Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Frog Days

It's one of those frog days. A frog... on a lily pad...in the rain... in a pond... alone. Only I want the human version. I want to be home under the blankies in my jammies with my puppies by my side. Perhaps a Netflix movie on the screen while enjoying the gentle rain outside...with no human interference. Is that too much to ask?

Just say "no" to humans.

See! Wasn't that easy?

I just need a break. Universities are full of humans. Too many of them, to be exact. And they whine like a bunch of June bugs on a hot May night. Continually. Non-stop. Even if you give them a cookie. They still whine.

Behind me at my desk is a big wooden sign that reads, "Call Your Mother." They know I absolutely mean it and once they begin their spiel, I point. They stop. Lesson learned.

Maybe I needed that sign on my forehead when I was a cop.

Excuse me while I tend to the lilies...those delicate little flowers. Sigh.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Pledge

HAP HAZARD: What's insane is a pledge is a vow of your word. You can't just break it like crayons.

FARGO: Unless you are a politician. In that case you can spin a yarn in any fashion you please and pretty soon you have convinced the masses to join in a cluster of devowing your vows. 

HAP: What hark! is Fargo muttering about?

FARGO: Well, of course, Trump's new declaration to take back his pledge of loyalty to the Republican nominee if it isn't him because he has been unfaired. Now do I give a rat's ass about a pledge? No. I think it was everyone fishing around to see if he would go third party if not supported or if he lost the nomination. Then, it became this BIG THING. *shudder* A pledge. It isn't like the Gospel for Pete's Sake. 

HAP: Well, it is giving your commitment. Why can't we just play by the rules?

FARGO: Why? Because if Nellie Olson doesn't like the rules, she can change them to suit her. Right? This is all so silly and full of hair flips. It is our very fine government at its very finest process: chaos and bupkus. 

HAP: A pledge is a vow is a promise is an oath is your word, blah blah.

FARGO: Maybe Trump got confused. 

HAP: There is a lot of attention on Trump with the assault charge against his campaign manager, the GOP trying to railroad him, and the like. I think it is all pitiful. He gives plenty to unhinge him on, but we have to pick the stupider and ridiculous and make something out of nothing? 

FARGO: Fuck me in the ass. 

HAP: Well, you know my wife won't do that so...

FARGO: Shut the fuck up. It was an expression. 

HAP: Yes, I know.

FARGO: I was not pledging my booty to you.

HAP: Well...uh...I know...but you scared me...ordering me...forceful voice...anger.

FARGO: Get yourself together. You are being dumb. 

HAP: Talk about dumbing down America, well, this takes the cake. This is really dumb. Let's get to real issues, shall we? Or can we? We've been asking for it for some time now. And what about poor Hillary in the midst? She skates by another time. I think we should start conspiracy rumors about Trump and coverage theories about Hillary. 

FARGO: I just can't figure out who she is sleeping with to get away with all of this. Maybe several. It just gives me visceral images I don't need to endure. 

HAP: Nasty.

FARGO: Someone hand me some sticks so I can poke my eyes out!

HAP: Egads, Fargo. That was in poor taste. 

FARGO: I got visuals, dude. 

HAP: Whatever. I think we all need to take pledges more seriously and your word is your word.

FARGOI, Fargo, under God, solemnly swear to pledge my sarcasm to the world, and give it freely to the masses who ignore it and declare to make a stand for one nation very divided, with liberty and justice for us all. 

I will stand by this because I have love in my heart. Do I need to sign it in blood? I'm not very good around needles. Can we just pinky swear?

HAP: Fargo, you're so weird. 

Ice, Ice Baby


It's a word in law enforcement.

It means you are "told or ordered to do something but the appearance to the masses is that the action or duty is voluntary." We love it. It's bullshit. I guess it is something that has to happen when duties need to be assigned or someone is told they must resign. We could all see through that smoke and mirrors and of course, as the grapevine goes, you would find out the truth.

It happens in every LEO agency. It is the way of paramilitary. This goes on behind the scenes every day.

Most of the time if we were given an assignment or duty we didn't volunteer for, we would oust our administration by saying it was malarkey that we had to do the duty by force. On the other hand, the administrators thought it was malarkey they had no  volunteers. Sometimes they didn't ask. Sometimes they offered but got no takers.

If someone was forced to resign, they usually made it sound like it was a glorious intervention in the middle of the night by someone visiting them at bedside and wallah...they got the notion to quit. My dying ass.

This is all separate from officers quitting in haste due to a disgruntlement, personal reason, or health concerns. This is not by choice...really. It's "one of those things."

You did something super wrong, dodo. Don't think we can't all see through it. The public never knows. They mourn the loss of a veteran retiring or never know when an officer moves on to another job when they aren't well known to the community. All of that cloak and dagger information is personnel super secret employer stuff which can't be public. But the troops know. And that is what matters. To disappoint your own, is the ultimate shame.

As I watched these manifestations reach the surface to that breaking point, I was never surprised. In fact, most of them should have been voluntold to leave long before the last straw. Most often, they should have been disciplined or fired long ago, but a department wants to rehabilitate that person into something they won't be. It's that positive notion that we are all inherently good. Yet, some people just can't change just like you can't change the spots on a leopard. These are reminders that we must always keep ourselves in check and follow the rules, be good persons.

Forced assignments are different than a forced resignation. One, you still have a job. Two, it's temporary. Being voluntarily fired is permanent. Think before you do something against moral code, policy, or break the law.

Duh. You are cops. I know, right?

Well, some are not the brightest crayons in the bunch. And sometimes cops make mistakes just like any other human.

But we all know that circle of action and reaction which comes around. Karma-she is a bitch. And we all hate Karma. Nasty woman.

Well, we all make errors in judgment. We just hope they are not career defining ones.

As far as being assigned to a crap duty or an undesirable task...you do it, move on. Do it with a smile and you might not be chosen the next time. Whine about it and you become the supervisor's target. One time, I told my sergeant to "fuck off." I didn't even preface it with "with all due respect."

It was a turning point in my career where I stood up for myself and didn't let the boys pick on me anymore even though it was an ordered duty by a supervisor. I was a rookie and constantly given the shit jobs by a bunch of male bullies. That's how it rolled back then. It made me stronger.

I thought that day I would be fired and, in fact, did hold my breath and wait for the moment where he turned red and got lines on his forehead, but my sergeant just laughed and said, "Alrighty then." He did the duty himself and never bothered me again. AND...he respected me from that day forward.

Odd. Mysteries. I never talked about it again nor inquired why he didn't write me up.

Now I would never recommend anyone do that and I would say I was pretty lucky. Plus, I was a girl cop back in the day when there weren't many of us. I'd say the boobs saved my soul and my job at that moment in time. They just didn't know what to do with a snarky bitch.

So now you have the rest of the back story.

I might be doing one of those drive by posts about nothing at all except to remind us all to be on the up and up. It's me being passive aggressive. Yep, here we see Fargo in her natural habitat of acting like a girl.

Oh, I made my fair share of mistakes, but I would never run another over to further myself. Nor would I be nasty or downgrade someone else just to glorify myself. It wouldn't sit well with my guts and I have pooping problems as it is.

