Evidence 101

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Wednesday, June 3, 2015

How To Save Your Vagina

Sometimes I have my shit together. Like poop in a group. Other times, I think it is lined up, and it is like a dog who travel poops. What happens? I don't know. My brother reminds me of the loser I am quite frequently. He's not the only one that feels that way. Pretty much think it is my entire family. They might not say it, but I can hear in their voices and see it in their faces. That bothers me because I used to be different and have a different life. That's why I don't visit my family. Like ever.

Not really. It's because I am too broke. LOL.

Now I am struggling, but I feel an upward movement, just no one sees it but me. Oh, well. it's me that matters.



And those dang flat tires of life. They never happen at the right time. What is the right time?

I can't even get to the range. My spring and summer shooting times are so screwed up whereas I was there at least twice a week last year. Gah.

I'm a hot mess.

Not this kind...


It is nice to know that when life sends me lemons recently, I'm not a sour tart. At least I don't envision my attitude that way.

The food thing was regulated and now it is off kilter again with excessive peeing.

REE-DICK-YOU-LUST.

Now I am finding jogging or running outside is not convenient as I have to pee or poo every 20 minutes. If I am not in a gym which has a latrine a hop, skip, and a jump from my butt landing on the throne just in time...I am in trouble. And it is not convenient to go in your pants.

What the?

So I evaluated.

I have not changed anything. I have always drank 34 ounces of water and a pot of coffee before noon. Weird.

So I googled it. Duh.

It came up with, "How to Save Your Vagina." I shit you not. I didn't go there. Last I knew I did not pee out of my vagina.

More results yielded it could also be stress urinary incontinence during exercise which is common but not normal.

I refuse to believe it is the incontinence of life. I'm too young. NOT THAT AGE. Apparently, you can do Yoga or Kegel exercises to fix that.

So here was the other thing I found at The Caregiver Partnership. Yes, it's for old people. Like really old. Not my old:

  • Diet-Many people are surprised to learn that it is not only what they shouldn’t eat and drink that affects incontinence but what they eat and drink, as well. Here are a few recommendations that will help you with using diet to control your incontinence-
  • Drinking to much water-You need to find a balance between staying hydrated and drinking to much fluids.
  • Stay away from alcohol-Alcohol acts as a bladder irritant and can make incontinence symptoms much worse.
  • Cut out coffee, tea, energy drinks and cola-All of these are high in caffeine which is also a bladder irritant that will make incontinence worse.
  • Watch how much chocolate you eat-While you may hate giving up a favorite indulgence cutting back on chocolate can reduce incontinence.
  • Reduce citrus fruits, citrus juices and acidic foods-Once again, all of these items can make incontinence much worse.
  • Exercise-It has been shown that there are several different types of exercise that can bring about a significant reduction in incontinence symptoms. However, it should be noted that a doctor will prescribe exercises that are based on the health status and the compliancy of the patient. Here are some examples of different types of exercise that may be prescribed to treat incontinence.
  • Kegels-This exercise consist of the contraction and release of the pelvic floor muscles. The doctor or a physical therapist can guide the patient in how to do this. It has been shown that strengthening the pelvic floor muscles is especially effective in treating stress incontinence.
  • Cardio exercises-If you are carrying extra weight it does not only affect your heart and lungs but every muscle in your body. This includes the pelvic floor muscles. Many times the first recommendation that a doctor will make for their patients with incontinence is lose weight. 
Yeah. So.

So there.

I have issues.

I might also have a stress fracture or something goofy with my left foot on top of it, not the bottom, which causes me discomfort and is swollen. My foot has an erection.

And a bump.

I just keep running.

I took 4 days off and it felt great and then whammo! Yesterday. Poop. Shit.

Today it feels better.

I don't know.

It's not like I can keep running to the doctor all the time. How do old people do it?

Being a cop was so much easier than trying to be a regular person.

Like literally.

1 comment:

Bob G. said...

MOmma Fargo:
I was running down that "caregiver" list of things...GEEZUS H. TAP-DANCING KEERHIST!

No wonder DEAD people aren't incontinent...you'd have to be to avoid ALL that (good) stuff.

I try and ignore the little things whenever the body doth protest...like aches and pains, unless something stops working as designed.

I know I'm not the 25-year old invincible youth of steel (or similar strong metal) any longer.
I'm not more powerful than a locomotive...maybe a YUGO.
I'm not able to leap tall buildings in a single bound (I take the ELEVATORS now)
And I'm not faster than a speeding bullet (but I'm not shooting myself with that bullet, either)

Sure, it sucks...but it's all part of the big picture (which I don't even need my glasses to see these days)...
Only need the specs for those little things (that get misplaced).

Stay strong and roll safe down there, dear.