Evidence 101

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Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Steel Violence: A New Show

It's February and we have had 12 line of duty deaths since January 1st. January had 4 and February had 8. Double the trouble. Nine have been by gunfire. Yes, that is gunfire, not "gun violence".

Disturbing it is, but no one seems too alarmed by it except the police.

"It's just the price of business" many say. Who pays that price? The cops and their families. They didn't sign up to be killed. Sure, it's a danger of the job, but most all go home at night. Now those tables are turning and the thugs grow bolder.

Those same idiots are the ones who are seriously disillusioned by our vast societal disconnect. The problem is growing larger because we haven't been addressing the needs. Instead of putting medicine on that big zit, the media madness pops it and it spreads. So it gets labeled "gun violence."

The guns are not violent. They are a device.



The people are violent. They are usually serial thugs. Rarely does John Pop and Susy May go all up in the house and decide to go kill a cop. So what are we ignoring?

1. Mental illness and viable treatments or solutions.
2. Weak criminal penalties for repeat offenders and inadequacies in the justice system.
3. Lack of coping skills in our youth who are now becoming adults, thus adult problems.
4. Moral bankruptcy.

Shit ain't working, people.

I'm sure we could keep adding to the list of deficiencies. Funny thing is they don't include malfunctioning weapons or manufacturing blunders. Steel works just fine. It's the operator error which should have people concerned. So the solution? Let's take them away.

Fargo: Ok. "Mr. Bad Guy About To Shoot Up The Restaurant, let me have your piece! or Hey, Thug, let me have your heater! Yeah, you. The heater all hidden up in your junk. Give that to me."

Sen. Carl Levin: Nope. You can't do that. But I do know that normal law abiding citizens with carry concealed permits are turning fender benders into all out catastrophe.

Fargo: Huh?

Sen. Carl Levin: Yes, ma'am. Tragedies all over the place.

Fargo: Shut the fuck up, Carl.

Guns in cars are creating chaos on the highways.




Sen. Richard Durbin: Fargo, really. We don't need to get all crazy. You are so disrespectful.

Fargo: It's a meme. Haven't you seen those on social media?They are usually referring to the military memes with the poor dude named Carl which started in 2013. I can't help it if the shoe fits.

Durbin: No, sorry. I don't even know what a meme is.

Fargo: Well, he makes as much sense as the Pope did when he said it was unChristian to build walls. Did you know there is a street in Casper, Wyoming, with your same last name? It was named after someone more important than you, however.

Durbin: Let's talk about the real issues. When the equivalent of an entire classroom full of kids is killed by gun violence, it underscores the need for common-sense, effective gun safety measures that respond to the level of violence in our communities.

Fargo: Who is this Gun Violence person? Let's go get 'em. I don't even know what you are saying. Of course everyone values the life of small children or any child. One is the same as a ton. How are you protecting them? Did you do something after Sandy Hook? Did you put more school resources out there? More cops? Security? Did you lock the schools? Did you arm your teachers with knowledge? Did you screen the disturbed and creepy kids? What?

Durbin: Acknowledging that gun ownership is a basic right does not absolve us from the constitutional and moral responsibility to protect innocent children.

Fargo: Do you realize how uneducated you sound? Of course they don't go together like peas and carrots. Gun rights and children? Now you are mixing the responsible owners with the burden that they are not protecting our children because they rally for their 2nd Amendment? Or do you think we can amend the 2nd and get rid of it because it will save children?

Rep. Pulosi: We don't want to take their guns away. We want them registered. We don't want them crossing the state lines.

Fargo: Just to be clear. You don't want the gun owners crossing state lines or the guns? So how many times did someone from Wyoming go to California and shoot up a school?

Rep. Nita Lowery: Either the laws aren't sufficient or the laws were broken.

Fargo: Brilliant. Ok.



Ms. Lowery, Let me address the other concerns brought up by your constituents. You guys like the idea to label people unstable and mentally ill in the NCIC system and mark them with the ATF background check nifty swifty computerized checks. I'm not even going to go to irrational idea that we all turn our guns into the local cop shop. So back to the mental issues.