We must all remember that we are no better than our brothers.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Social Diseases

Thought I was going to talk about STD's? Or one of the Hemsworth boys? Guess again. 

Today is all about platforms. Platform shoes? 

Right now...while I'm talking about this topic...picture me wearing these.
Wait. Don't do that. I would fall down.

Socio-economic problems are one of our worst family issues in America. No, I am not talking about dirt in the vagina.

The OTHER social problems. These matters put all our children at risk. Yes, poor people can overcome poverty to reach their goals. Poor people can become super great. Rich people can be bad. Kids in Middle America? I'm a product of that and it doesn't exist anymore.

If rich people get derailed on the road of life, what or who do you have to blame? Parents? Environment? The Person?

Yes. These three factors in the general sense of the words are equally shaping a person and is true for all Earthlings and may have an affect on their life outcomes.

But poverty adds in a financial crutch to the equation.

What social issues go along with poverty? A half dozen problems I can imagine...

1. Lack of opportunities
2. Criminal activity
3. Different educational experiences
4. Moral commitments
5. Health issues and obesity
6. Continuation and cycle of poverty in families

I do not have a scientific degree or any clinical research experience to back up my claims. These are just observations from the job which come from field experience. I don't care how you want to sugar coat social services, welfare, availability of vocational education, or the internal drive of a person...you can't put lipstick on a pig. You just can't.

Many of what is ingrained in our kids is derived from nurture and nature. What is taught...what is environment........both impact their outcome in life.

Believe it or not- it's your choice. 

BUT- don't fool yourself by saying it's all the same for every kid. It's not. And if a kid becomes something super great from any walk of life...you have to look at their inner strength and drive and how they were raised.

Why is there such a disparity? 1. Is it the provocative racial epidemic? 2. Is it money driven? 3. Is it geographical? 4. Is it generational?

It might be all of the above.

Solutions? I can offer a dozen.

1. Get fresh food into the poor neighborhoods and stop making junk food so easy. Exercise.

2. Get your family to the dinner table. Clean your fucking house. Give the children chores. Teach them to do household tasks, but don't make them slaves to your home.

3. Stop giving so many handouts and making it easy for parents to sit on the couch.

4. Get the kids outside playing in the sunshine.

5. Encourage all kids to learn the basics: English, math, science and graduate from high school. 

6. Make vocational training mandatory in welfare families for parents with deadlines to landing a job. If a job isn't landed, cut off the benefits or decrease incentives. They need a timeline to completion. 

7. Reward the kids based upon merit with scholarships to college or trade school, and encourage others for military opportunities or learning a trade. Pick one. Do it. Finish it. 

8. Community partnerships and neighborhood commitments must be in harmony to lift up the rational pursuit of self-interest and pride in poverty stricken areas. Programs, parks, and facilities need to be built into the neighborhoods. Nice apartment dwellings for low income isn't fixing any problems. They just look nice. It is one solution to provide safe and clean housing, but you have to tackle the other social problems along with it. Urban development in cities must be focused on destroying condemned buildings, raising building and landlord codes/regulations, and dedicating funds for driving neighborhoods into improvement. Code enforcement and programs to assist home owners must be in place. 

9. Fix the justice system inadequacies and the current state of perplexities. Laws need to be amended and sentences need to be fair according to the crimes. Prison sentences have to be harsh and carried out with follow through from corrections. Plea deals have to be for best interest of justice with rehabilitation a key factor. Whether this is by prison term or job corp, or service...there must be mandatory minimums with no good time. Make probation and parole structured and designed for an increase in successful outcomes. Make agents accountable. 

10. Investments both financially and emotionally must be dedicated for these projects and invest in our children as parents and a village. 

11. Stop giving our kids stuff and give them substance. (Not the illegal kind)

12. Get cops with selected personalities to blend in these neighborhoods to make a positive impact on crime and develop relationships with the kids. They need to be committed to patrol all neighborhoods and combat the social and criminal problems. It's community policing at its finest. Bring the programs to the neighborhoods, don't expect them to come to you. Squash out gang activity. 

These are no easy tasks. 

Now is the time to change the new generation of children for the better. We can't keep escalating these social problems, although I see it being inevitable in this generation of entitlement we have created. I'm about to bust a nut and I don't have any.

Egads. Ugh. Gah. Fuck.

We have seen what has happened over the last few generations. This case is just a prime example of all these problems blended into one horrific death. One child's death is one too many. Additionally, neighborhood crisis hits big city areas and targets young children with criminal enterprise and gang shootings.  I know gang violence all too well as my nephew was killed by a gang member while on the street corner in Omaha many years ago. The reason? The suspect said in court, "He looked at me the wrong way."

Each time a generation transforms to the next, the next generation tries to make up for or correct the last generation's mistakes or shortfalls. That's a mouthful. I hope it makes sense. These corrections or extras are not always a good thing. Technology has impacted our families. It's up to us to make it work for us instead of against us.

So what's in your basket of ideas?

Monday, March 28, 2016

Thugging On Social Media and Virtual Reality

Does social media wear you out but you feel it is a great way to connect? I have those issues. We expose our inner thoughts to the outward world and push "post". So happy there is sometimes a delete button but then again, there are times I should not post those inner thoughts.

When I was an officer, I started my Facebook page in 2009 and it was pretty inactive. It was about three years later the department came out with a policy and that changed all of us. We really had to watch it.

Then one day in 2013, I moved to another state in the near south and  I was a cop no longer. I used social media somewhat and then it exploded in use around 2014. The gates of Fargo hath opened! All hell broke loose and so did my mouth through my fingers. Then I reigned it...then I let it out. It's kind of like the Kentucky Derby now..balls to the walls.

It's a daily check in. It's a crutch!

But then I might miss something. Oh, I have to share this! I am so tired of people telling me they are throwing up. Visuals! No food pics...I'm hungry. Wow, they look great! Oh, cute babies! Someone died. Erg. Selfies! 

My blog favorites! News. Oh, the world is going to hell in a hand basket. The Rock. Hot. Tom Hardy. Drool. Kardashians! Ick. NOOOOooooo! Another fallen officer. Ugh. Protesters. Gun news. Latest and greatest reviews. False narrative agendas all over and divisive society. Cute bunnies! Oh, look at that puppy. 

See how that works? It's internet crack. How would we live without it? Don't you wish you could go back to the good old days sometimes?

Yes, I sing this at the top of my lungs in my car and I sing..."good dope days." Why? I'm thugging. So it's virtual...so what? It's not real? But it's on the internet. I sing it. It must be my inner thug channeling?

That way I don't get to wear an orange jumpsuit and feel like shit afterward.

So I wrote this piece. What do you think?

Sometimes I should tone it down on social media. But then what fun is that?

Friday, March 25, 2016

Dream Crushah

You can't get the song out of your head with the new words, can you? Hah! And the only words you know are Dreeaaammmm Weavah....nah nah nah get me through the nighthight! It's been too long. Like since 1972.

Yes. I thought so. You're welcome!

