Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The World According to Fargo

It's now been almost a year since I left the cophood. Over time, and each day, I still miss it. However, there are many things I don't miss and I am grateful to be where I am today. I am very grateful for my job and I am finding it fitting for me at this time. Will I always be at the Harry Potter House? I can't see myself here for eternity, but I do see myself owning this for the rest of my life. Perhaps if I someday can afford a place in the country, I would rent this one. The market isn't conducive to selling this, although I probably could break even or get a little return IF it sold. It depends on how patient I am.

I really am lucky to be able to have my daughter's college tuition paid for as long as I am employed by the college. I see myself there for quite some time and I want to get my Master's as well.

It is and has been a struggle going from a very nice income to poverty level. What is more eye opening, is your dreams failing right in front of your eyes. It is a very humbling experience.

Record scratch, back up the bus...I am damn LUCKY to have a job here. Period. Just thought I would throw that in. With the failure of one dream or others, comes the opportunity for new ones. People like me (crazy and stubborn) don't stay down for long and don't give up, but maybe make a right turn, Clyde, or take the 4th tunnel instead of the 1st one.

The stories I hear from locals brings home the tragic turn of events when the Industrial Age crashed in the Midwest. I was in Wyoming and far removed from an economic crash, although I worked through recessions and three busts in the oil field. Wyoming really didn't get hit as hard as the Heartland and being a cop was job security where we couldn't keep enough help. I went from a department where we hired 1 or 2 annually for about 8 years to a department that hired 15-20 annually. I couldn't have imagined losing everything until I came to Indiana.

Believe me, I have lost a lot, but not everything and not my home, yet. I say yet because we never know the turn of events in our lives that may hit us. Although, I have strived at one time to keep everything afloat, I then learned to let go of what had to be cut even if it affected my reputation and my credit rating. Many of you may not be aware that I have had to lean on family and friends, go to the food bank, go on assistance with gas and electricity when my 2nd marriage went into the tank and when child support wasn't paid on time, if ever.

I'm not proud of those moments. It took a toll on me mentally and physically (still is) and I found myself in situations I never thought I would be in at this age. The difference is it was NOT the economy or world events that changed my financial future, it was me. I chose to move here, leaving my security and career. Even though the chain of events went down in a much different scheme than my dream of moving here had been planned out, it was meant to be. I think I did things for the right reasons.

Despite the hardships, I am making my way back up and fighting out of the bottom. It's what I do. It's what I have to do for my daughter. The many people that have yelled, belittled, judged, scolded, and rolled their eyes at me are astounding and surprise, surprise...have been some family and friends. In those rants people told me my decisions should never be made because of my child and to sacrifice everything security-wise was stupid. When I was in my darkest moments, I started to believe them. All it took to snap me out of that was to look at her accomplishments in school, her personality, her church activities, and the growth she has made mentally. She has not lived without frustration and stress.

Believe me, she is getting a lesson in being the Master of Disasters and still we keep trucking on. Why? Because life is wonderful! We can handle it. At least that's what I am told. I always do what I am told.

It's going to be a great Christmas, even if it is a Charlie Brown one. I have a lot to be thankful for and life is grand!


Ms. A said...

One never knows the road life may take us down, either with wrong turns, detours, or choice of travel time. It's nice to hear you and Bug are doing well on the road you are on!

Coffeypot said...

That spirit is why I love you. That and that you have great tits. Anyway, you are an amazing lady and a great example for Bug.

Old NFO said...

One truly doesn't know... And we do the best we can for OUR lives, not because somebody else thinks we should... Good on ya for doing what works for you.

Masshole Mommy said...

I love that you have a positive outlook. I am happy for you that you made a decision that you can live with and it seems to be working.

angel shrout said...

Sweetie I hear ya on getting assistance and family kicking you when you are down. Totally understand. But when we rise above and get the blessing that is at the end of this ohhhh how wonderful is that going to be. We won't have to say a word or be petty, God will have already taught them a painful lesson on the truth about what blessing really is.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
God bless you dear...you DO "get it".
Every day does indeed have it's own "unique" share of "crossroads", and we're never clairvoyant enough to KNOW which is the "right" path.

But to stand there, mark time, and NEVER take ANY road is a REAL disaster.
(been there, done that)
Almost as bad as turning back!

I've come to learn that you deal with the days of your life as you deal with people...ONE-AT-A-TIME.

Besides, it' avoids all those "crowds"...lol.

Chin up, Kiddo.
Like my late Mom used to say..."It could ALWAYS be worse".
(but she never said HOW?)

You roll safe, stay strong, and keep the faith down there.

Anonymous said...

Never, EVER feel less than because you needed help. I've been down that road - am still slogging my way through the mud, so I get it, I really, truly do. - Strange how some people you would NEVER think would turn on you ... do.
I'm choosing to believe I'm having to see all this, close up, and daily, for a reason. I believe you are too because you're strong, and have a great purpose in this life. It WILL get better, and you are not alone. .. I may vanish from time to time, but I'm still here lady ;) I know you will come out of this even stronger - you are like, totally kickass!!
Hang in there.