Evidence 101

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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Guns Should Not have A Strap On


The Harry Potter House is alive and well with lots of activity. It's a happy home. My homes have always been that way because I was raised well. Puppies are happy. Bug is happy. The Momster Fargo is happy. Yay! The Father even agreed to help Bug with some fancy shoes for her dress. He is on a roll. Maybe he will get that purity ring I have been telling him is important to Bug. If not, I will sell my blood to the Vampire Clinic to get it for her. It's been months now and no action. It makes me sad because it is so important to her. I have been researching and the top price is $149.00 all the way down to about $39.00 for sterling silver. He sent me a $5.00 ring which wasn't horrible, but I know it would turn her finger black because it was some metal alloy. I was like really? Your child isn't worth silver or gold? He sent 5 more examples which were all $5.00-$14.00. Dude, this is a lock on the kid's vagina. Put a hardy one on it. I think she deserves at least sterling silver and maybe not the top price, but at least $40.00. The most expensive ones look like these:
One example by Kay Jewelers I like

Another option by Reeds.com
I was very proud of her when she approached me about it and she was very detailed in her explanation why and how important it was to her. It was all grown up and I had to sit down and listen. Why? Because she told me to and it was that pertinent to her. I also found it refreshing that many kids in her school are doing this and maybe it will take over baby sex and drugs some day. Hey, if it takes a piece of bling for a child to proudly display their body pride...then I am all for that. Beast mode activated. I will have to keep working on The Father. I think it should be a father thing which is nicely presented to his daugther. However, if he fails, I will be the father again. How long do I wait? It's been 7 months.

In other non-related news...

Physical therapy put me under this week. Apparently deep tissue massages are necessary, but I felt like Obama's puppet. I looked like this:
Kikkerland.com Robot diffuser. I need one. It's the bomb diggety.

It was hard to move and very painful. I have constant headaches and my jaw pops. Many times I have woke up unable to move or I have slept wrong because the drugs knocked me out like a rag doll. Tuesday...I slept through my alarm, sent a serial killer drugged up message to my office manager, and hustled to work. She played the message for me. I was like, "Huh. It was clear in my mind." She thought I had been hungover and could not understand anything. All I got out of it was "arm" and I think at that point I was telling her I slept through my alarm. Strange. 

Monday's pain bled into Tuesday's pain and then I had all kinds of new issues. I think the man just moved all the toxins and knots around to a different place. During the therapy, I had many muscles spasms that he felt fascinating and it was a little weird. On my left shoulder, he found a huge lump and pushing on it sent me through the roof. I peed a little. He said it was the "giantist" knot he had dealt with in a long time. After he jumped on my back and performed some ninja magic, it hurt like a mother. 

"Does that feel better?"

"I'm supposed to feel?"

Two days later and I still feel like robo ex-cop. Maybe I need a hot tub treatment...

Kikkerland.com tea diffuser
I mean seriously...why haven't I discovered this tea diffuser before today? It is the cutest thing ever. I think I need this. Anyway, I get easily distracted. Squirrel!

I manage. It's all I do. In a week I will discover why my vision has declined so fast. Perhaps it is lack of sex. Maybe that's it. I should go get some batteries so I can see better. I am prepared for the answer may it be nothing found to I have two days to live. What would you do with two days? 

I definitely would not invest in one of these
Photo credit: cnn.com

Let me tell you the ways this is bad. Only some...because I could go on, but it would be the biggest wall of text...
1) It's dumb. 
2)Your firearm should not be dedicated to either or and no officer has time. Lethal only. Duh.
3)It's dumb.
4)If you bring out the firearm, it's a lethal situation. It's not pretend death. Duh.
5)Less lethal is dedicated in a dedicated shotgun, Taser, or pepper spray. An officer should not delay all kinds of confusion by which tool comes out when  in a lethal situation. It-THE FIREARM- is only ONE tool. That's it. The banger type of gun with real bullets. The firearm comes out in lethal situations only. The other stuff comes out in less lethal situations. The bad guy does NOT get pretend death with the first tap and real death with the second shot or any more thereafter. That's kind of cruel, right? Or at least dangerous for the cop.
6)Really? Cops have time for that crap? Lethal becomes muscle memory and brain recognition of threat. And you add in..."Dude, hold on, let me put a strap on penis on my gun and tell you the first shot isn't real if you change your mind, you can still live. If not, watch out for the second shot, it will kill you. And then I can say...PSYCH!"
7)It's dumb.
8)It was supposedly designed by a retired cop who was tired of all the people getting killed by cops? WTF. That guy is an idiot. I would like to tell him so.
9)It's dumb. 
10)NO. This is teaching bad ideas. One second to put that on to give the bad guy a pretend death and the cop is dead in the time it took to put that stupid penis on his gun. And if I am going to put a less lethal penis on my pistol, it better be fucking huge. Not really. My gun fires real bullets.

I'm sure the public will think it is super fabulous. I'm sure they will tell Little Johnny that the first shot won't kill you if you change your mind if you get into a deadly encounter with the cops. WTF! How many whiskey-tango-foxtrots can I have in this post?

I am going to go teeter totter back to my desk now. 



10 comments:

Well Seasoned Fool said...

There you go again, talking sense. Ruins the warm and fuzzy.

Momma Fargo said...

Haha. You only get warm and fuzzy twice a year. You get crazy once a month. I am now about bitness. LMAO

Daddy Hawk said...

If her dad doesn't come through, I'll chip in $20 towards the ring.

Momma Fargo said...

Aw..Daddy Hawk..that comment just made me have tears at my desk. Dammit.

GunDiva said...

Um...It's the self-love that's causing the loss of eyesight, duh. Masterbation = hairy palms and blindness. Isn't that what they used to say?

I'm not excited about the strap-on for the gun. It's dumb and only an idiot (wait - they're actually wanting officers to use this) would think otherwise. Dumb, dumb, dumb!

Ms. A said...

OMG, I love the "Love Waits" ring. It won't stop sex, but it might remind them to think first.

lotta joy said...

I would prefer the top ring if the black only went through the eternity sign without the "crosshairs" that would get caught in everything, including false eyelashes. huh?

Moving on....I become angry when a gun salesman gets this smirk on his face and whips out a PINK GUN, supposed to throw my ovaries into overdrive. Guns are for KILLING, not making a fashion statement.

NEVER put anything in writing, or on a recorded message, that you don't want used against you.

Old NFO said...

Hope you get to feeling better... And please be careful with the pain pills.

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo,

What Old NFO said, And I also will throw in some cheddar, let me know where to and how to send it.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Well said about firearms (but you knew I was gonna say that, right?)
Sorry that you're going through that pain thing.
Hood idea with the purity ring, too.
Perhaps chastity is making a comeback.

Good post & great comments.

Stay safe and keep warm down there, dear.