Entitlement. Those silly yoots. We have a wonderful study abroad scholarship program. Apparently, I crush dreams. Why? Because some students were not chosen for an award by our committee or we didn't give them enough money and they expected more and things.

We give out thousands in US dollars for study abroad programs to our students each year through endowment foundations. Somehow students have it in their minds that we give money to everyone in buckets and we throw fairy dust too. Egads.

It's an award. A super nice wonderful thing. They are chosen based upon GPA, merit, essay contest, letter of recommendation, financial need for funding, etc....blah blah blah. You earn it by following the rules and writing good and getting good grades and if you need funding. Why? Because we don't give extra money for them to make money. It's for a good cause. If you already have the funding through scholarships and grants, you don't get your souvenir money provided by the university. Duh. I love them all. They are really good academic students. But... SPOILED.

Love Hurts...wah wah.

All I'm asking is that they be grateful and not entitled and not spoiled. I know, it's a lot.  But I can offer consolation cookies to the losers. Every one gets a prize!

We do have our grateful nice mannered ones and they make all the oh shits and crushed dreams go away. 

Yes, that is a selfie in front of the wash machine.
Yours truly taken by myself with an Iphone 3, still partially working and not totally antiquated. Nice grainy picture, no capability to send as a picture message. See it. Love it. Deal with it. It's paid for and I'm too cheap to get a new phone until this one completely dies. You get Fargo fuzz. Don't worry, it's not your vision going to hell. 

It's Easter Weekend! What does that mean to us Christian folks? Jesus is sprung, He is riz! 

Yes! Go, God! 

Easter is super special for me, not only because of Jesus, because I have always felt closest to God during this time. I don't know why. Ever since I was a kid. Yes, I do enjoy Easter Bunny specials including Cadbury Creme Eggs and especially my new nifty rocket. 

It has also been my church tradition to attend all the holy week services. My maternal grandmother passed on Easter at the age of almost 95. I think that was for a reason. Not that she died, but that she went on Easter. She always brought me closer to God in her non-forceful way but by showing love. Her kindness and world teachings- I will carry with me forever. 

And now on to some other non-fun and non-Easter-time news...the reign of terror has begun! Yikes! ISIS (pronounced iz iz) has made a muck of things. I was told today by my liberal friends that a nuke plant was supposed to be targeted (had not heard that yet in the news) and many arrests are going on around the world. Well, I kind of know the secret spies work while we sleep. Thinking about safety around the world really gives me a headache. None of us are really safe any more. These strikes could happen any where at any time.

Prepare the horses! We ride tonight! 

Ok. Maybe not quite yet. 

I'll go back to hammering out a groovy looking shield. 

I'm all feisty because I was treated to Batman v. Superman in 3D last night. It got me pumped up. I'm ready to rumble. Great movie. Loved it. It was very complex. There are several cameo roles by famous actors and actresses in here. Good stuff. Fargo approved! So see it if you dare.

Have a very Good Friday and a very Happy Easter! Go God!

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Grandmother's Skirts

Opening line to those who shield themselves from reality: Stop hiding behind your grandmother's skirt. Reality is not always positive. We sometimes face negative forces. How you chose to deal with adversarial circumstances says a lot about your character. Being positive around negativity is a sign of inner strength. Or you could read this and die laughing...

Take, for instance, the US Court squashing an appeal to Colorado's magazine restrictions. 

This decision could be taken either way depending on what side of the issue you support. I could say it is a mark in the negative for gun ownership and gun rights. Many would say it is victorious for gun control. How do I handle this? I could abide by the restrictions or choose not to live in Colofornia. The choice is ours to make. There is an alternate number 3: appeal. Appeal to the masses? No. Appeal to the higher courts? That would be a choice. Or we can all lay down and let it go.

Let it go...let it go...

Stop, Elsa!

Why let it go? It's a dumb law. I don't like dumb laws. It stops nothing! It does not help any prevention of mass shootings.

Well, all I can do is shout out against the stupidity because I have no vote in Colorado nor any pull in Washington. Bless those coppers and sorts who are trying to get this law repealed. I just think it was a waste of taxpayers' dollars and legislative time and YET IT PASSED. Super stupid.

If you can give me a legitimate argument as to why this law is awesome and helps prevent mass shootings or stops criminals...please...I am all ears.

I'm waiting...

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Fence Work

Did you notice I went missing yesterday? I didn't publish a post yesterday. I really didn't feel like it. I was even too lazy to schedule one. I have no idea why. Life.

Deputy Koontz made it home to Kokomo. His funeral is this week. Gah. The videos brought tears to my eyes. On some closed LEO groups, the local law enforcement shared the processional videos along the highway from Indy to Kokomo when the troops brought his body home from the coroner's office. It doesn't matter how many times or who it is...my guts hurt and the tears flow. I made mention of that on a thread. An Indiana copper replied, "You cut one of us, we all bleed." It's true. No matter past or present, it still feels the same.

And Brussels. Here I am minding my own damn business, drinking coffee and watching the news...very, very early...when it came across the screen on television and then wallah! my friends who were in Brussels were on Facebook chatting it up. I gave them news feed and they posted info. and friends started helping them as they were on a train headed out of the city for a visit to Dusseldorf when it happened. Luckily the train was not hit.  Rerouted to Dusseldorf for an extra day.

All about the bombings.
Those damn terrorists.
Soft targets.

That's my attempt at terrorist haiku. It really should be rearranged but then it wouldn't be haiku. It's shit! Anyway, you understand what it is supposed to mean.

Thank God they were unharmed, but it put a big kabosh on some travel arrangements and convenience. Stuck in another city nearby at Starbucks with all their belongings in a flat in Brussels. Whew. They updated us all via the handy dandy internet. They are in Paris now, diverted to another way out.

Of course, incidents like these always create a national university emergency with all the students studying abroad. And how about that new feature on Facebook where it checks on you if you activate the GPS dealio and alerts all your friends you are okie dokie? Thank you, Mark Zuckerberg.


And now for some refreshing non-tragic information...

The Russian Bear blessed Bug and I with a rocket.Thank you so much, Russian Bear!  I lurve rockets! I haven't flown one since my dad was alive. I am so excited. This is going to be epic. I'm sure we will capture it on film via Bug's phone and I will post it here. I am waiting for a special day soon to do this. Stay tuned. Meanwhile, check out his latest post, Wheel Gun Love.

Remember my Murphy? He is Otis reincarnate. I know it sounds creepy and he is his own dog, but it freaks me the heck out that he has some of Otis's mannerisms and at certain times, I feel myself whispering..."Otis?"  They look nothing alike.

And today he watched me get ready for work. Pervert.
He is so lovey dovey. And when I cry...he won't leave my side. He checks on me throughout the day and lays by my side while I cook in the kitchen. Just like Otis. He follows me everywhere...room to room. Just like Otis. He chews up the toys so no other dog can play with them. Just like Otis. He sits on my feet or next to me on the sofa. Just like Otis. He is stubborn. Just like Otis. Murphy does not just exhibit those behaviors...but exhibits those behaviors just like Otis. I find myself calling him Murphis and so does Bug. We don't know where it came from, but one day it came out of our mouths and stuck. Ghosts.


