Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Fake Hill People

I know I should not complain.

I know I should move if I complain so much about a state being backwards. It's just not in the cards right now. Most of the state is great and I have some wonderful friends. There are these little doses of DUFAQ which befuddle me.

Today started out with a big pothole in the road of life with the house being very cold (61) and the heater is now blowing cold air and struggling to do anything. FMITA.

I go to work.

I get here.

The office manager can tell I am in a funk, so I start to unload after the question is posed, nice someone cared enough for me to vent. Of course, the conversation turns off my problems momentarily when she tells me she woke up to no electricity then talks of an ice storm of 1814 or something. The university never closed despite only one building on campus operating with electricity and heat, also dual purposing itself to housing stranded workers who have no water, heat, or electricity at home. I mean, dufaq?

First, I didn't get to unload my problems. It is no fun when someone acts interested or asks you a question and run over the top of you with their own agenda. Why bother asking me? Drat the offer of nice greetings turned into all about someone else.

Second, dufaq? This university is messed up. I believe that would warrant closing. Just last year the university panicked and closed for two days, then made all the students, workers, and faculty make up the days, citing the legislature made them. The representatives and senators made a public announcement that there were no such rules and had no idea what our university was talking about. It is not uncommon for the university peeps not to know the rules and regs of schooling. So weird.

Thirdly, then the story drones on and she talks about how she got up and had to put a toboggan on her head. I literally, out loud said, "What the fuck are you putting a sled on your head for?" I was really puzzled and I thought she had lost her mind. She says, "Yeah, a toboggan, and then I go out to the living room..."

I am still in the "what the fuck mode" of trying to comprehend wearing a sled on your head.I can't think further. My mind stopped.  I repeated my question. She got mad and charaded (that is a word) me. After charades were done where I figured out what she was talking about, I calmly said while having a Fargo snarl, "You mean a hat, a winter hat?" She said, "Yeah, a toboggan." I'm like...(in my mind of course, because three times surely would have made her cry and she was mad I was looking at her like she was an idiot as it was) a toboggan is a fucking sled and hat is hat. I mean who can't say hat? Dufaq?"

Really, people. It's not even an alternative use of the word. 

"I'm going to ride my hat down the hill." See, it doesn't work and only makes you sound like you are on meth or in some sort of psychosis.

Can people not learn how to speak English the right way? The right way. Wait. That's hypocritical of me since I make up new words all the time (see above: charaded=when someone speaks to you in pictures) Pot calling the kettle black. 

You know, it's my blog. I will rant about the weirdness of this conversation. I love my friends. However, I am seriously having issues with this jargon of Indiana. There are no hills here, so they have to come up with some other way to define themselves. Fake hill people anyway.

Update. In defense of "anonymous"...the SLANG word was entered online by someone down south as: 

Real dictionaries do not behold this definition. Why? Because it is a SLED. 


Tennessee Grammie said...

Cultural diversity can be taken two ways - a PITA or enjoy the idioms, customs, and ways that are foreign to you and laugh inside. Moving from the California coast to the hills of east Tennessee was a delightful education for me and 10 1/2 years later I'm still learning the 20+ different regional quips and quirks. They forgave me my flip-flops and no accent and embraced me with open arms. I find my mountain neighbors delightful and I love this region of the country. I've even become "The Widder Lady on the Hill" out in the forest mountains. My suggestion is to look and listen with your eyes and ears at a different angle and smile at the quaintness and don't let it frustrate you or you'll end up with high blood pressure from the stress. ;)

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Coming from the Right Coast (Philly) I though I heard 'em all when it comes to "quaint" sayings and words...
Not even close...
I'm with TN Grandma here...these idioms...most times, it makes me smile.
My guess is that "toboggan" (as it's used HERE) is one of those "Hoosierisms" (as I've come to call 'em) and is a hat people tend to wear while RIDING on that toboggan.

Sometimes it's diversity...other times..it's just plain SHOCK...lol.

Stay safe (and warm) down there.
I also thought it was only a SLED.

RussianBear said...

Methinks the word she was looking for is toque. A toque on her head makes a lot more sense than a toboggan. I mean you would want to wear a toque while on a toboggan. Maybe she had a toke, and mistook the toque for a toboggan.

Maybe it's a combination of toque and noggin. I mean, you put the toque on your noggin...so toqnoggin?

Single digits here...high of 10!


Coffeypot said...

I don't know where it came from or why, but I have heard a wool cap called a toboggan before. I used to have to wear one when I stood outside watches at sea in the winter. Warm little buggers. I love the different words or idioms from other places.

Allenspark Lodge said...

Turban. Turban on the noggin.


Anonymous said...

It is ya'll what talk funny not us. Merriam Webster defines tobagan: chiefly southern and midland: a stocking cap.
Down in these here parts a sled is what you would use to go down a hill. Such sled being comprised and chiefly consisting of 1. old boxes, 2. car hood, 3 anything flat that u can sit on.
I would expound in detail but I need to put on my LWD's ( long white drawers) Tobaggan and carhart so as i can go see if I need to bust the ice on the tank ( pond) so the heifers can get a drink.The I need to see about eating tonight. The youngin brought some orange co colers home to have with dinner tonight.

Momma Fargo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Momma Fargo said...

Tennessee Grammie...I don't get worked up about these things. I decompartmentalize the crazy.

Bob G...y'all talk funny round heyah.

Russian Bear...I like your viewpoints. And what a heat wave you have!

Coffeypot...you seamen are some strange fellers. LYLT

Allenspark...possibly. I am still trying to picture a sled on the head.

Anonymous...I embrace your funny talk but I am still going to look at you with wonderment and faces of dufaq. LOL

A. Nona Moose said...

You say tobaggan, I say sled. Tomato, TomAto. Potato, PotAto.

Ms. A said...

Does it offend you that I knew exactly what she was talking about? That's what we call them, too! For a second there, I had to try to figure out what your confusion was. LOL!

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Get even. Go all mountain man lingo on them.

"anyone seem my possibles sack"?

Old NFO said...

Never heard of that usage either... But then I've never used a toboggan... :-)

Momma Fargo said...

A.Nona Moose...I know. I know. I will stop being surprised at language barriers of the near south.

Ms. A. I still love you even if you wear a sled on your head! LOL

WSF...Oh..now you will get heads rolling. LOL

Old NFO..I am so glad I am not alone in this world.