Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Monday, October 27, 2014

Buggles

ME: UGGHHHGHGHGH! 9*Y#R)Y%)#*$P

POSSUM: [run scurry]

ME: [stomp, stomp, stomp]

open door to house.

ME: BUUUUGG!

BUG: What?

ME: You broke the windows in the barn.

BUG: No I didn't.

INSTANT PISSED OFF MOTHAH. NO MENTIRAS.

                                                                 Photo credit: Pinterest

ME: Yes, you did. Do not lie. You broke the windows while playing volleyball in the barn.

BUG: They were like that when I got here.

ME: I am going to so beat you. Look. Look outside.

BUG: There is no glass inside the barn so I didn't break it.

ABOUT TO THROW THE KID IN JUVIE.

ME: You are just digging yourself a hole by continual lying. We have talked about this.

BUG: Well, they were old. I cleaned it up.

ME: I can't even talk right now. Go do some laundry, dishes, and pretend to be Cinderella while I cool down.

BUG: Why?

ME: Because it is not a good day for me to go to jail.

BUG: OK. Got it.

                                                          Photo credit: Pinterest


)*^#%)*#&$#*$)@#*&_@#(*$&)@#$      Isn't type cursing so great? I'm still mad. More mad about the lies. I wonder if I could get Bubba soap hand me downs from prison to wash her mouth out. Nah. She would get diseases. But...I could tell her that is where I got it. Nah. That would be a lie, too.

#)*$^)#*&$)*#@&$)@*#$&*&#)$*&(*#      It isn't real cursing if it's symbols, right?

8 comments:

GunDiva said...

Yikes! She even got you speaking another language.

Hope you don't end up in jail for killing her.

(PS, I have a way worse liarhead. Way worse. A liarhead and a thief and a druggie. You only have one, I got the trifecta.)

Hugs your way.

Old NFO said...

Sorry to hear that... NOT good...

Well Seasoned Fool said...

As I said to mine growing up, "You are lucky there isn't retroactive abortion".

The Queen said...

The lying stage is the hardest to get through. Well, until you hit the lying dating missing curfew stage.. that one is a mutha too.

Coffeypot said...

First of all, take everything out of her room. Then, for everytime she lies, it is a night in her room without any entertainment other than homework. It seems that from your conversation above, that would be four nights in a row. If that doesn't work, a good beatdown is in order. If that doesn't work, make her stand in the front yard with a sign around her neck saying I AM A LIAR. If that don't work, beatdown again while tied to a tree.

Loco YaYa said...

ugh. the lying liar stage. we are smack in the middle of that. and mine is 9.

although I am trying to convince her that moms only ask questions because we already know the answer and want to see if you will tell the truth.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
She DID admit to cleaning it up (broken glass sucks when you walk around in bare fet...just sayin')
Still, playing VOLLEYBALL in the BARN????
(what was she thinking?...never mind, you're gonna tell me she WASN'T...lol)
And yes, top row cussin' can be "fun".

Roll safe down there.

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo

All the colorful symbols remind me having a conversation with a recalcitrant 737 at work....

The lying thing is a toughie..I have busted my kid several times for lying...That ranks a paddle. Or he loses an electronic gizmo....That seems to get them worse....just saying