I am on a super strict lifestyle change plan that doth killeth me. It's called Countdown to Competition. Except, mine is fake. I'm not competing in any competition. I am just doing the food plan and exercise. Kill me now. I thought I was in so-so shape for an old fat farm girl. Puhlease. I have slipped. Basically, it is measuring all the fresh food I was eating and cutting down on my salad dressing and condoms condiments. Now I have to measure them and boy howdy I found I was a little excessive on butter and salad dressing. Blah. I'm being monitored by a coach and checking into the gym everyday. 
Man, it's like prison. 

Have a jolly day, Boogie Man peeps! It's going to be about 65 or better here with a chance of drizzle.

Monday, March 21, 2016

It's All About The Crack, All About The Crack

So this is the time when I need a lot of input from the peanut gallery. There seems to be a huge disparity amongst the masses when it pertains to POTUS and fallen officers. Many law enforcement and civilians have been crying out that President Obama has said nothing in regards to the increase in police officers being shot, especially when they succumb to their injuries. No public statement.

I'm not even going to address those who speak out about the fact that he doesn't attend their funerals. I, for one, could not pick which funerals to attend if I was POTUS-all fallen LEO-or only those who are killed in the line of duty. Soldiers? Indeed. Should I attend all or just call? And is that even feasible? I would have to plan this out first thing on day one. Wait. I'm not even remotely interested in being the president.

Sure. He could call the families. Is it his duty or the governor's?

Then there are those, including several LEOs who think that it isn't customary for the president to address the concern, but it falls on the states. I really have mixed feelings. It might be too much to ask that he attend all the funerals, but what about addressing the nation?

But what some aren't recognizing is the shift in environment. Ever since President Obama made statements after Ferguson, the nation has spiraled into the abyss. Now I'm not saying he is the only one to blame. I am saying it was a catalyst. Division keeps going. In fact, I'm pretty sure we have now exceeded a big 'ol crack in that aspect.

It's Us versus Them. It's White versus Black. Don't mind all the other colors in there, just the two. It's The Law versus The Lawless. And you know what is scary? There are good law-abiding citizens protesting violently. There is division where there wasn't before. Are we living by a false narrative or are we dredging a ditch wider than needed be? Whiskey-tango-foxtrot!?!

What has been done to change any of this for the better? NOT. A. DAMN. THING.

Oh, wait. Police ambushes and attacks are on the rise. It's a weekly news event and becoming an old hat occurrence. Erg. That is NOT something we want to shout about. What? That's not a better change.

Sure LEOs now have to tip toe through their job. Just as before, they continue to weed out the bad apples. Bad apples are in every organization, agency, business, etc. with many employees. It's just a natural cycle, sadly. Cameras are now expected. That was going to happen anyway. It was a technological trend occurring before all this nonsense. Isn't it odd that they have mostly worked in LEOs' favor? Wait. Those were the inevitable.

What did we do as a nation? Do we hug our neighbors? Did we come together? Did I miss it?

Well, I sit here waiting for earth shattering changes. Meanwhile, I hope I don't get swallowed up by the crack.

Swiss Cheese Moments #15

For many it hits us in the guts when we hear of another slain officer. Deputy Koontz from Kokomo, Indiana, really pinged my heart. He leaves behind a wife and a 9 month old baby. Kokomo is only 70 miles away and is a big small town. It's nice. I thought it was the quiet picture book type. Yep, you guessed it...that famous song comes in my head every time I go there.

Events like this remind us that there are bad guys everywhere. It's not just a city problem. Certainly having the thoughts of killing cops and taking action toward it seems to be getting easier for criminals. It's pretty bad when even the criminals lose their moral compass. Perhaps they are just following the way of the world right now. So many have lost their compasses and maps and cannot find their way back to morality.

First, you lose it in small ways. Those problems grow bigger and before you know it, it's easy to lie, cheat, and steal. But you have a good reputation. Until that one day when you are exposed. And you will be exposed. It is inevitable. So why do people do bad things? I don't know. I'm not a psychiatrist, although being a cop sure is close.

For criminals it is a right of passage. But what about us normal type folks? What makes one of us go bad? Desperate times? A life event? A job loss? A divorce?

My life event caused me to get two more jobs, try to stay afloat, fight to the death, be a better mother...but that one thing...I globbed (definition: aimlessly super grab onto something or someone with no forethought or brain activity) onto another boob of a man and another and another. Then I married one of the boobs. Yeah. Fargo picks dogs. Not the good kind of dogs, but the other kind of dogs. Now literally, when I think of lifelong commitments, I go get another puppy.

Now back to the fallen cops.

I have not thought about Officer Black for quite some time. Back in 2000 ( I was assigned as a detective while pregnant), I called upon the assistance of a gang unit in California to locate a suspect wanted in an aggravated assault with multiple other warrants tied to a drug ring tied to a bunch of auto burglaries tied to fraud cases. See how the organized crime used to work? Drugs-auto burglaries-fraud-aggravated assaults/murders/rape-then you become a politician. Anyhoozle, I contacted the State of Confusion (California) and got some help. The officer I was assigned to was a go getter and very nice, reporting back to me often his progress. He and I got along like peas and carrots over the phone. I was somewhat depressed I didn't get Erik Estrada or Larry Wilcox, but he made it up with his enthusiasm and great personality.

I hadn't heard from him for a few days and it was not like him to check in with me. We were about to get this bad guy with the long arm of the law. I left a message for him at his office. Then I got a strange call one day from one of his cohorts. My new found cop friend had been killed in an ambush.

I really didn't know how to feel except empty with a hole in my heart and helpless. All I could really do back then was donate to his family.

After time, you close the gap a little and move on. But you never forget and at odd times you will remember vividly. I didn't even really know him, but yet you have the blue bond so it feels like you lost a family member.

And you guessed it again..my stupid humor rings in my ear...right this minute...Lauperized.

I know my humor is not appreciated by all, especially during a somewhat solemn and sad post. Cops are awkward. We soften terrible things with sick humor and dumb funnies.

But not to get weird about it, however, that's how I feel when I hear about another cop being killed: Empty with another hole in my heart. Even if it is just for a moment, I feel for the families left behind. I'm pretty sure on the inside I look like baby Swish cheese about now.

Friday, March 18, 2016

Wash Machine Effect

It turns out that Earth is actually a funny farm (insane asylum for you PC folks)  for the universe. I don't have any other explanations for the strange behavior we are experiencing in America nor seeing on national television.

Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?

Wait. Leave?

Nuts! That won't work in this case, Rosie! We would just hop from one continent to the other and still be in the asylum. It would just be moving to different wards.

I think they put us on spin cycle to try to fling off the crazy. Like a centrifuge system where the shit flies off and sticks to the rim. It's really not the natural rotating of the earth like they tell you in science, but something called the "wash machine effect." Process failure, CPO.

What to do? What to do? I have noticed, however, the Earth is getting crazier. For reals.The mother ship keeps dropping off new subjects so the isolation method of housing us on the same planet for containment purposes is working for everyone else.

