Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Monday, May 16, 2016

I Was A Lawyer... And I Lied To A Judge... That One Time

This weekend Bug and I watched Concussion with Will Smith based upon Dr. Bennett Omalu's medical discovery and his struggle to bring the realization of CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) to the NFL. We both thought the movie was good and sad at the same time. Eerie but not surprising that the NFL brought down some shady stuff. Sadly (speaking of which), I don't find anything online that would suggest treatments or anything effective to help these patients, except maybe treating the depression part of it. In fact, the Mayo Clinic says there is no treatment for this disease and it needs to be studied further. 

It brought back a flood of memories. I'm sure you know where this is going. 

It took years to get a divorce from the serial killer.  Yes, I said, YEARS-not months. I don't think I ever shared the court battles on here. I don't think I will but maybe give out some Cliff Notes of the ordeal. It was zero fun and nor do I wish to redo that experience. In the end, I had to fire my attorney and go pro se. I don't think I have totally shit my pants in court, until the day I became a "lawyer." Luckily, I had a very kind judge who was patient with me. I studied hard and in about two weeks I was ready to be an attorney. 

So roll the time forward and it was the deciding day on the stand after firing my attorney, hiring a PI out of Chicago, PI investigation to track down my husband who was avoiding service and contact-and still did to the end, publishing in the newspapers, etc., etc., the whole ball of wax  and the whole shebang. In fact, he never made a court appearance. Everywhere I went I was told my attorney should be doing this and that. I told them I AM THE ATTORNEY, bitches. It was exhausting. Those attorneys are worth their prices...well, most of them. 

Judge H. reviewed everything very carefully.

JUDGE H.: Ms. Loving, are you sure there is nothing the state of Indiana can do to reconcile your marriage?

Ok. Now I was forming sweat beads because I didn't want this to delay any further. It had been FOREVER already. Good night I was going to be ancient before I was free from these shackles and this black cloud. And surely, I did not want to have sex in sin. Who wants to be naughty with a married woman? 

ME: No, sir. 

JUDGE H.: Ok. Ms. Loving, are you sure you do not want any of this property back in which Mr. Loving has in his possession which you brought to the marriage? It looks like he brought zero and you have given him thousands?

ME: No, sir. He can keep it. I am sure he pawned the ring anyway. The furniture, household items, and paintings he can have.

JUDGE H.: Ok. Did he give you a ring? I need to list everything.

ME: No, sir.

JUDGE H.: He didn't give you a ring? 

ME: No, sir. 

JUDGE H.: Ok. [muttered something under his breath that I could not hear] 

I am sure the judge was looking at the stupidest broad in history to marry a man who did not produce even a ring. Yes, I was the stupidest broad in history. Bam. 

And so the Judge did his thing and granted me free and clear...legally divorced. Ah. What a great feeling it was. He also made sure I had an original copy with his signature. We signed like 4 copies. He knew I needed to have it official and in my hands on that day. 

Relationship Status: Sleeping In My Bed Diagonally 

As I was gathering my things and preparing to leave....

JUDGE H.: Ms. Loving?

ME: Yes, Your Honor.

JUDGE H.: Do you think your husband suffers from that concussion thing from the NFL?

I thought about it that for a moment. I knew I definitely had brain damage. But him?

ME: You mean my ex-husband?

JUDGE H.: [smiled] Yes, I mean your ex-husband.

ME: I'm not sure, Your Honor. It could be possible.

JUDGE H.: It sure sounds like it.  I wonder if things would have been different for you. Sad deal.

ME: Yes, sir. 

JUDGE H.: Ms. Loving, do me a favor.

ME: Yes, sir?

JUDGE H. : This has been the longest divorce proceeding in my history, I believe. If you get married again, find someone who is good to you. You deserve a nice fella. I can say I will be glad to never see you again. [giggle] 

ME: Yes, sir.

JUDGE H.: Good luck to you, Ms. Loving.

ME: Thank you, Your Honor.

And so there was this one time....at Indiana district court... where I stood there in a high dollar suit and lied straight faced to the judge while posing as a lawyer. I don't think I have been that dirty in all my life. 

No, I don't think the serial killer suffers from CTE endured in the NFL. I just think he is a bi-polar violent asshole who self-medicates with alcohol

I really wanted that to be my answer. 

Free Bird


Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Seemed like that divorce SHOULD have been a slamdunk (imho).
And he NEVER made an appearance?
Isn't that a contempt sorta thing, or doesn't that apply with civil issues?

As for finding the right man...well, they don't have cloning down yet, so...
(next life?)
And I promise to never play any sport that has head smacking around. I do enough of head banging against walls living where we are.
Why do I do that? Feels so damn good when I stop, that's why...lol.

ROll safe out there, Kiddo.

Momma Fargo said...

Bob...he never made an appearance. No contempt. If we had split some property up or other things, it would have gone all in my favor because he chose not to show. I just wanted out.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

I acted as my own attorney. She wasn't present and had already agreed with, and signed everything. Down at the courthouse the bitches did the whole, "We don't give legal advice; you need an attorney". My response? "Bullshit, just point me at the right window. Or, I can go up two floors and see my Councilman. He will see me because I'm a Precinct Committeeman in his district. I'm sure he will loan me someone to guide my to the right fucking window". Was out of there in fifteen minutes with the Magistrate's signature on the paperwork.

Mad Jack said...

JUDGE H.: Ms. Loving, are you sure there is nothing the state of Indiana can do to reconcile your marriage?

Mad Jack: Put two in his head, yer honner. That'll reconcile the SOB.

Momma Fargo said...

WSF, I could not pull that off here. I know no one and had a shitty attorney.

Mad Jack...LOL. Don't we wish?

Cheryl said...

OMG, when the judge says it's the longest case he ever saw...that speaks volumes. Judges tend to see all kinds of crazy shit.

That all sounds horrible. So sorry you had to endure being married to a crazy person. It does sound like you had a really decent judge. Thankfully! You deserved a break.

I don't consider it a lie that you told the judge. I consider it as you being discerning by not expanding on the fact that he was a violent alcoholic. See you really do have "filters". My money is that that judge knew exactly what kind of asshole you were married to.

GunDiva said...

What Cheryl said.

Tennessee Grammie said...

It was a long, hard journey but you prevailed. Stop beating yourself up for believing a professional, serial liar, and don't look back. Life is to be joyfully lived and it's ahead of you. I'm proud of you for getting the job finished!

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo;

Sorry I couldn't respond to this earlier, I had a lot of stuff going on in my world. I remember reading some of your post that you later removed talking about the *douchecanoe* that you married and the trials and tribulations. I felt soo bad for you because I consider you "good people" and to get soo screwed over I considered it an affront. Good people ain't supposed to get hosed over. But the system is imperfect I guess.
I am glad that you survived the serial killer as you called the sorry piece of crap that did you wrong. I hope one day you meet a good guy that is worthy of your awesomeness.