Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Monday, January 18, 2016

Lost In Translation

Take a moment, if you will, and remember the fallen officers from Utah and Ohio today, Barney and Cottrell. Officers (human and fur babies) are at risk of being assassinated-ambushed, killed during a call or traffic stop, while working on a highway/roadway, or by other means more and more. It saddens me. Moral compasses nor longer point north but spin around from some magnetic mind channeling interference called douchcanoeitis. It is becoming more prevalent.  Be vigilant.

For those we have lost, rest in peace.

The Harry Potter House is alive with fur babies and Momma Fargo today as I have the day off. I am babysitting two dogs. That is two plus three equals too many fur babies. Beat me.

Keeping Oliver ( Cousin It) in line is worse than herding ants with a toothpick. He goes from cute to trouble in 2.5. Oy.

Oliver The Terrible

Coffee is abundant. I might need to add Bailey's or Kahlua later. Blankies and books. Go me!

Today's selfie. Fargo blurred.
So amidst all this national sorrow and confusion...let me bring back one of the oldies to make you smile. Yes, I was snarky and really did talk like that-maybe too often. You just have to choose your audience to avoid trouble with the supervisors. You will find those who appreciate your sarcasm and those who do not. Eh, it's the way it goes-win some, lose some.

Here is a street find from a few years back...


Homeless people are some of the most interesting, dangerous, and crazy people we encounter. We have had several homicides, assaults, robberies, and rapes involving them as suspects. Desperate times equals desperate measures. Setting aside the violent crime, the most common criminal problem with them is their intoxication level and squatting.

Rounding the corner on routine patrol, something red caught my eye. I glanced over to see a backpack, sleeping bag, garbage, and a man. It was a business that had gone under so the building was empty and abandoned. I turned into the lot and called out on the radio. As I approached him, I could tell he got up on the wrong side of the bed...uh...sidewalk...or stoop.

He had bottles all around him, trash, and clothes. It was obvious he made himself at home.

ME: Good morning.

HOBO JOHN: Yep. What do you want?

ME: Really? It would be nice if you weren't drunk, stayed at the Mission, and didn't litter up my city with your bottles and trash. What's with the brown bottles?

HOBO JOHN: Vanilla extract.

ME: Ah. Better than getting drunk on Listerine.

HOBO JOHN: Listen, lady. I'm sobering up. I'm moving on. See that ridge on the horizon? That's where I'll be tonight.

ME: I don't care where you'll be tonight. You're here now. Can I see some ID?

HOBO JOHN: Yep. [hands me his ID] I have a warrant out of Indiana.

ME: For what?

HOBO JOHN: Public Intoxication.

ME: I'm so surprised.

HOBO JOHN: You don't have to be a smart ass, lady.

ME: Yes, I do. I received therapy for it, but it didn't work. My medication wore off two hours ago. Deal with it.

HOBO JOHN: All you cops are the same. I'm not bothering anyone. I'm going to college to get my master's degree.

ME: Oh, yeah?


ME: What are you getting your degree in?

HOBO JOHN: Psychology, addiction.

ME: Yep. Good field for you. So when do your classes start?

HOBO JOHN: Well. I'm taking classes by correspondence.

ME: Umm. Yeah. How's that working out for you since you are such a traveler?

HOBO JOHN: Good. Good. You don't believe me, do you?

ME: Not all. Thanks for asking.

HOBO JOHN: I am getting my degree, lady! It's in my head. The more I think about it, the closer to finishing my degree I get. Picturing it, visualize. Then it becomes reality.

ME: *blink*blink*

HOBO JOHN: It's true.

ME: Yeah. I received my college degrees by osmosis. Mostly from passing out on my books from an all night drunk.

HOBO JOHN: Yeah. It happens. I still think you are being sarcastic. You gonna take me to jail?

ME: You know, it's in my head. The more I think about it, the closer I get to picturing you in jail. Visualization sometimes becomes reality.

1 comment:

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You're so funny. I burst into laughter when you told him that yes, you do NEED to be sarcastic.

I'm wondering what happened next. I kinda like this guy, being as he's a graduate student - smiles. I hope you didn't take him to jail.

Have a great week, friend.