Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Monday, February 9, 2015

Cloudy with a Chance of Rain is the New Black

I have been absent. Let me catch you up, then you will wish you were still behind:

1) I have been experiencing lots of pain. However, I decided I did not want to cry myself to sleep anymore nor wake up all jacked up. So I went to sports medicine/ortho doc...the best of the best. Yay, insurance! Not so yay when I get my copay. He quizzed me (drill down minus the drill) so much I felt like I was interrogated. At the end, I felt he was going to tell me I just had a hang nail. I was thinking maybe a pulled muscle, but later after his water boarding, he slapped up my x-ray and said, "Well, I did find this!" With his little pointer he showed me where I had a broken neck (at one time) at C5 and C6 which healed (not so goodly) and now has arthritis in the back, bone spurs in the front, and a degenerated disc between 5 and 6. He said it was a twisting injury. I thought I looked dead because it was just a skeletal view. I screamed, "Dude! Where's my face?" Not really. Then, I pinched myself. I was still alive. It was a fake picture of me. X-rays are fake. It's my logic. Roll with it. So...we could pinpoint to 1999 and it was not from my major car accident in 1995. It was probably attributed to my police work. Oh joy. So now...lots of physical therapy, drugs, massages. Then reevaluate. Surgery is the ultimate final answer. Beat me.

Many people have said I am a pain in the neck. Now, literally, I am.

2) Anthem was hacked. So now what? I am more worried about some asshat stealing my daughter's information and creating credit in her name than myself. Why? Because who is going to know? I now have to check all the time. I tried to put a block on her name and SSN and they told me she has to be 18. WTF? You are not helping me Experian!

3) French Lick Resort got hacked. Yes, I got a free complimentary visit. However, I had to give them my card number upon checking in for incidentals. Fuck me in the ass twice, you say!

4) Businesses are so afraid of fake people with post office boxes or terrorists posing as normal little fat ladies that every where I go, they don't want my post office box. Well, the post office does not deliver to my physical address and it will be rejected! Impossible douche canoes! Accept my address. I live in rural America, you fools!

5) I was sitting in the reclining part of my couch and when I closed the footrest, I shut the baby puppy in there. I am an evil moron dog owner! I felt so bad. Poor puppy! Bug screamed at me that I needed to pay attention and look before I closed my legs. I don't think she meant it like that, but I got her drift.

6) My boss said I have a black cloud following me. The assistant boss says I have a black cloud. Why do I see sunshine after the rain? Oy. Maybe they are right. Perhaps I am God's experiment on how much a person can take before they can't handle anymore. Dear God, I'm tough. You can stop now.

So what do I do? Carry on. Carry on. At first, I was very down in the dumps with all this poop shit thrown in my face and feeling sorry for myself. That lasted a few short days. Now, it is what it is. Time to deal with all this poop shit. I will busy shoveling for the next few days.

On a positive note...I think this is kind of cool...

Photo Credit: Facebook, Undertech Undercover

                        You can buy yours here: LINK
I did not buy one, nor have I used one, I just thought they were a smart and practical idea.

In other news...I used to look like that once.


Coffeypot said...

I like her 38's... and her weapon. You made the right choice, hon. Just look it straight in the face and deal with it. If not, it will get worse. And you have handled worse, too. You are an amazing lady... but don't stand beside me, stand way over there. I don't like lighting.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Only thing I've learned is to get up every morning and start putting one foot in front of the other. Somehow things work out.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
You and I have way too much in common, Kiddo...(the aches and assorted pains).
Still, it can always be worse (somehow)...but I'll be damned if some day I can;t figure out HOW...lol.
The hacking crap...we asked for i by NOT being out ahead of these cyber-jerkoffs.
Oh, was I supposed to notice the SHIRT, TOO?
Nice way to carry ANOTHER .40..bwahahaha.

Good post.
Hang tough and roll safe down there.

Ms. A said...

Ever taken a fluoroquinolone antibiotic? Those can cause injury without you even doing anything unusual! Fluoroquinolone toxicity is finally getting some media attention, not nearly soon enough, but the word IS getting around.

Old NFO said...

Agreed on the body issues, I know the whole pain in the neck thing... Only difference is I didn't break mine. Just 8000+ hours of flying...

A. Nona Moose said...

Remember, after that storm, comes clear sailing. Are you starting to check out females now? I told you a long time ago to join me in pitching for the other team