Evidence 101

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Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Being Obama: Executive Orders from the Country of Fargo

You are in control. Of everything you can control. You are not in control of things you can't control. Yep. Not very profound today, am I?

Sometimes it takes an act of getting back in the game to feel the game. I know it may not make sense, but let me clarify. Jujitsu. Even though my Bug continually tries to get one up on her mother and go "full on ninja" as we say...I am loving the class. We went hit for hit paired up with different partners and the instructors told me I was a sadistic bitch. Yep. That pretty much sums it up. I love to fight.

Photo credit: likes.com


Hit me more, but be ready for paybacks. My new partner and I got to laughing so hard with one of the instructors that we couldn't even work on techniques. It was a Fargo timeout. We talked about police work and I was invited to come observe and participate in the competitive classes.

We will have to see.

It sounds like jolly good fun. However, I have that neck issue. I really don't like being defined by an injury because I have been very grateful for a mostly healthy life. I expressed myself whichever way I wanted to and this put a nix on my boxing class and sparring. I'm pretty sure unless they let you do it in traction.

My hot doc is not so sure about even a little sparring..like the half way stuff, not full on sparring... and not too keen on my enthusiasm. I told him I would drop the boxing idea if he would up the jujitsu. I don't think you can bargain with doctors. He was not amused. Funny guy.

Maybe I can pull an executive order like Obama:

Photo credit: Gary McCoy
Well, I could because I am the boss of myself. Isn't it funny how people influence our thoughts, like doctors? LOL.


In the wake of world news and lack of action toward ISIS, I found some good cartoon funnies of the political arena. If you don't follow me on Faceplant, I thought I would pin them here so you could get a chuckle if you like them and if you don't you can have a snarl or a frownie face:
Photo credit: Pinterest

Better yet, if you remember my post about the strap on for guns (yes penis like), you will find a video on The Boogie Man featuring German cops making fun of the device most humorous. It's on Instagram from Rob Pincus, so you will have to watch it on Facebook. It's precious. Watch for the dolls in the background. It was brought to my attention compliments of GunDiva. Really worth the look see. I peed my pants. 

Does it feel like the Ferguson and Garner issue are on the back burner now with Hillary and ISIS taking up front line news? It's not so. Those issues still continue to brew. Silence makes me worry more and not less. It's like a puppy or a teenager. Quiet is bad. 

In other non-related news, I was chatting with a much older friend and I have to laugh about what we discussed about dating in later life (NO NOT ME-HER). Here's what we giggled about:

Things people share to get to know each other at our age or older:

1) How many meds are you on? What kind? What for?
2) Do your parts still work?
3) Send me your medical history and financials.
4) Is this picture of you from 1989 or yesterday?
5) Tell me about your family life and household drama.
6) Do you wear pants with zippers or elastic?
7) Can you still drive?
8) Do you have hair?

Photo credit: Pinterest

I told her I would have to add a couple more things in my questionnaires like: 

1) How many guns do you have?
2) Do you like to fish and hunt?
3) Do you have dogs or cats? If a man has cats, I have to worry. Barn cats? Crazy cat man? No, just kidding. How many? Too many can be a depression or hoarding issue.
4) Do you like to travel?
5) Are you Republican or Democrat?

Photo credit: Pinterest


In all seriousness, dating is scary and I feel like my life right now with my kiddo and my dogs is the place for me until later. If God hits me on the head with a prize, then so be it. Otherwise, I am just here. 

I will admit I have had fat days and skinny days. Right now, I am not happy with my health and I am working whole hog on it. The best thing is the neck feeling better and now I have a new energy about life. It really drug me down. Funny how that works. The mind is a powerful thing. I started marathon training again. Last night I had a setback and had to take a Flexeril for the first time in many days but this morning I feel great and all the tension is gone. 

Yes, it is like that.  I feel like a geriatric patient. On another note, on the blindness thing, we are still testing and testing and testing. It is not diabetes. One disease ruled out...a bazillion to go. 

Just remember...if you are single no one cares about what you look like or what you do. You can go to the range. You can go full hog on a bucket of ice cream. You can race in running events without working around someone's schedule. You make your own schedule or not, it's all up to you. PJ's are acceptable on weekends. You can go to the range. Dogs are good for snuggling. Batteries are cheap enough. You can go to the range any time you want without permission. You can shoot up all the ammo which is about to be banned or hoard it so you can sell it at a high price. It's like being Obama. Or something.

5 comments:

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
First off, hope the necj feels better.
Next...ROFLMAO over the pics...well done.
Next...You GET IT (100%)when it comes to a good outlook on life (problems notwithstanding...hey, we all have 'em. right?)!
Mext...Executive Order Fargo...love it! (and EOF sounds like a really COOL and OMINOUS acronym anyway)
You keep on keeping on, dear.

Roll safe out there & stay warm.

Coffeypot said...

I agree, mostly, with the slogan, except mine would be, UNLESS YOU PUKE, FAINT, OR DIE, KEEP G... BIRD. HERE BIRDIE,BIRDIE, BIRDIE. Not much of an attention span here. Just long enough to steal a couple of your jokes. LYLT +,

Well Seasoned Fool said...

#1 on my questionnaire. Are you bat shit crazy?

Old NFO said...

Welcome back! That's the Fargo we know and love... Scattershooting from the hip! :-)

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo,

I am glad to see you back and kicking butt:) I saw your survey that you would have a potential person of interest fill out. You have standards... We guys have a lower standard...."Do you have a heartbeat...? Own a Liquor store?" Guy humor there. I would be afraid to date in this world today. Too many coo-coo for cocoa puffs people out there.