Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, May 15, 2014

You Are Clamping My Style

Nothing irritates me worse than a terrible handshake. Let me tell you, professors and other academia do not know a proper handshake if it were to be demonstrated in a thesis project. What is up with that? I want to Fargo Flip anyone that gives me the wet noodle shake, the clammy fish shake, the finger clamp and go, or the slight of hand. WTF is that anyway? And who teaches someone those bad handshake habits? Do they pull it out of their ass?

When I was a cop, by gum, you got a nice firm handshake and a look in the eye-IF and only IF I chose to shake your hand and did not believe it was unsafe to do so. I did shake people's hands at appropriate times and looked them in the eye, then dropped the eye to the torso. Why? Because it's like basketball. You guard someone on defense by watching the torso in order to anticipate every move prior to the body making it. 

Most times I shook hands, you ask? Yep.  How do I know what qualifies as a "most times"? It's instinct. Believe it or not, I did refuse to shake someone's hand many, many times. It is a safety thing. Cops are often leery about shaking hands in certain instances because it could compromise their safety and puts them in a position for someone to grab their weapon (worst case scenario) or attack them, gain an advantage over the officer.

Cops do not refuse handshakes because they are rude.

So this is all I have to say about handshakes: GET A GRIP.


Well Seasoned Fool said...

Something of a fad in the 70's was extending your hand palm down. The theory being that made you dominant and the person shaking palm up submissive. One of the many sales training B.S. tips.

My response was to take their hand,and vigorously twist it upright while demonstrating the grip you get growing up hand milking cows.

Sort of a subliminal, "don't f^%k with me".

Tennessee Grammie said...

Being a female in a male dominated profession for 36 years, I could size up a man at the first shake of our hands, and I was never proven wrong about that first impression of him. One important thing you didn't touch upon (for civilians) is to glance at the hand you are about to shake.

Now that I've developed arthritis in my fingers, a 'death grip' or 'dominance' handshake can be very painful, and if you are a man shaking my hand that way you may end up with a perfectly fine knee applied with even more 'dominance' in your private parts!

And yes, they see my Sweet-Southern- Lady smile when they can stand up again...

Old NFO said...

Yep, and it's worse overseas... talk about dead fish... sigh

Slamdunk said...

You will teach them a thing or two.

The young athletic guys always want to do the shake and chest bump thing to me the old guy. I have yet to adjust to that one.

Anonymous said...

OMG - I completely agree! Working with Veterinarians for so long - you just don't do the wet fish! Either you give a firm shake, or you're not trustworthy in their book. For me this usually meant squeezing as hard as I could; large animal vets have huge, strong hands. Now when I shake peoples hands they always seem surprised someone my size is capable of it - like I'm suppose to shake hands like a Barbie, or some such bullshit.
Now when I get the wet fish I see just how hard I can squash their hands, just so they learn how to man up. It usually works.