Evidence 101

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Friday, July 18, 2014

Bathroom Encounters of a College Kind

Those of you who do not follow The Boogie Man Is My Friend on Facebook might have missed out on today's fiasco in the ladies' bathroom. I thought I would share. You are welcome.


It’s been a long time since I have been in a public women’s restroom with a mother who brings in their toddler son. I don’t know why, but I just can’t get used to these incidents and they make me uncomfortable. OH. I.KNOW.WHY. Because of things like today…that’s why!

I am in my stall minding my own bitness when the mother goes to the stall on my left and the toddler boy, named Braden, goes to the stall on my right. His feet are facing me and over the “plane” of my stall wall.

Somewhat annoyed and keeping my eye for a head to pop out underneath, I try to do my bitness. Mind you, I have now lost my concentration. He had tan work boots on in toddler size which were cute, but alarming to look at as they faced me.

MOM: BRADEN, are you alright?

(clearly no concern of my wellness)

BRADEN: Yep, mom.

MOM: BRADEN, do you need help?

BRADEN: No. I just can’t see what this lady next to me is doing.

MOM: BRADEN! Go to the bathroom. Sorry, ma’am.

ME: No worries. [more uncomfortable as I am having a bathroom conversation while sitting on my laurels with complete strangers and the boots are still facing me]

I finished my bitness and was washing my hands when I heard:

MOM: BRADEN! Did you go?


MOM: Do you need help with your pants?

BRADEN: No. I didn’t even pull them down.

I exited quickly.


Well Seasoned Fool said...

Pueblo, CO around 2006, stopped to use the rest room at a gas station. The Fort Hayes State University Womans Volleyball Team was taking a break there. They had taken over both the Mens and Womens rest room.
What to do? That was a bunch of fit, 6' plus, women with attitudes.
Went Wyoming style outside behind the dumpster, coward me.

Coffeypot said...

Again, I would have stomped the little shit's pretty, brown boots. Then said, oops, I'm sorry.

Old NFO said...

At least you didn't have that happen to you in the MEN's room... sigh

Fire Pup said...

If that Volleyball team is bad enough to use the mens room, they can watch me while I use it too.

Slamdunk said...

Haha. I am still sort of in the bathroom adventures with the youngest. In my defense, I would not send kiddo to an opposite stall--we would use the same one and if eyes needed to be closed and heads turned, we can manage that. But still the conversation can be a bit awkward for those around.

Hope your weekend went well MF.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
ROFL...didn't even see THAT one coming.
(good lord)

Roll safe out there, Kiddo.