Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Friday, January 15, 2016

Bug Logic

Driving home from a school function last night, the Bug was actively engaged in a conversation about proper attire, selfies, and how we present ourselves to the public. "Like, Mom, You shouldn't have put that selfie on Facebook with your red shirt on because it shows your boobs. Disgusting."

Fargo The Slut

"Well, I didn't mean to look like a ho. However, it was New Year's Eve and people kind of look ho-ish on those events. Sometimes. And. Ok. Nevermind..."

"Mom! Be respected of yourself!"

"...except your mother who should never dress like a hoe. Or be a ho."

"Mom. This is not a good conversation. You shouldn't talk to your daughter like that."

"Like what?'

"Like talking about hoes."

"They are great for gardening."

"Mom, you know what I mean."

She went back to putting her ear buds in and ignoring The Momster. Bug was sitting quietly in her seat for quite some distance (road miles) with her phone and headphones on listening to anything other than Eminem which I had blaring on the car stereo. Sometimes you just have to do it.  You have to listen to Eminem. Actually, that urge happens to me a lot. He's one of my faves. Color me hip hop crazy.

I actually got to sing at the top of my lungs or shout out to a few songs. I think I made Eminem proud. Then...she reached over and turned down the music. I looked at her. She looked at me.

With her headphones on she shouted at me, "It's too loud. I can't hear my music."

Well...la tee dah.

It is all about the child.

I decided to get down at a lower volume and not harass her for touching the magic of my Marshall Mathers. While I'm in the groove, my daughter nonchalantly piped up...


Me (not paying full attention but still banging along) "Yeah?"

"What would you do if I suddenly decided to become a stripper?"

"What the? NO! I mean you can be anything you want to be. No! What the hell?"

"Ha. Gotcha. I got you."


Teenager logic.

If that was not enough, she wanted me to try harder on winning the lottery. Yep. Think about that one for a while. Kids. Do they ponder life questions just to get a reaction out of parents or do those mind channeling thoughts really linger in their brains? Never mind. I don't think I want an answer.

Sometimes I wonder if they are smarter than the average bear, Boo Boo.


Tennessee Grammie said...

Lots of life's discussions as the vehicles covered the miles over the years and each one is a treasure. One of my favorites was when my son was about 6 years old and in first grade at a private Episcopal school: "Mom, do you know why people don't hear God talk to them?" "Why?" "They don't listen."

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo;

I donno her issues...speaking as a guy..I like boobs..Speaking of teenager logic, my son is trying to start a cult....I sometimes wonder where their mind works.

Coffeypot said...

I didn't get to enjoy much of my daughter's teen years (divorced, ya know). But I got to enjoy my grandkids and totally loved the shit that came out of their mouths. It is amazing and funny. You will miss these teen conversations one day. Make the most of them now.

Old NFO said...

Yeah, sometimes those 'left turn' questions DO wake you up, don't they...LOL