Damn you, aliens!

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Scatterfield Road

There are a lot of weird roads. I want to be the dude who names them. Well, actually the girl. I think dudes are boys. Take Scatterfield Road, for instance. It was named that because a farmer scattered seed and a field appeared in spring and then some asshole decided to drive through it, so there you go. I really don't know.

Some people might come to the conclusion that a farmer got mad at a bunch of yahoos and said, "scatter" and shot over their heads because he was sick of their shenanigans and some people died there. Just a reminder we should not trespass. Not really, but isn't that scandalous and fun?

I do know how some others get their names, though. Like for example, when you see certain names you know the story without asking. A dude had some cows and they would gather in the meadow and beller (that is a word) until they all came and the dude fed them. One day the place got divided up and the dude decided to make some money by making a subdivision. Times were tough. He pointed at the one straight section and said, "Cow Holler Drive." Why? Because that is where the cows gathered to holler. Now if this were in the south, it would be a whole different story. Down there "Cow Holler" is actually spelled Cow Hollow which means a totally different thing. But we are not in the south. So this is the example I give.

In the west, you have Rainbow Trout Avenue where there aren't any fucking fish. You have Cattle Trail Road because that's where they made a trail going to water or were drove through town to get to the other side by some rancher. There is Oak Street when Wyoming has a hard time growing any damn oak trees but by golly, that one tree.

This one could be called "SandCrack Drive" or

In the east, you have "Broadway" because it was a big fucking wide street. Either that or a bunch of broads gathered on the corner. I might have to research that one a little further.

Then there are the fucking geniuses who named streets: 1, 2, 3. They were dumb.

Nah. They really knew what they were doing because everyone should be able to count.

I have never seen a Fargo Drive, although there should be several. Probably when I die.

A Little Of The Green

Top of the mornin' to ya! Happy Saint Patty's Day! The luck of the Irish to ya! Me Irish (with a touch of German) eyes don't lie. I am prone to a lot of shenanigans and a little malarkey!

I have to admit. I love Saint Patty's Day. Not only for the joy of an excuse to drink some beer, but it is a jolly occasion celebrating gingers. Who can't love that?

Imma lot Irish. Imma lot German. There really isn't much else in between unless someone in the family line deviated off to a Viking ship. 

Ah. But to find your heritage! Embrace it no matter the path it took. It's history. People persevered, were persecuted, conquered, fell, got up again and you survived! 

No matter how scandalous or mundane a family history could be, I find it all fascinating. I wish mine had some more mystery and scandal. I suppose some day, one of my ancestors could make up a bunch of shit about the family history just to make it more interesting and no one would know the wiser. Thank God for the internet to preserve my crazy. One thing is for sure, I am adding my two cents to that lineage and if it weren't for me, this branch would be too straight laced. 

Thanks, Fargo! I know they are all saying that for taking the heat and pressure off of them. Two hundred years from now....someone is going to say..."then there was that one girl in the family."

Have a grand Saint Patty's Day, me friends!

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

The Trip To Crazy Town

I'm kind of in a bad mood today. I am typing with a scowl on my face.

No answers from blood tests. Now I have to write down every single thing I do in a day for a week with details about food and poop and pee and feelings. *shudder* Oh, stop. Not those kind of feelings. Physical body feelings. Beat me. It sounds like a real pain in the ass. Maybe I will write that down that all that writing is hurting my butt.

I have lost 5 pounds (much needed but not in this way) in the last three days due to stress and worry. Yesterday, the doctor said I could try exercise again.

I have put my old contacts in my eyeballs to see if that at least helps with the headaches and dizziness. The prescription is unchanged so I don't know. I have a call into the eye doctor to see if he or the FBI hooked up to me through my contact lenses. Not really. I did notice one side he went down a power and I wonder if that was intentional or a mistake. Maybe that is making my balance all a kilter. I don't know. I only play an eye doctor on television, so I really have no expertise.

I am still cramping up in the morning despite drinking a gallon of water a day. I even set the bottles out so I know I have to get it done. This has been happening since last Tuesday or whenever I had my constipation episode. Poop fails me.

Enough of the boring old body talk. My personal life is bullshit.

The world is still in political chaos. However, new developments over night are that Rubio dropped out of the race and more cops got shot. Erg.

Kasich vows to stay in the race and although he seems like the most level headed one, he is only fooling himself or maybe the GOP is encouraging it while being in denial. I just figure they should cut their losses and let's get the nominee (whoever he is going to be) into presidential classes. I think it's going to be Trump. I'm still not endorsing any one candidate because frankly, they all scare me to death. However, I can adamantly say I am against Hillary. I think I would vote for Satan if he ran against her. Sorry, God.

Although I am positive about life and our world on planet Earth, I have my doubts about the leaders.

Egads, Mertyle, grab the wine bottles and let's barricade ourselves in the mountains! Sanctuary is an option. Wait. Maybe that is only for illegal aliens.

I did sort of like the last episode of The Walking Dead, so maybe there is hope in the world.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Fuzzy Brain

"Where for art thou sanity?", I asketh of the world.

More police officers were shot in shootings in Chicago.

In other news...the Democrats want to charge Trump with inciting violence. Trump wants to blame the liberals for the violent protesting at his rallies, which are now going to be called "job fairs" to throw them off their game. Cruz and Rubio are crying in their blankies and throwing rocks with no vigor. The GOP establishment wants to enter a mysterious candidate into the mix because they can't train Trump to be a Yes Man. Bernie took off the gloves and is now down on evil Hillary and no one can get along in the sandbox. Aren't politics great?

"A lie gets half way around the world before the truth can get its pants on"...10 points if you can guess who said that!

Speaking of a circle jerk...

Yesterday I drove around in a circle, knowing full well where I was, but unable to get out and go home. I had to turn on my GPS and "Phone home, ET." Gah. Here are 10 things your fuzzy brain is trying to tell you.

1. You are blond.
2. You are dumber than a box of rocks. 
3. Your tampon shopping days might be coming to a close.
4. Your sleep resembles a Frogger pattern.
5. You are stressing your brain into a fog. 
6. New meds?
7. Diet?
8. Your cancer treatment is taking a toll.
9. You have an undiagnosed health problem. 
10. You are pregnant.

These answers were brought to you by the letters F, O, G, the color grey, booze, sex, Dr. Phil, and science. Not really. But wouldn't that be fun? I Googled it and added lib to the reasons. I think we can rule out chemo brain, new meds, and pregnancy unless I have been transported into someone else's body.

Could I entertain you in a notion that any comments I make on your blogs or social media are do overs?

So actually, this has been an ongoing problem coupled with some other health issues like dehydration, passing out, collapsing, headaches, nausea, dizziness, vomiting, numbness in my extremities, and such. My brain always feels like I am under water, having airplane ears, or lack of focus. Yes, I have taken measures to counteract all this craziness including checking in with the doctor. I first went to my vagina doctor thinking it was a hormonal change after surgery. He laughed at me. I was kind of pissed. On to my family doctor. She is the bomb diggety. NO matter how I change my diet and increased water intake, the passing out-ness and queasy feelings do not go away and hit me throughout the day. She has no ideas. I just want to be able to exercise and walk around without feeling like I'm going to pass out. Finding my way home after work would be nice, too.

