic Cowgirl

Mad Jack said...

Yeah, getting right back to the important part - naked pictures. Get 'em. Post 'em. Watch as your ratings go right through the roof.