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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Five-Oh BitchCraft

Five things you may not know about me personally and essentially non-PoPo related:

1. I like manicures and pedicures. It is the only time I feel like a princess, otherwise I resort to tomboy. I don't like to do them myself. I like the spa kind. My pocket book does not. Luckily, around these parts this here treatments is cheap. 

2. Gardening is my therapy. I used to own a nursery and landscaping business. I love all kinds of gardening, even pulling weeds. I need a lot of it. Sometimes I wet my plants.

3. When I go out to eat, I prefer Thai, Chinese, sushi, or a good 'ol juicy prime rib. Sometimes I like myself a little Mexican. I am very diverse. I am also not a cheap date and like really fancy restaurants. That's probably why I don't get out to eat much. And sushi is a recently (age of 47) acquired taste and I love, love, love it! Thank you for that adventure, Kevin!

4. I have tattoos...two of them. I love them. I want more, but then I think maybe not. It has nothing to do with my mother. I like tattoos on me and other people. It's sexy if it is done right and horrific if done all wrong. I get to channel my inner gangster. Before you utter a word, neither tattoo will be sagging down my pants as I do not sport any tramp stamps or booby murals. At a ripe old age, who is going to give a shit anyway? Back in the day, tattoos were for hoodlums, so they got a reputation. But then we got progress. Isn't progress great? The sagging myth I think was a poor deterrent our mothers made up and it went viral. If you don't like them, that's OK. They aren't for everyone. 

5. Some of the joys in my household are attributed to my daughter and my puppies. It's pretty crazy around the house and I like it busy like that. Me overreacting, probably. Except on Sundays. We all know it is relax day. So weird. I like Sundays. I like to fish.

Five things you may not know about me as a cop:

1. I love to drive fast. I loved to drive fast in the PoPo car. I would like to drive code...all the time. Sometimes I got reprimanded with a grin when I was not supposed to be driving fast. This is mostly at night because no one is out there and I needed to go. No sense messing around and I can't blame the traffic for slowing me down at that time. Day shift sucked really bad because I had to be good. Traffic created obstacles which was kind of fun like a slalom race. However, during the day you really can only go fast if you are driving code. I never crashed a cruiser going forward or fast. I only crashed a cruiser backing up. Who put those poles there?

2. Donuts are our friends. Let's stop hating on the donuts. Why do cops love them so much? Well, if you have to ask, then you don't know donuts. 

3. I was really happy on patrol all of the time. It showed in my physique and attitude. I had a lot going on in my personal life to keep me busy at both times when I did the duty (before and after I was a detective). When I was a detective, I was happy with a lot of stress accessorizing my outfits. It was very rewarding and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

4. I had bad dreams. Bullets flying, vests not working, near misses and sound effects. I still have those all the time.

5. I would enjoy patrolling the nice neighborhoods on day shift to get landscaping ideas. I would also critique their yards and some just had no knack or flavor. At night, I loved driving slow in the hood. I love the activities in the hood. Love, love. 

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MC said...

Learn lucid dreaming, all the bad dreams will go away.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
AH, you're hitting on ALL EIGHT cylinders with this post.
And who says a lot of those "items" are the sole realm of females, anyway?
I love donuts, and driving fast (enough), and yes, even fancy restaurants (and daye in my day never hadda pay a dime, and I had the bank account withdrawals to prove it...LOL)
I hate driving in the hood...but it happens to be where we live (thanks to poor city management and decades of stone ignorance).
Bad dreams...still, now and again.
Not convinced on the "tats", though.
Members of our armed forces should get DIBS on those...heh.

Good post.
Roll safe down there, Kiddo.

Cheryl said...

I, too like manicures, pedicures, and gardening. I am not thrilled with the pulling weeds part but love pretty gardens so am willing to do extensive amount of weed inhalation I like tattoos on other people, as I think they are cool if done right but not interested in any on me. Pain doesn't become me.

I like to drive fast but I am guessing that "your fast" and "my fast" are two very different things. My money is on the fact that you are a more proficient driver than I am, so all the people that have to share a road with me can be thankful that I sort of kind of follow the speed limit.

Who doesn't like donuts?? What's not to like??

Driving the hood at night...no..no..not for me. Come to think of it..Driving the hood in the daytime isn't on my to-do list either.

I do like to drive through non-hood neighborhoods because I like to see houses and yards. As a Realtor, I love everything about houses and how people keep them up and decorate them.