We are waiting for lab tests today.

I blame aliens.

Maybe I should not be driving. That's a thought.

It's a miracle I can still type snark.  Ha!

Monday, March 14, 2016

Nerd Chic with Fargozilla

The presidential campaigning is beginning to look a lot like the "battle of the bikers" or a contemporary Godfather episode. Call me Fargozilla, but I'm getting a little frazzled by all the chaos to a point I have to only get snipits and move on before I get a perma frown and the chic wears off my nerd.

Fargozilla-No that isn't grey hair, bitches!
That's platinum highlights!

Add to the mixture more blue lines lost and I'm about to cut a bitch. Not really, but I had to express my frustration in violent words.

I've been reading a memoir from a Wyoming woman who has a famous family. I'm not going to mention it right now, because a review will be following. However, it took me back to a time when I was growing up in Wyoming and gave me a longing for those times again.

Even when I was at the River War Haus having to pick up dead deer, throw hay to the horses in a blinding snowstorm, chip ice in below zero weather, kill rattlesnakes in the yard, or the time we had to bury one of my beloved dogs are still more plentiful living than what I am seeing and experiencing now. To put that in perspective means, you know how precious my pets are to me.

We can't ever get those days back and I don't know that longing after them is the right choice either, but it soothes my soul for just a nano second.  It is sad those ways of living are lost on future generations. I don't know if we can even swing back our moral compasses because my faith in humanity is hanging on by a shoe string.

It might sound odd to you but I grimace when someone can't keep up with me on a flat trail or groans about their feet hurting at walking a half mile in 65 degrees on a sunny day, while constantly grumbling they parked too far away. Whew. That was a long bitchy sentence. I'm an active person and while I do recognize not everyone is fat farm girl fresh and active, it seems that there is a lot more to complain about. I have no sympathy for lazy, even when I decide to let it overcome me. I also really, really can't stand pussies. I do realize pussies come in all shapes and sizes with varying degrees of difficulty.

But, sweet Jesus!

Can't anyone get a grip anymore?

These news headlines added to my personal misery and observations, coupled with my lack of ability to find a rugged friend has got me retreating to my hole. Turtle mode activated. I don't know. I think I want to barricade myself in my house for no apparent reason but to avoid the stupid world of idiocy and people. I really want to avoid people. Maybe I'm turning into a pussy. If you can't lick 'em, shoot 'em,  or eat 'em, join 'em! Call the cops.

I could make their hostage negotiation training super entertaining.

Friday, March 11, 2016

The Mix

Today's post is brought to you by the letters F, U, the color green, and Caribou Coffee.

I really have no brilliant words to describe my lyrical poem haiku. I know I have no such chance to be a famous rhymester but enjoy...

There once was a man who chose the wrong side of the law.
Bad life choices- not because he was dealt the short end of a straw.

The police nabbed him and put his weak ass shit in jail.
He was locked up in there awaiting justice without bail.

He was low down dirty and his crimes were heinous.
The cops only hoped Bubba would take care of his anus.

Hark! He found a way to finagle an escape.
The people were alerted- he was known to kill and rape.

He kidnapped a family and confined them behind a locked door. 
But alas! The wife escaped the bathroom and Mr. McCloud is no more.

So glad the Mississippi family is safe. Justice prevails! Let's just hope no wingnut decides to charge the husband.

Lesson learned: Don't be a stupid criminal.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Makers of Legends

It is time for a celebration! Of what you might ask? Tribute to the creator of a legend...it's my mother's birthday! She is seven decades plus some years young and that is all you get. She doesn't look her age and is very active and vibrant.

My mom puts up with a lot of my nonsense. This has only happened since I have been an adult because I was a perfect child. She raised me with class and manners which I threw out at the age of 21 and opted for street cred. I inherited some of her OCD (control issues not white glove cleaning although I am not a pig) and her knack of fixating on things as did my grandmother before her. I think I try to buck this system in one aspect by being late all the time as my mother and grandmother are clock watchers and timely people.

Later, I pursued a career as a Sanitarian (trash collector-aka police officer specializing in Multilingual Communications. This also should not reflect poorly on my mom. I am sure she wanted me to be a nice teacher or a doctor. I still have goals to be somebody cool when I grow up. It could happen.

I want my mom to know she doesn't need to be a rock star all the time, that some of us can take the heat so she can relax. I know she worries about my unending mistakes in life and has always been there for scolding and advice. Sometimes she is very, very quiet. This is when I know I have really fucked up. It's worse than the times she uses my first and middle names together. But this is not about me. It's about my super mom.

Let me tell you about the person she is and always has been. She has been a faithful follower of God and taught us the Good Word when we were little, mostly in the Lutheran ELCA realm, but some Methodist was thrown in there, too. We were never to lose our faith and if we strayed too far, here came Grandma to lead us back. I don't remember much of the Methodist way as I am a confirmed Lutheran ELCA. But I know no matter what, it's all about God.

Mom has always been full of kindness and has the utmost respect for people. She truly does respect all people of all walks and colors and shapes. Her compassion for humanity and life is of the utmost level. It shows in her volunteer work and how she treats her family. I am forever grateful for this example.

She will never say a bad word about a person unless they are a Democrat. (I'm kind of kidding on that. She has Democrat friends)  She is a Republican born and bred and someday will be Republican dead.

My mother has a lot of brains, not in the meaty big headed sense, but in the intellectual way. She was an administrator, a politician, and held up the WWC children's center and progressed it into the modern age, focusing on education with unique and fun methods. She was a hard ass as a boss. I get that trait from her too. But from the time she started being the director to her retirement, the center grew into an amazing environment for the kids. No one would utter a bad word about her and, in fact, they often told me my mother was amazing. (Mom, they also told me you used to sneak cigarettes in the teacher's lounge, too. Just so you know. Although  I was always a brilliant detective I figured that out without their help.)

NFL Football had taken over her life at a young age and I would say it is the one time I can't stand to be in the room with her. She loves the Vikings no matter how much they stink up the field and that shows you her level of dedication and loyalty. Same goes for her kids. She has an exemplary son and a work in progress daughter, but she has always been our biggest cheerleader.

She is a stellar grandmother to my Bug and has always been a good role model of class and properness (that is a word) for her. It really shows in the amount of respect my Bug has for her and at the age of 15, Bug still demands to spend "grandma" time in Minnesota.

Mom stands by the Golden Rule and not to say anything unless it is nice. I'm still working on getting that myself and sometimes have to snap myself out of meanness. If it weren't for me, there would be no one in the world to test if she could get to crazy town, because she just doesn't snap off like that. Believe me, she should have with some of my antics and troubles.

Have the happiest of birthdays, Mom! I love you very much!

