Evidence 101

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Friday, June 26, 2015

Wut, Wut? Applesauce and Pokery?

You gotta love Judge Scalia. People may mock him, but he is refraining from putting curse words down in history in his opinions with the most glamorous use of jibberish vocabulary known to SCOTUS. The man made me smile more than once yesterday. I would love to be a Justice for one day just so I could come up with some brilliant word phrases like he did as he spoke out in dissent of the ruling on Obamacare. I also have to admire each and every one of our SCOTUS Justices because they tell it like they see it, no holds barred. It's pure applesauce and interpretive jiggery pokery.

Wut?

So entertaining and I see where he is coming from. His verbage is right on my mind channeling.

Maybe he's been reading my blog and learning word mastery from me. I'd like to think so.

Wut?

If you happened to be watching Fox News at hours where no man is alive, you would have watched the France event go down in history with the Lt. Col. telling the Fox News anchors how he felt about the terrorist organization. You can say that on television?

Apparently, the sphincter muscles on all the anchors were shriveling up in haste as he said you have to fight back and described the reaction to the incident as "hysterical." He did not mean it was funny, but that it was a sort of news hysteria. From his gist, I gathered he didn't like the ISIS agenda being sensationalized because they want the word out and the news was doing it for them. He said you have to take them out (fight back).

Once he said it like we all feel, the anchors tried to smooth that one over by saying they had to report the news to the people and make everyone aware.

Wut? 

That is exactly what the Lt. Col. was trying to say...blowing things up for ISIS by promoting their dastardly deeds.

Shortly thereafter, they took a break and shut the poor man down. Of course, he got in an apology that "he did not give them what they wanted to hear", but he ended it with "it's the truth."

I know.

You are wondering when I am going to stop with the new WUT phrasing and lay off the B-12 crack. I can't decide if I should run it to death, or maybe stop there. I guess it depends on what spews from my fingers next.


Carly Fiorina

In other non-related news...where did Carly Fiorina come from? That woman is hard balls. I really enjoyed how she diplomatically lays it out on Hillary and the US issues. Although the HP family scowls at her (there are failure business endeavors along with triumphs), she is a very intelligent world analyst. I was amused when she compared herself to Hillary and said, "flying is an activity, not an accomplishment." Bwahahaha! Snort.

Wut?

I am pretty sure everyone is wondering what I did yesterday after work. Burning a hole in your mind, eh? (That's my Canadian Expressionism)

I went trap shooting. Ta da! So fun. Plus my buddy, the Tuminator was here from Wyoming and I brought him as Show N Tell. He is a great shooter and trap shoots all the time back home. Needless to say, the old farts lapped him up and adored him, plus he shot at the top of the bracket. We were all hosed by a cute North Carolina kid who was in the 100 club. He did not miss. He got to be partnered with me in the Protection Class and I apologized in advance. We had great fun.

So Fargo bragged to all the new guys about Ammoman.com and they all checked out my empty boxes I brought and agreed it was a top notch company. Apparently, they already knew about it, and declared they alternate buying from the club, online, and local sales.

And my shooting?

Suck. Excellent. Suck. OK.

Yeah. It was not pretty. My left shoulder went out and 'ol Tom (an 80 year old sharp shooter) said, "Kathryn, you gotta git yer elbow up."

I was like, "Tom, I don't have anything left. I can't raise it above my elbow."

Yep. I looked like a seizure patient trying to one arm a shotgun, but by golly nothing was going to stop me from finishing.

Then my glasses fogged up from the humidity and sweat and I was shooting blind. I actually did better.

I swear.

Then, in the truck, the Tuminator and I were swapping stories about our ailments and showing each other our bulging discs. The thing about cops, is we are always trying to one up each other.

Wut?

Yeah.

And then I told him we were ridiculous for talking about our ailments. Next it would be incontinence.

I have no idea how to explain how I went from 29 to ancient in about 2 years.

But at least I got to wipe gun powder on my forehead and drink it through the sink when I went to get some water to gulp down to ward off the humidity strokes we were getting.

And so this morning, I was Googling "how to get woman strong" and I was pretty sure my picture would come up. Close enough:

Kim Lyons


Me and Kim Lyons...we're like twinsies. The other link was something connected to caveman days ending with "ugg" because of the way I typed my words in the search window.

Yeah. Ugg.

Yeah. No.

6 comments:

Mad Jack said...

Trap shooters are an irascible, anti-social bunch. They get upset if anyone talks while shooting, and if you dare to break the rhythm of the game, you get yelled at by the other shooters.

Back in the bad old days at the Medusa Gun Club, the skeet shooters would, in the name of fun, torment the trap shooters. You see, the skeet field was adjacent to the trap field, so a skeet shooter could hide behind the low house and periodically steel a bird from the trap field.

Mind you, I would never do anything like this, but some did. One time I remember a trap shooter named Greg who took his game far and away too seriously. When a bird broke unexpectedly, he stormed off the field and threw his Krieghoff into the back seat, then sprayed gravel all over the parking lot on his way out.

That was a good day.

Mad Jack said...

Joke for the day:

Why do cavemen drag cavewomen off by the hair? Because if you drag 'em by the feet they fill up with dirt!

Ha!
Ha!Ha!
Ha!Ha!Ha!

I kill me.

Slamdunk said...

Yes, it is funny to see the Ivory Tower folks around here cringe when Justice Scalia says something. Too bad they don't reflect on what he is saying as they might learn something.

I bet you all were a hoot trap shooting. I think that has reality show potential. Ha, enjoy your weekend, MF.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
I'm with you (and Scalia) on this one.

And if you meant Col. RALPH PETERS...we're on the same page. I like his "style" of commentary (which happens to be spot on).

Carly is a VERY good candidate, although I'm thinking she won't get the traction she DESERVES (damn shame).

Trap shooting w/ a bum shoulder...okay, practice some ambidexterity & learn to shoot OFF-HAND...!
(WUT?)

LOL.

I dunno...the "ugg" looks easy enough on the eyes.
Maybe 'ya need some animal skin "daisy dukes"?

Good post.

Roll safe down there, dear.

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo,

25 years ago, I was the skeet and trap range master at Nellingen Barracks in Germany. I even have my own skeet and trap gun. Well I havn't fired in many years and several months ago, my friend Mac and I went shooting at the scouting base. Well all I can say is that I suck at it...I used to be good but now I suck...what can I say. I am qualified shotgun and Rifle through the NRA and I smoked the rifle course and squeaked by the Shotgun course. The instructors there told me that it is a common occurrence...you get real good at one discipline and the other one....well you suck. It is normal. Bet you shoot the hell out of Pistols and Rifles though.
I am having a hard time seeing you in an animal skin garment...that thought makes my brain cortex flip. ;)

Old NFO said...

Don't worry, you could out shoot me with a shotty with one wing... I TRULY suck with them!