My night last night was no different than any other night. I went to bed happy and fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow.
I woke up several times as usual. Twice to potty and poo patrol the dogs. They were busy making poop in their sleep. Beat me. It happens. I did it and went back to bed.
I got up.
I hated my hair.
I hated all the outfits. I looked at my closet and I longed to wear some of the clothes in there, but nothing look good no matter what I chose.
I was ugly.
I was fat.
I was fat and ugly.
I made my lunch, grabbed my workout bag and headed to work and started the day.
Weeks ago, I started the application process for grad school. Somehow they created another ID number. I am a NUMBER! Blah. Then I had two. Then I could not get into any finance programs, software, or university programs except the general website, email, and thank baby Jesus...the website that has student programs. I could do very little. It still wasn't resolved this morning. It was worse.
They had their best gurus on it and still no resolution. I swear...someone was clicking too many buttons. If I don't have a number, I am nothing. I can't work out, I can't eat, I can't get paid...blah, blah.
Then, I looked at my fitness tracking and I have fallen down in my running program and I have a race coming up that I am not ready for. So...I looked around for some more races and there is nothing until fall. At least close to me, that I can afford. Maybe that is my sign to work harder during the spring, prepare for the one summer mudder and the fall trail races.
I am so not pleased with my handling of the winter woes and bad weather. I long to be outside.
My daughter has been a pill.
I don't want to write. I try to force myself and nothing comes out. I am months behind schedule. Not only books, but the blog sucks. I have plenty to blog about, but it isn't here.
The dogs are crazy. They are restless, despite the play in the snow we do.
My house needs some repairs and I can't do them until the weather gets nicer.
Maybe it is the lack of spring weather.
It has never been an issue in Wyoming. I kept driving forward just as I feel I have been now.
I don't know why I am pissy.
I don't like myself much today.
I tried to go to bed early and I couldn't sleep. So, here I sit writing about being pissy. You know what the dictionary says about pissy? It is defined as..
of, relating to, or suggestive of urine,
inferior; contemptible, or arrogantly argumentative.
Well, there you have it. I am a yellow cock.