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

P words: People, Processes, Policies, Procedures, PUH-LEASE stop making it hard

So what the what is going on with universities and sexual assault cases? Don't forget to add in FERPA and HIPAA and all those other regulations which sometimes ties the hands of administrators.  Let me disclose that many administrators, medical personnel, and the general public are confused on these two laws.

This IU case is unique because the administrator was accused of sexual misconduct but the complaints are not unique. Having the go to person being accused as a predator is a whole 'nother ball of wax, so don't get worked up about that being the issue on most campuses.  But I use it as a hot topic because other students are crying out their cases were mishandled when they went to student life administrators.

What can universities do to improve? I will help shed my opinions and suggestions, of course, but then I will receive expected discussion for or against those ideas and maybe some backlash. Remember, this comes from a cop displaced at a university. Be gentle on the lashings.

Why are the universities bottle necking these disclosures? Short answer: They don't know what to do. It's like sit and spin. Oh shit, Mertle, we have one of THOSE claims on campus. Focus, man. It ain't that difficult. Step one. Make us invisible! Second, sweep it under the rug. Nah. Just kidding.

Universities first order of panic is reputation of them and the suspect. I shit you not. They don't want to discredit a suspect nor do they want to discount a victim. But it seems like the latter is done first before they get their poop in a group. What should they do?

This is so simple that I am so confused as to why decades after I went to college this still seems to be a problem. Erg. And we are over the days of covering up for athletes. I hope.

First, if a student discloses a felony crime to an administrator, are they considered clergy? No. They have no obligation to keep it quiet from police, especially if it is a campus problem. Then what? Why is it taking 60 days or more to process a report to higher ups? Short answer: because the process is stupid.

These cases should be handled and forwarded for review within two days of reporting, complete with a detailed report of actions and any ongoing reporting to follow. This is held up for one reason or another which aren't viable and mostly because universities do not embrace police involvement or action of any kind.

Why are they slow? I think because universities feel they have to have everything perfect and make sure they aren't violating some law or ethics but in the process of that, they do no justice. Plus, this opens the door for liability issues.

Once a disclosure is made, the victim should be encouraged to report to police and that administrator should right then and there offer the PoPo's assistance by making a phone call on behalf of the victim. Is the victim under 18? Then it must be mandated to report to police and parents. Is the victim over 18? This is where the fuzz starts to cloud university judgement. What is the university's obligation if the victim refused to report to police? This is the mystery question which seems to baffle the admins.

It depends on state law. If there is any mandated reporting issues, this should be disclosed to the student. Now the university police is an extension of the university so I think you now have a conflict if you don't report it to the university police because of liability issues. Is there a confidentiality law for sexual assault disclosure? Secret code? I have never heard such a thing. If the police contact the victim and he or she refused to cooperate, that is on the victim. This should all be relayed to the victim upon first meeting or hearing of the disclosure. Give them steps. Give it to them in writing if you must. Give them a victim's rights sheet or card to take with them. Make it known what the university can and can't do, will do, and offer services. Make it policy. Let them know upfront. Encourage the truth and forthright disclosure immediately.

Oh, but it's *(shudder)* the police. We must not involve the police. Wrong, you dodos, this is absolutely a police matter and out of your hands. You should be ashamed. You should shift liability. Dumb.

Additionally, what liability issues does the university have as far as suspect-victim interaction? Does the suspect live in the same residential area as the victim.  Should separation be considered? Victim's choice? What about classes? What about innocent before proven guilty?

Here's my two cents. The university in the least should offer victim services, counseling, and any emotional support necessary. The housing situation or class schedules should be discussed with the victim student and housing contracts should not get in the way of doing what is right, liable, or makes the victim feel better. The case might never be proven in a court of law or there may not be enough evidence. That is all on the police, not the university. Ultimately, a victim should not be punished or have to suffer from processes. However, a university can't upset the world just for one victim student. The processes have to be the same for all.

At the same time, the suspect can't be publicly scrutinized, defamed, flogged, or punished by the university unless criminal charges prevail a conviction, right? Not necessarily. What about student conduct agreements? Are they binding for expelling a student just based upon an accusation? Are accusations enough to expel a student? I would say not and that would certainly give the student suspect ammunition to sue. So what can the university do? Unfortunately, it might mean moving the victim from his or her current residence or changing their classes. It's just the way it is.

And then there is that big fat elephant in the room which includes false accusations and false reporting. It happens. This adds to why there should be concrete procedures in place.

What happens if nothing can be proven or there isn't enough evidence? The processes and procedures in place should be the same. Again, you can't persecute a suspect without proof or evidence, but you can take steps to assist the victim with safety issues and emotional support.

But what is the obligation to keep the victim feeling safe?  Does the university have to provide a guard or escort to class? No, but there are often those Samaritan services on campus. Furthermore, a university cannot be held responsible for crimes happening on a student's off time or off campus. Correct. Maybe. Is there a question about this? Once a situation is reported, they should act on behalf of the victim and offer services. A university can assess the classroom logistics and residential safety of a student to review if any changes are needed or requested.

Sometimes I think universities make everything too hard. Much of this is because they sit on their thumbs. No one likes accusations of sexual assault on campus. But universities are like little cities and this stuff happens everywhere. Schools are not secret safe bubbles against the world.

Is it going to get down to a contract prior to having a student disclose? I hope not, but it seems like it is. For instance, the university might leave the victim student with a signed victim's rights sheet displaying what the university offers, what they can and can't do, and detailing responsibilities of the student. It's that stupid. Why? Because we coddle and make it too hard.

Being a victim shouldn't be bound by a contract but at the same time expectations of reality should not be covered with fairy dust that a university is going to cure the problem and be an end all destination for justice. Universities need to have set policies, swift action, and upfront disclosures of obligations and duties with services in place.

Again, not trying to sound harsh, but there is responsibility on the victim as well. In today's age, it shocks me that students jump on law suits because a school did not put them in a bubble and tell the world Johnny Jones is a rapist. And finally, expectations versus reality gets us all in the balls. You can't demean a victim and you have to take all disclosures seriously and put each through all the procedures.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Blue Sermons

It appears the interwebs can be an evil doer of good men. We don't all have equal opportunities. That is a motto Americans may strive for but in reality it will never be true. A rich man has different and unequal opportunities than a poor man. A child raised in a balanced home does not have the same opportunities as one raised in an abused environment and dysfunctional home. Cops do not have the same opportunities as a civilian. But what all men (and when I say that I mean women also) do have is equal opportunity to be better today than you were yesterday.

We are our own worst enemies when it comes to matters of unfortunate circumstances. "It sounded good at the time." I'm sure that is what the cops who were fired over taking selfies on a suspect's phone thought. I'm sure that is what the cops making funny vines thought before they got suspended. I can't put Captain Clay Higgins in the same boat because his ship is a different beast and I believe he will rise above this and be greater than who he was.

Before you do something as a cop, you have to think about one of these hateful eight things:

1. Is it legal?
2. Can it be duplicated or erased?
3. Is it really as funny as I think it is?
4. Does it pass the dumb ass test?
5. Will it make my supervisor frown?
6. Will it get me fired?
7. Will I go home with pride?
8. Does it reach the reasonable cop standard?

