Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Monday, September 8, 2014

Poop Sh*t

Gag, gag, gag.

ME: BUG!  Why didn't you go downstairs and stink up that bathroom instead of this one? You knew I was getting ready for work!

BUG: Sorry, Mom. [giggle]

Man, nothing like the smell of poo in the morning. I know it is a natural function, but seriously. After letting the bathroom fog out, I got ready to go to work. I was running behind and arrived late.

About 0815, I was talking to the bosses when my right contact just popped out of my head and landed on my desk in the middle of our conversation. It was a Total Recall moment.

Gasps broke out and I was like..."Where's my contact?" I found it quickly.

What a freaky deal.

I grabbed the contact and my solution and ran to the restroom.

Gag, gag, gag.

Damn college students. I found one pooping in the bathroom at a moment when I had to stay at the mirror way too long. Are you one of those who has their mouth open while putting in your contacts? Yeah, that's me. I can't do it any other way. If my mouth is closed, I can't get the contact in. Sometimes I have my tongue hanging out to get it all up in there.

Do you know how hard it is to gag and try to put a contact in really fast, mouth open, tongue out... while someone is stinking up the bathroom? I think I almost tasted it.

Gag, gag, gag. 

I know it is a natural function. I know how hard it is to poop at work. But I didn't want it to permeate my eyeballs.

A short time later I had to go into the supply closet and it smelled like poop. I am sure the student worker went in there and shat himself. He kind of hunkered down at his desk when I roared, "PU, this closet smells like poo!"

Gag, gag, gag. 

What a poopy start to my day. Literally.

This is what I'm talking about...


Well Seasoned Fool said...


MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo,

I remember something from a long time ago..it is called a "courtesy flush" As soon as you drop one...you flush...prevents you from "stinkin up da joint"

Coffeypot said...

I can't help you at work, other than leaving and going down to the nearest service station. But at home, keep one of the fire starter trigger things in the bathroom. Light it when you poop or fart. It burns up the gasses real fast (and it will not exploded and blow out the windows or door if you do it at the onset and not let it build up.) Honestly it works. I know.

Coffeypot said...

Oh, and I am stealing the video for my Facebook page, thank you very much.

Momma Fargo said...

WSF...that's me...TMI. LOL

Coffeypot, thanks for the advice. I really don't have a problem. I don't smell. It's these other people with problems. :)

Momma Fargo said...

Mr. G...I will try to remember that! However, I don't smell. LMAO

Momma Fargo said...

Mr. G...I will try to remember that! However, I don't smell. LMAO

Momma Fargo said...

Coffeypot, I put it on Facebook for an easy share since I have everything on here protected.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
LOL...I hear 'ya dear...
(sounds like conversations Wifey and I have from time to time.)

And the video?

Roll safe (and no crop-dusting) down there.

Momma Fargo said...

LOL. Bob G.: NO crop-dusting down here. LOL. Poo is either really gross or really funny to talk about. It's a fine line. :)