How unstable is unstable gotta be? I'm all crazy. I bet I can decide whether or not to use my firearms for their intended purposes for hunting and protection.

You know that The Hulk was once a normal man and then went bonkers and turned into a green crime fighting machine? But he cost the city a lot of money. Can he have a gun?

Rep. Nancy Pulosi: Not that kind of crazy, Fargo.

Fargo: Ok. Your kind of crazy? (snork-waves her off) I'm just kidding. But I have seen how you hold a firearm. Scares the shit out of me. Let's just disqualify you upfront because you have had a mental breakdown and by the way you hold a weapon, I can tell you are scared shitless of the things and appear to be very unsafe. You are going to make some kind of rash bad decision.

Pulosi: I would have to disagree with your behavioral analysis and you aren't qualified to profile me.

Fargo: Whatever. What kind of meds and how much? Can I still make those super awesome brownies that I pass out to the kids with the green garnish? How much meds? Huh?

Pulosi: We would have a specially qualified physician carrying out these orders and signing off on the paperwork.

Fargo: Which doctors? Since you are all proper and certifiable we should use a psycho-chiatrist. Yes? What kind of tests? Can they predict if a perfectly good person nuts off or if someone is going to go postal in the next five years? How long is the ban good for? What if they pass the good behavior time and the ban is lifted, then they go ape shit crazy and take out half of Manhattan?

Pulosi: I am not certain at this time, but I can have the committee get the information at a later date. You are making a mockery of perfectly good legal sense with a viable solution!  Just to be clear, you can add to that we will make manufacturers accountable for making weapons of death.

Fargo: You realize the purpose of a firearm is death, right? I don't point it at the ground and make people dance. I'm not into scaring people for the fun of it. I surely don't want to give my deer any more head start than he already gets by nature. When I shoot a snake, I want it to be dead.

Pulosi: (blows her nose and sobs uncontrollably)

Fargo: Ok. Apprently, I upset you. Do we need to get your meds? Here. Let me distract your anxiety with another question. Would that person be labeled in some system for the rest of his or her life? Would he or she be prevented from certain kinds of employment?

Pulosi: Um. (sniffling)

Fargo: I like your necklace.

Pulosi: (honking sound in Kleenex) Thank you.

6 comments:

GunDiva said...

I do love you and all your imaginary conversations. Too bad you don't get a real crack at the politicians.

lotta joy said...

What pisses me off is the attitude dah dude has against the pOlice, but let Shaniqua go all wildebeast on Tyrone's head and the pOlice are the first ones he calls for HALP!!

What pisses me off on the other hand *dripping hands here* are the politicians demanding gun control while their kids are being kept safe by heavily armed SS, snipers on rooftops, and bulletproof glass in the limo.

Old NFO said...

It's coming down to us against them... And they DON'T want us to defend ourselves... sigh

Well Seasoned Fool said...

The Main Stream Maggots, or drive by media if you prefer, love to bash cops and firearms. Some lines;

"Unarmed teenager"
"Epidemic of gun violence"
"Nation once again reeling from another mass shooting"

Me, from an actual conversation.

"We are a nation of 316,000,000 million people with about 71,000 firearm deaths per year. 71,000 out of 316,000,000 wouldn't make a pimple on a statisticians ass".

Cheryl said...

What a great post, Momma Fargo!! Taking a serious subject and working it with great humor.

I have had it up to my eyeballs with the negative media coverage of police interactions...not even just the ones that relate to guns. A cop today can't pull someone out of a car without being labeled "using excessive force". Why is this asinine attitude of making the police "the bad guys" escalating? This country has lost it's way and I am seriously worried how we can get it back on track.

I love your point about "the purpose of a gun is death". Why don't people get that?

Again..great post!! Wish I personally knew a politician to roll it over to. BUT I try to steer clear of slimy people.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Well, you covered ALL the bases very nicely (and with a marvelous social pungency...LOL)

Amen to that!

Roll safe down there, Kiddo.