How can I explain teenagers? Um.....stand by.
For instance, tonight I got this...
BUG: Mom, am I your bay, or nah, bra?
*blink*blink* whiskey tango foxtrot *blink blink*
BUG: Mom, answer me.
ME: Apparently there is a language barrier or you are speaking gibberish.
BUG: Mom, I asked you a question.
ME: I have no idea.
So she explained:
bay=someone you place at the top of your list and put ahead of yourself
or nah=or not
brah=(brah not BRA as in over the shoulder boulder holder) it's like your bro
First of all, I can't speak this crap. I can't understand it and don't want to. I am like a mule with his hooves firmly planting while Farmer Brown yanks on the rope. Second, I am not a bra or a bro. I just checked to double check. Yep. And NOPE-I am not a man. I may have some masculine tendencies such as liking guns, fishing, camo, the outdoors, sports, beer, and maybe similar television shows, but I am all vajayjay oriented. I will stop there. Finally, I really thought she was saying ordnung, as in Amish.
I am just confused. This is only the beginning. Lord, help me.
ME: I don't bay or neigh. I am not your brah nor your bro. I'm The MO.
Yeah, that did not come out right either. I give up.
So, the confusion continued.
We were critiquing a man on television and his lack of wine sense. Bug said, "well, he is just drunk and stupid." I said, "well, that's not all bad. That's how you came about."
EPIC mother failure today. I think I will start over tomorrow. I'm just a momster. Oy. I need to stay mean and not try to be cool. Or funny. I was creepy funny today. And no intent there, either.
UGH! I'm starting to sound like CNN...someone help me....!!!!
In other news...my brother sent me this keeper Aunt Rita and Aunt Diane found at grandpa's...
Yes, I was an asshole. But a good aim at a young age. Snork, snork!