Until we get to the bottom, let me just preface this day by saying I was not greeted with enthusiasm today walking into the office. It is to the point, I would like a back entrance so I don't have to deal with negativity. I think I might also start bringing my own beer fridge and stick it under my desk and deal with work life through a hops filter. My boss is gone and I am now under fire by the OM who used to be my friend, but now I don't know what I call this relationship. The UNfriendship?
But I smile, nod, and wave and even do extras because she has cancer. I offered to drive her to chemo, got shot down. Just "no". Ok, then. I offered to take her to lunch one day and that was shot down. I don't need three strikes to get it!
She did invite me to her awards ceremony so I am attending. I am not sure what I did to fuck up the friendship, but I am too old to stress myself out about it. It's mostly amusing now at what jab to dodge during the day. I think at my age, you just live with it and say "fuck it." However, I am really not invested here either. I need to shit or get off the pot, I guess. I don't know. Girl drama is for teenagers. I don't want any part of it. This is why I liked working with men. Need I remind myself to get that Master's Degree and pronto.
I am very thankful my boss and assistant boss are very pleasant to work with and we don't have these issues. The big boss is also very encouraging and kind. We have the same humor. But when the big mice are away...I become cat litter.
And my students are wonderful, but there is a need to micro-manage at times, then let them have some freedom of self-management, then rein them back in. Oy.
My life has gotten really narrow and super boring. I'm not sure I like it like that. My book is coming at such reptilian speed that I might be done by the time Thomas the Turtle turns 150. I'm trying. I just need some inspiring days.
I am trying to pinch pennies into nickels. I make the same as I did in 1997. Wow. Eye opening let down.
To protect myself from more personal drama, I am really concentrating on running, early morning workouts, and eating right. This is also for my psyche. Combatting drama, one cucumber at a time.
Plus, if I keep my breaks and lunches open for errands and walks, then I don't have all the other troubles of office drama. I am logging all my food on myfitnesspal.com, fitbit steps are auto populated in there, and I am taking measurements, weighing every so often, and making myself accountable. Bikini season, here I come! Only not yet, because I don't want to get harpooned on the beach nor do I want someone to put me back into the water.
Next, I planned a really cool event with Bug this weekend. A local flower shop and nursery has a free breakfast with the owners event and I RSVP'd weeks ago. We get to have coffee and scones in the flowers and ask garden questions. I am so excited. It will be a refreshing change from the rain.
The poopies (my bodily functions) are regular and I got a clean bill of health from the doctor the other day. Sadly, she is leaving to go to Florida because her overly successful doctor husband got a super great job there. I am not happy about this and she had no recommendations for a new one, except her doctor was in Indy. Well, poop.
Oliver, Murphy, and Moose continue to be full of spring antics and I enjoy them so much. Their fur is my crack on a rainy day and while I type away at my book or work around the house, they are by my side. Bug is somewhat jealous of their attention to me. I think the dogs sense she is more into boys and Pretty Little Liars than paying homage to them. So, they go where they get loves and kisses. The world is so much different now then when I was her age.
What is really weird is my child loves animals, but not to the emotional investment that I have. I mean, I really have a sensitive heart when it comes to them, even though I don't have a problem killing predators. I even cry over strange animals and wildlife getting abused, killed, or injured. I can't watch animal rights videos or those ASPCA thingies. They are too hard on my heart. My child embraces electronics more so than pets.
How did we create such a princess? She says she likes the outdoors, but I have to force her out. When I was a kid, you had to force me in...rain, sleet, snow, or shine.
The Harry Potter House
Paint scraping by hand begins on The Harry Potter house at first butt crack of sunshine. It is a strange type of therapy for me. Despite me helping friends on their home projects or whatever they need me to do, they do not offer to help with this. AND I ANNOUNCE IT TO THE WORLD AS A SMALL HINT. I don't blame them. Who would want to? But, that just isn't how I roll. I do shit jobs for friends. Golden Rule.
I have done some dirty deeds for friends. Maybe they find me an easy target?
