Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Must Love Dogs

If you have seen the movie, you are probably thinking, "Oh, Gawd, she is delving into internet dating. What the hell is she thinking? We.Must.Stop.Her."

But if you knew me, then you would know this post is not about that at all.

However, if I ever was going to internet date, I would like a ferocious statement with some pizazz. This, for instance is what came to mind in two shakes because I'm a little on the pessimistic side, having been burned. It might need some tweaking:

Single, heterosexual male with teeth, non-felon type. Single is defined as unattached, unmarried, not living with another woman-including your mother and masturbates on a regular basis. Has many guns that are not stolen nor acquired via black market. I like tandem shooting days. Must love dogs. Hair is not mandatory-will accept bald applicants-men, not dogs. If your dog is bald, you might want to seek out veterinary services. Good, stable career. (flipping burgers does not qualify unless you own the restaurant) Reads books a lot without a pocket protector. Likes funky new electronic gadgets. (not vibrators) Loves, loves The Walking Dead. Must love the country, fishing, the outdoors, and adventure. Skydiving test conducted. Humor: snarky, somewhat jaded, and sarcastic. Republican. Sex is optional. (just kidding right here, but I figure it might discourage some womanizers) Dare to contact me.(no pussies need apply)

I still have a good sense of humor. Never lose your sense of humor. My dad said never to trust a person without a sense of humor. He's right. Folks without a sense of humor are not trustworthy, plus they are no fun to hang around. I surely don't like working for those types.

I like MY snarky sense of humor. That's what matters.

Anyway, this isn't about Internet dating. It's about a dog. Bug and I found a tree for Otis at a festival we attended yesterday. It is a white pine-a little Wyoming and a little Indiana. It's a Charlie Brown tree, but he has a good leader and is a healthy fellow. He is just a little sparse. I had to have it and it was in the budget of $10.00. Bug agreed. She laughed at my choice.

Otis(white pine) was planted across from Bob (black pine tree planted for my dad) and it rained last night. Still missing my Otis. Really needed him this last week.

Bug went to sleep early. Moose snuggled. I watched old movies in the rain. Perhaps I might get that stucco job done when it isn't raining some day...

All is well.

Must love dogs.


Coffeypot said...

Except for the Walking Dead and Sky Diving, I qualify in all the other categories... oh... except for the marriage part. Since I am married to The Long Suffering Judy, I guess that's a problem, huh?

Besides, I'm not sure that I want to date (other than for sex) any dummy who watches a movie in the rain. It has to be uncomfortable sitting there in soaking wet clothes (or even nude) and trying to see through hair plastered to your face.

I anxiously await (with both hands free - for now) you answer.

Momma Fargo said...

Dearest Coffeypot,

Although you sound scrumptious, I will have to forego your offer due to the marriage part. Have you ever tried to watch a movie in the rain? It's quite divine, especially on a hot summer day. PS. You might want to wash your keyboard before proceeding.

Well Seasoned Fool said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Well Seasoned Fool said...

My ad?

"Have all your shit in one duffle bag. Everything else is on the table".

Momma Fargo said...

WSF-Bwahhha! Love your ad. It would be cheap, too. However online, I think they let you speak freely, so you can take off your briefness. Glad you are online again. Well wishes!

Ms. A said...

Just the thought of online dating is scary, because ANYONE can say ANYTHING... but that doesn't make it true!

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo,

I would qualify for all the parts except the marriage part...Now if I was Mormon..that would remove that exception also;)

GunDiva said...

I think that would be a perfect ad for online dating. Of course, this is coming from the woman who put "anti-gun, tree-hugging, bunny-lovers need not apply" on her online profile, so what do I know?

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
LOL...love that "classified"...and the comments within.
I'd have to say our senses of humor are too damn similar, but I KNOW I'm an only child...LOL
(sorry, almost-Sis)

That's nice that you found a tree that you named Otis.
It's coming up to our first year w/o our little "princess", and I still refer to our one remaining (male) cat in the PLURAL!
..."come get your din-din, KIDS"...OY!

Some habits ARE very hard to break..and some losses are just as hard to live with...believe me.

Very good post.

Stay safe down there, dear.