Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Thursday, March 17, 2016

Scatterfield Road

There are a lot of weird roads. I want to be the dude who names them. Well, actually the girl. I think dudes are boys. Take Scatterfield Road, for instance. It was named that because a farmer scattered seed and a field appeared in spring and then some asshole decided to drive through it, so there you go. I really don't know.

Some people might come to the conclusion that a farmer got mad at a bunch of yahoos and said, "scatter" and shot over their heads because he was sick of their shenanigans and some people died there. Just a reminder we should not trespass. Not really, but isn't that scandalous and fun?

I do know how some others get their names, though. Like for example, when you see certain names you know the story without asking. A dude had some cows and they would gather in the meadow and beller (that is a word) until they all came and the dude fed them. One day the place got divided up and the dude decided to make some money by making a subdivision. Times were tough. He pointed at the one straight section and said, "Cow Holler Drive." Why? Because that is where the cows gathered to holler. Now if this were in the south, it would be a whole different story. Down there "Cow Holler" is actually spelled Cow Hollow which means a totally different thing. But we are not in the south. So this is the example I give.

In the west, you have Rainbow Trout Avenue where there aren't any fucking fish. You have Cattle Trail Road because that's where they made a trail going to water or were drove through town to get to the other side by some rancher. There is Oak Street when Wyoming has a hard time growing any damn oak trees but by golly, that one tree.

This one could be called "SandCrack Drive" or
NOFUCKINGROADSOLETSMAKEONE Avenue


In the east, you have "Broadway" because it was a big fucking wide street. Either that or a bunch of broads gathered on the corner. I might have to research that one a little further.

Then there are the fucking geniuses who named streets: 1, 2, 3. They were dumb.

Nah. They really knew what they were doing because everyone should be able to count.

I have never seen a Fargo Drive, although there should be several. Probably when I die.

12 comments:

Cheryl said...

I am always noticing oddly named streets and roads as well. Here in this part of Johnson County, Kansas a lot of the roads are named after Indians. I happen to live on a street named Blackfeather. The problem is that to get to my house I have to tell people to go south on Black Bob before turning onto Blackfeather. I always feel a little perverted and racist telling people to go "south on Black Bob". Even worse if I say go down on Black Bob.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Seattle has an East Marginal Way South. WTF?

Momma Fargo said...

Cheryl....Bwaahahahahaha snork!

WSF: That dude was way directionally challenged or on acid.

Tennessee Grammie said...

I get a good laugh when I see a street name in a foreign language and the translation tells me the person who named it didn't have a clue what the words mean. In California there are Putah Creek = Whore Creek and Avenida de las Pulgas = Avenue of the Fleas. And on it goes... In the south they pronounce Hollow as "Holler" so it's the same thaanng. :)

Momma Fargo said...

Tennessee Grammie: Those are crack ups! In the south Hollow is a hole. In the other end of the world Holler (spelled Holler) is where the cows "cry". Different spelling, different meaning. LOL. You southern sweethearts, you.

Anonymous said...

The fish were fucking in the street?

Momma Fargo said...

Anonymous...it could happen. emfaysis on the wrong sylab bel...no. Different context. You know what I mean. LOL

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Well, there IS a FARGO DRIVE in PLANO (clap, clap, clap, clap - deep in the heart of) TEXAS!
Don't think you wanna move there JUST right now, though.

What gets me is the way they name (in Fort Wayne) SOME streets "avenues", knowing DAMN well that an AVENUE is NOT a damn street, otherwise, we'd not have avenue traffic TRYING to make it's way ALONG that street.
But a Boulevard is actually LARGER (and often wider) than most avenues, but is NOT an avenue.
A "drive" is also NOT an avenue
Nor is a place, road, or circle.
Cities SHOULD be able to figure that much out, right?
(we do hand over enough of OUR money for them to show a modicum of something less than STOOPID!)

Personally, I'd like to rename the intersection street where we live here to "NO" and "WHERE".
That would seem a LOT more apropos (at least to me).

Good post, Kiddo.

Roll safe down there, dear.

Old NFO said...

My personal favorite is Old Fart Drive, outside Columbia, SC (and no I didn't live on in)...

lotta joy said...

We have DRUNKENFIELD ROAD down here. Now, the obvious conclusion is all the drunks used to gather in the field, but "no". This damn place actually miss-spelled DUNKENFIELD and the sign still stands after all these years.

I can see a road in your honor called FARGO, with one running parallel called NOTFAR. And a statue....so the pigeons would have somewhere to....nevermind.

Allenspark Lodge said...

Last month we were in Rochester, Minnesota... home of the Mayo Clinic. We parked downtown and I checked the nearest corner to remember where we parked. First and First. Well, I figured any damn fool could remember that, but when we got back to the corner of First and First, NOTHING was familiar. As it turns out they have a "1st Ave NW", a "1st Ave SW", a "1st St NW" and a "1st St SW". FOUR roads in the downtown named "First" That makes FOUR "First and First" intersections within a quarter mile of each other.

That shows a serious lack of imagination on the city planners part.

Bill

Momma Fargo said...

Bob G....Awesomesauce!

Old NFO...hmmm. LOL. Ok. I will take your word for it.

lotta joy...I wouldn't change the road mishap either. Funny! As for my road and statue...I will take it!

Allenspark Lodge....aka Beel...I know. That city drives me nuts. Wait.