More than likely these safety tests will reveal that you should not go forward with your idea if one question is answered against normal thinking. Sure, people will laugh and you might be the biggest class clown or tout the world's biggest meanie from the highest trees, but what did that accomplish?

Social media and the Internet gives everyone balls including myself. Perhaps half of what we write or comment on we would never say to a person's face. I don't know. I think the chances of that fact being true is high.

Take for instance, the latest termination of a cop who posted derogatory comments on Facebook about a Black Lives Matter activist taking his own life. Was it worth it? Even the blue line comments on social media threads are not favorable toward the cop's side and voiced he went too far. If you make the national news with negative coverage, your career is surely doomed. No department is going to save you from the masses of shame because it puts a bad light on their agency.

Some of us would call this natural selection in the cases where officers are putting themselves out in a bad light. And cops will eat their own. We really never had to worry about these issues until social media came about. Before that, it was whatever comes out of your mouth, you own. It is similar now to your fingers. I understand why many cops don't have Facebook or tread lightly when they do.

Cops are one of those who do not have the same equal opportunities as John Q citizen.   They have to be careful in their choices. Why? They are held to a higher standard, albeit not fair, but it is the way it is. They are expected to display high morals and uphold laws, exhibiting objectiveness. They are also the first to get persecuted by the public and any opportunity to do so will be taken by society. It's nothing new. It's just easier with Internet fingerprints.

What about the police officers who were doing vines and maybe started out with clean funny and got a little inappropriate? Did we enjoy their humor? Sure. But did it put a negative light on the department? Possibly. In order to squelch the publicity from getting worse, their respective departments took action. Social media policies have been issued across the nation in most departments. Some are strict and some are lenient. I suppose it always takes one to test the policy's threshold.

So what kind of cops are these who make vile comments about a death? What about the ones who were just trying to be funny? I can't judge their production, but I would lose respect for those who disgrace a death of a simple man on a social media page (unless it was a terrorist) and probably giggle at the vines of the two who got suspended.

The changing ways of society are becoming quite alarming when we aren't allowed to disagree nor have an opinion without consequences. I don't think we all need to sing Kumbayah, nor do I like the word tolerance, but I think we all need to lighten up a little. There is the old saying to "turn the other cheek" or just walk away. Not every action deserves an equal or greater reaction. I also think we need to find our respect for each other even just as human beings. You can still be a tough cop and not wear your asshole on your head.

Monday, March 7, 2016

Language Barriers

Here are some things you should know about police work:

1. "Clips" go in your hair, "magazines" go in your firearm. (bullet holders)
2. Indexing has nothing to do with the library. (index finger off the trigger)
3. A blue falcon is not a pretty bird. (negative name for badge bunny or buddy f$$$er)
4. A door key is heavy, made of iron, and makes a big thundering sound when applied not inserted. (ram)
5. Frequent flyers do not require airplane miles. (those who are arrested often)
6. Cage checks are required with an application of brakes. (slamming breaks when transport is yelling, combative, and/or spitting at you in the back)
7. Individuals flat billing it with price tags or stickers might be PC for a felony. (people who wear the flat billed caps with price tags or stickers)
8. Fender lizards are are not only in the desert states, but nationwide and are toxic to the environment.(persons who swoon and throw themselves at uniformed police)
9. Floppy crappies might involve electricity.(Tased person)
10. Acute incarceritis is not a real disease, you fakers. (person claiming ill when they get to jail.)

Edited for definitions.

Phat Cops

Who isn't sick of the presidential race?

(tap, tap)



I thought so.

I have moved away from the television drama to recapping snipits in the news the day after debates and town hall meetings. I used to watch all of them so I could see all the substance or lack of in candidates. Now I don't want to see any more of anything. Honey Boo-Boo reruns might even be a refreshing change. Nope. I can't even go there.

Some interesting discussions on LEO chat rooms, pages, and websites about all the presidential candidates. Seems many are torn and it is a jumbled mess of sorts. I was surprised to see some negative comments about Sheriff David Clarke from LEO out of Milwaukee. Name calling was half of it and the other half was more negativity declaring he was a Democratic buffoon and a puppet. Some other threads toting statements he was not respected by his own department. Wow.

I found this article from 2014 interesting...and another where Bloomberg gave money for ads to oust Sheriff Clarke.  So what is the chaos all about? Arguments are that Clarke doesn't do anything management wise nor for his organization, but is just a loud voice for justice. Well, I can see the fact he has become a national spokesperson. I do not know anything about the issues which stem from those who are for or against his management styles. Is this bad?

Well, are they mad because he is a voice and no action or are they mad because he is absent from management due to his celebrity status or is he a bad manager? What are the exact problems? Is he a clown? What? What? I'm sure none of his subordinates are going to speak out against him because that could be job jeopardy.

But what is so bad? Is he unfair? Has he buffoons for leadership within his organization? Are his messages to the public stupid?

I don't know about all that organizational stuff. I do know I think he is a phat cop.

What I also know is that the media right loves the Democratic Sheriff and the media left does not and thinks Fox New is using his race to puppet him into saying whatever they want. Really? That's all you got? Well, maybe he wants to say what he does. I'm sure he knows the consequences of his speech if he says something that goes awry or makes him look like a clown.

These are the same critics who got all bent out of shape when Clarke said simply calling 911 and waiting for the police might not be enough. He added that people should consider taking a certified class and arming themselves in order to defend themselves. This stemmed from his first statement: "You can beg for mercy from a violent criminal, hide under your bed, or fight back. " Is this bad? Apparently, it was shocking to the media.

So if you take his whole statement in chronological order and not chicken pawing it to meet a mainstream media agenda, he said calling 911 may not be enough. You can beg, hide, or fight. Consider taking a class and arming yourself for defense. You have a duty to defend your family.

What that the erpie derp is wrong with that?

Nothing in my opinion.

I don't know what is wrong with that message. He was also talking in context of a changing time where criminals are bolder and cops are tied up on nonsense calls. Even if he wasn't speaking on all those issues, isn't the message OK? Maybe it was the part of manning up for your family which sounded a little too harsh.

Let's all get along shall we? Warm fuzzies.

If there aren't enough to go around, I have more where they came from. On a serious note, do you remember when they first started handing these out? Snork, snork. Way back when.

Sheriff Clarke's messages are resonating with the masses and are not entirely bad, at least from my standpoint. He has received the most criticism for not aligning himself with Black Lives Matters and stating, very vocally with descriptors, that they are based upon the fraud of "Hands Up. Don't Shoot". Again, I can't disagree with this. What I found most interesting in this article,  was that he got chastised for using language like "subhuman beings" and "creeps" to name a few. Haven't we all called radical persons who sway so far from the norm less than favorable words? Are we any better or worse than the Sheriff? Should we hold him to a higher standard?

Isn't he referring to the violence that comes from a group which was supposed to be founded as peaceful protesters? We can't condone violence. Do we need to soften it?

I don't think so.

I still like him.

If all we have to change the country is a voice, let him sound off from the highest mountain.

Poop on the haters.