Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Dicktionary Challenge

Hellllerrrr~!   Warning---this is not a post my mother should read!

                                        Photo Credit: Fargo, titled-The Nose Knows

Tomorrow is double duty of workouts at work. Then church. Then run. It's overkill. The next day is rest. Let's see what happens to the old bones. Actually, I am looking forward to it. It's like I'm in training or 29.

In the meantime, I have learned some new near south words. Yes, it's the language of love. I am all about being fluent in several language. I seem to be excellent at street slang. I can really stump them. I'm also eloquent with some native tongues.

So without further ado...

feeshing: spelled f-i-s-h-i-n-g--the sport of using a rod and reel to catch a pond dweller mostly for a dinner entrée.

nutsacking: spelled n-u-t-s-a-c-k-i-n-g--(1)the sport of taking your opponent out by tackling and buttheading the nut area. (2) Any shot to the nut sack.

boe: spelled b-o-w-l--a round basin used as a container.

impour  rent: spelled i-m-p-o-r-t-a-n-t (one word)--of great significance like a redneck's dog, truck, or beer.

Let me tell you about a terrible story. I am ashamed. However,  if I say it out loud as a confession, I can then repent.

Bug was mouthy today after work and called her mother a bad word (butthead) twice after I banished her to her room to clean the pigsty whilst taking her phone away. I reacted just as my mother had back in 1979 and grabbed the fancy bar soap off the sink, proceeded to grab Bug and rub the soap in her mouth, making sure to get chunks on her teeth. I don't think it has as much effect as Kirk's Castle, the kind my mom used because it was lavender with poppy seed. If the cops come, I am totally saying it was just as good as frickin' desert. She responded to my actions:

BUG: Oh, good! Give me some more! I like soap! {giggle}

I did as was requested. She laughed again.

ME: Hold on! I will go get the bar soap from the shower that I used on my butt.

BUG: MOM!!!! [screeching and running] You can't do that! [stops running]Hey. You use liquid soap in the shower.

Later after she ate her desert soap and suffered in time out, she joined me downstairs to watch Dancing With The Stars.

ME: Oh. I don't like it. Too jerky. They are slow. They need to speed it up.

BUG: Mom! Shh. The judges like it.

ME: Well, what do they know? They tried to recruit me on the show as a judge but I had to turn them down. I had too many commitments.

BUG: Mom, that is not true. That is bull!

ME: CHILD! Words. Did you learn nothing upstairs? Must I don my soap again?

And even later, I was busy with a project.

BUG: Mom, what are you doing with that stuff?

ME: Oh, it's a prize from my blog. I am just waiting for a couple things and the package will be complete.

BUG: Is the person going to like those things?

Mwahhahahahaha!

Yes, Commchick is going to LURVE it!

4 comments:

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Was once directed to the earl shed. I was looking for oil.

Old NFO said...

Ah yes, 'dialects'... sigh...

Commchick said...

My mother wore out quite a few bars of soap with my smart mouth, nothing I'm proud of but I was a teenager after all. I am waiting with baited breath for my prize and I'm sure I will love it. You and Bug stay safe out there!!!

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Coming from the land of "YO" (Philly), I made it a requirement to learn regional dialects and word "curiosities" (don't do bad with most Asian and European dialects, either).
Speak ANY language in broken English and we "can talk"...lol.

Mom always kept a bar of IVORY...good for washing, lousy for lunch, kapeesh?
And DAD preferred to rub my mouth with HOT PEPPERS...(yow!).
When I hit puberty,. I came to LOVE 'em...still do.
(language not withstanding)

Hang in there...you're doing a very good job.

Roll safe down there.