It is still mostly turmoil with gusts of crazy in the world. Bring your umbrellas to avoid debris from the sky. Police are being shot at and harmed almost daily. Ambushes may not be as rare as we thought, but now instead of just thoughts, thugs are taking actions. It makes me sick.
Many times I suffer from Tourette syndrome when the news is on blasting visions of police shootings or situations of civil unrest and social digression. The medication doesn't work. Why can't society make any strides toward peace and normality?
Politics. What is there to say about that? There is a reason why it begins with a derivative of the word "POLE". Bend over here it comes again.
Public opinion is starting to rule the world, rather than ordinances, laws, regulations, and such. If you bully the business, government org., or program into rethinking an action or process, you might get it your way. Or...now you can just hold up signs, picket in front of the place of repute, shout bad things about a person or business or organization and... if they don't listen... (because they expect you to protest without violence and they choose to ignore)... you can just whack them on the head with your sign and punch them in the vagina as they pass by or get near you. That will make them listen.
Here's what I want to know: Where are the Martin Luther Kings? Where are the Gandhis? Where are the Malala Yousafzais? Do we have any peace makers? Do we have any one dedicated to stop this civil unrest---even starting with our country? Are any of them Americans? Are any of them white? What are we doing as a world united to combat ISIS attacks and future terrorism?
Fargo Gets Stoned In Public
Sometimes I don't know what comes over me or why I can't control what comes out of my mouth. There needs to be a PC monitor at the tip of our tongues and an ABORT button.
I know if you have a disclaimer or preface to story, everyone says...right, Fargo. It must be true you are a shithead because you told background on the whole saga. Not true. It's called setting the stage. Shut up and listen.
Now keep in mind I am not a bigot nor am I a racist or fascist or whatever name you want to call someone who says things that are not PC. I grew up in a time where none of us were PC-everyone threw out terrible jokes, or said things about high water pants, being pansies meant you were very unfit and not strong-NOT GAY...and in fact, gay meant happy back then. Maybe some people in my town were prejudiced against something whether it was the color green, trucks without gun racks, or short skirts or against race, color, or creed...but not me nor my friends or family. We grew up with Hispanics, a couple mixed race families, Native Americans, Polish, Jewish, Catholics, Mormons, Baptists, atheists, many gays and lesbians, etc., but we didn't notice those things in school. They were just people. We didn't look at them like that. We did not put them in a category. We may have separated people into jocks and smart ones...nerds. I kind of got thrown into both categories. I was a smart athlete. We all intermingled at the school. Now granted in the 70's and 80's most gays and lesbians kept all that to themselves, but all of kids knew. We still loved them for who they were as people. This is very unusual for a small western town. Today, the townsfolk are still close and if you go back to visit, they want you at the bar by 7 PM to discuss your life and you better eat at the local restaurant at least 3 times. Or, you visit in secret, because if you didn't show yourself to visit, you would be scolded.
There were little drugs...at least not in my circles. Maybe some weed and later a scant of cocaine. But that was reserved for two people in school...that we knew of and saw white powder on their noses. Most everyone else drank a little or a lot depending on how good the bonfire was on any given Saturday.
Nowadays are different:
No matter what comes out of people's mouths, you are all OK in the eyes of public opinion if you smoke weed. Except I don't smoke weed. Therefore, I will never be accepted.
I'm sure many would be amused or relish in the notion that I got high and found some really potent weed this weekend. But I fooled you, because this post is not about that. I'm talking about the traditional type of stoning...like with rocks. I was at lunch with some friends (all die hard Democrats) and we were discussing families and babies.
BARBARA: Oh, I have to tell you about my friends. They just had a new baby named Caitlyn.
ME: Is it a girl or a boy?
Yeah. I don't know why I said that. I didn't mean it crappy. At the time I was in deep thought. I have nothing against transgenders. The words were just like there and I think I might have been possessed by Satan for that one moment. It just happened. I don't think I will be invited for lunch ever again. The public stoning did not feel good. Unlike the characters in The Lottery, I lived.
So that is how my life is going right now.
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