Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Bacon Circle Jerk

All the fuss in Wisconsin makes me want a big slice of cheese on a deserted island where birds sing and cabana boys feed you every two hours with scrumptious food. Sure, Wisconsin matters. But will it make the nomination? No. It might get false momentum going for Cruz if he wins or it might boost Donald's ego farther up the ladder if that is possible-if he is the front runner. I don't know.

All of it makes me craziery, along with the weather. I know spring is just as it's name says...spring. Like bitches, I could spring snow on ya....or I might spring a little sunshine. NOT! Psych!

So Mother Nature has decided to be a bitch. And so am I today. I need to release the negative energy through more coffee. Stay tuned for later snark. It might be more entertaining.

I'm going to ward off any change of weather sickies and sinus issues. I don't want any of that going into the new season.



New near south word:

nibshit: "one who is nibby."

Look, I don't make this stuff up. When I ask about this word, that's what I get. Sometimes I can figure out more...like it is someone who is irritating and nosy. I don't know why, but this word makes me frown. I think it sounds dumb and it drives me nuts to have it aired. I'm not kidding. I don't like it one bit, Sam I am. It reminds me of someone who cannot formulate words and just spittled that out and everyone was around the fire going , "Here! Here! That makes sense, let's use it!" Dumb.

And so let me use it in a sentence. Those who tell me my hair is a ratty mess should be banished from the kingdom and are a bunch of nibshits. I didn't feel like hairdo today. In fact, let me express it in a meme:

I think I'm pretty cute.


Speaking of rats and spittle. I have found that music is keeping me going when I wog and OH, how I have missed it! Duh. I can't believe I was lost in silence for so long. Rats! Don't lose your music MP3 ipod thingy. Evah! You do the back slide.

How is your fitness plan going, Fargo? You ask such silly questions. It is what it is. I am diligent about cutting up tasteless crispy veggies, measuring my proportions, and sometimes sneaking a sweet. Gah. I had been so good about no sugar..until my mother sent my favorites in the mail. Damn you, Cadbury Creme Eggs! So I fell. I don't think it will kill me, but I feel bad about it and I don't want to back pedal.

Those damn British. Always putting a wrench in American plans.

If they aren't after me, it's the Canadians. They are so happy. They want me to join in their reindeer games. Come visit, they say. I have several Canadian friends who bug me all the time. Some of my Candian friends are even Nova Scotians. That is "Sun Scotts" to you who don't know the area. Even their texts and IMs are full of happy ass and cheerful. They might write the same exact words as Americans, but they write it with a skip. I know this. I can tell. It sounds different in my head when I read it.  I think they skip to everything. I ask them why they are always so happy? They say it is the way they are and they don't know, they just is, eh? I asked them about seasonal depression up in the big snow territories. They did acknowledge it is a problem in some regions. I, myself, think I have Yeti ancestry in me because I would be OK with that. Perhaps when Bug graduates, I should find a philanthropist and go philanding and study different regions.

I wonder if I could make a career out of it. I love the behavior of humans. I could probably write another non-selling book about it. Sometimes people represent aliens, but I think I could figure out the righteous ones and the fakers. I could write about humanoid behavior in remote areas. Don't worry. I would send them back to their leader. I'm very good at communicating with the mother ship. Really.



In a moment of silence, I prayed that God would transport me to a super awesome island location of peace and tranquility with umbrella drinks where Google can't even find me. But then I realized I would be dead and in heaven and that my time might not be up yet. So then I prayed for other people in need in order to confuse God and I began to throw so much up there so He would lose my original island request. I don't want him to think I am praying to be dead, because that just isn't so. Sometimes, I need to really think out my prayers before just throwing them up there. Geesh. It's not like He can read my mind or anything.

No. Fargo did not go off her meds.

Did you ever think that this post could be the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon? God fits in there just like parsley garnish. Let me explain myself. So how do we get from Wisconsin cheese politics to isolation to religion to Kevin Bacon? Well, sadly (my opinion of sadly) Kevin Bacon does not believe in God. He was raised as a Catholic. I'm not sure what happened. I have not asked him nor have I researched for internet answers. So he married a Jewish woman, Kyra Sedgwick, who is really not into her born into religion either. They have been married for a long time...twenty seven (that's 27 for you visual learners) years to be exact. I had to Google that. In Hollyweird, that is just shy of a miracle.



And there you have it. Everything leads to Kevin Bacon.

I think he's pretty cool.




11 comments:

Coffeypot said...

For your edification, a NIB is the pointed end of a pencil. Nibby is NOSY (As in your nibby neighbor). So NIBSHIT is a NOSYASS person.

Momma Fargo said...

Coffeypot...yes, that is what I said. LOL. I don't like it. It is dumb. And I think the end of something...pencil...dick...whatever...is nub.

Coffeypot said...

Nope!
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nib


Momma Fargo said...

The end of a pen is a nib. Still makes no sense and is a dumb word that nibshit.

Cheryl said...

You have a lot on your mind today, huh, Momma Fargo?

I agree with you that "nibshit" just sounds stupid as name calling goes. It's odd to me how things catch on, run full tilt until we are sick of it, and move on to other things. Like who thought "groovy" was a word worth saying every 5 seconds, OR "dude" or the phrase "just sayin'"...which by the way makes me grimace..just sayin'.

As for your fitness plan being derailed..I am confident you will rebound from the Cadbury Egg lapse. When and if, warm weather actually descend on us, you will be inspired to get back on track. Nothing like clothes coming off to encourage us to get back to our goals.

Yes, even in print..Canadians are always so nice. Their general optimism and politeness is far and away above most other country's populace. Maybe there is something in Tim Horton coffee?

According to statistics there is a rise in agnostics and atheists. I find that horribly sad. I know that doesn't mean that some aren't spiritual but for a lot of reasons, I think that leaves a void in how people view their place in humanity.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
How you manage to come UP with all this "stuff" baffles me (and I used to think that way)...LOL.
Now, I try to keep such things to a minimum (hurts too much with all the crapola going on).

:)
Good post, Kiddo.
Roll safe down there.

Momma Fargo said...

Cheryl,

We think alike it scares me. Are you my twin? LOL. I agree with the loss of faith. I think it is a big void. My friends who disagree with me are very angry that I feel that way even though I don't preach to them at all. They seem very angry at God even if they don't acknowledge him. Weird, eh?

Those Canucks. Gotta love them. I love them at the airport in Toronto. They are by far the nicest is all the land.

And words are very weird indeed.

There is not a lot on my mind, but too much in it. LOL. Haha.


Momma Fargo said...

Bob G.,

Oh the pain. I have no idea why I go so weird.

Akcamper said...

I once read that a woman's brain is like having 87 tabs open at the same time. They must have been doing a study of your brain at the time!

Momma Fargo said...

Akcamper...that is it! You are so brilliant. Thank you. I will usher the dudes with the white jackets out now. I feel better. LOL. On a serious note, I think we are all over the place.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Used to piss of my mother by calling a pencil or pen a "writing stick".