Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Friday, May 13, 2016

The Friday Blots

Fargo blew the dust bunnies off the blog as she looked around and saw no one.

It is Friday the 13th. Is this absence of humans to be expected or was it related to yesterday's post? It is deserted in here like an island with no habitants. A habitant is a French settler down Louisiana way or Canaduh if you didn't know. An inhabitant is all the others. So, therefore, in conclusion, there are no French people around here. Or anyone else for that matter.

Apparently, yesterday my talk about health issues and lube was too much. I was going to take it down so no one had to look away or be embarrassed, but I didn't. Why? I don't know. So it could embarrass my mother? I have done that all my life. One time one of my Minnesota aunts called me and said she used to read my blog, but can't anymore because it was "whew". Yeah. I told her nothing is sacred and everything is shamed on here. She said, "oh boy." I told her if she thinks The Boogie Man has no filter, she should go over The Snow Camo. She didn't think she could.  I  have a tendency to talk about anything under the sun. Literally. I was talking about things yesterday where the sun doesn't shine. It's the cops' fault. The job made me that way.  The cricket sounds in here were getting so bad I couldn't hear myself think. And for all who don't know...that's way loud.

I really thought it was necessary information I should share for all the world to know. Oh well. At least it was way more exciting than America fighting over bathroom issues. That shit is in the toilet. The matters we see in the news just keeps flushing our country down the drain. Puns intended. Can you believe how much time and money is being spent over the ordeal? Why doesn't the entire world just make private rooms so we can move on? Unisex bathrooms with one person per room. Shut the door, lock it, do your business. Done! Next! No more stalls and urinals. Let's do it!

Also irritating is the rumor of establishment Republicans creating a third party run. What a waste of our time and their egos. NO ONE WANTED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! Another cherry picking headliner is the tizzy over Donald Trump's taxes. I DON'T CARE! That's between him and the IRS. I don't care about anyone's taxes unless they are a criminal and then stick it to them!

And Pinterest...poop on you. I recently got a message that I had pinned something against their policy and got a complaint? WTF? It said something about nudity? I have NONE of that on my pin boards. Freaking whackjobs. Perhaps my lasagna pin was TOO NAKED for someone. Get off my boards, you freaking whiners. If you don't like my stuff, go away! It irritates me the same as when someone jackknifes my Facebook account, complaining that I posted something they didn't like. GO AWAY! It's my page. If you don't like me, go away! I don't complain about other people and their Faceplant pages even if they are nasty and hateful. I click off. Is that so hard?

In the good news...

1. Carlie Trent was found safe.
2. I am finally in my running groove and I feel I might live through a half marathon in the fall.
3. I did not die. This is not a scheduled post. Every day above ground is a good one.
4. Despite my teenager's attitude and mouth having the runs, she did not die.
5. I didn't have to use lube to take anything life handed me this week.
6. It's Friday! Yay, weekend!

Some things I need to improve on:

1. My approach. Teenagers do not think it is funny when you respond to their eye rolling but encouraging them to continue so they might locate some sense or a brain in the back of their eyelids.
2. My filter. It seems I need to reattach this device but it seems to be lost at the moment. Note to self: find filter.
3. My diet. According to my coach, I am eating too many carb ladened fruits and veggies. I mean, who knew cucumbers had so many carbs? They taste like nothing. Aren't carbs supposed to have flavor? FMITA.
4. My princess mode. The cops told me I act like a man. Whiskey-tango-foxtrot? I have no idea what that means unless I am not the damsel in distress kind. This lady does not look like a dude. I guess I need to act like a priss and not look strong. How do you do that? I need a work husband to do my fixins' at home.
Around here it is scheduled to be partly cloudy with undertones of rain and a high of 50 degrees. Super. I love going from 85 to 50 in 5.5 hours. Mother Nature is such a bitch sometimes.

So, I'm going to go figure out how to entertain myself in cold weather. Blah. Have a great weekend!


Allenspark Lodge said...

(No lube)

Yesterday I almost asked if you had posted to the wrong blog by mistake.


Momma Fargo said...

No, Bill. I did all that shit on purpose. Isn't that great?

Cheryl said...

I just got around to reading yesterdays post and noticed you had a new one. I was mulling over what I might contribute in form of a comment but ***crickets***. I have nothing to contribute on the subject of lube as that isn't something that has made it's way into my life or orifices yet.

As for "filters"....Filters are a tricky thing. I don't mind people being very forthright and honest. When stating an opinion or discussing an adult topic among adults, I see nothing wrong with speaking your mind. The only filters that I appreciate is when people are getting hostile "in your face" trying to shove their opinion down the throats of others. That does not apply to you. You always state your view but I never get the sense that you expect other people to agree with you 100 percent.

As for the rest of the nonsense on the news....For the most part I am just sick of the contentiousness. Everything has become a fight when often there is a common sense compromise.

I didn't think I really cared one way or another about the gender "comfort" bathroom issue until this morning a news report came on about a high school making all bathrooms coed. While I would like to think adults would (for the most part) use discretion, I don't trust that teenagers wouldn't push boundaries. Ultimately, I don't like the government foisting mandates on states, groups, businesses or anyone for that matter, that they are uncomfortable with. As with all issues, one group gets their rights expanded at the expense of someone else's rights being restricted.

As for the cucumber having to many carbs. That is crazy!! I wouldn't of thought that was even possible. I am a high protein, low carb kind of eater but anything that low in calories is a free pass. I am prepared to limited bread and flour but I am not limiting things as inconsequential as cucumbers.

Congrats on the continuing success of your running program. I am envious. My feet just can't handle much running anymore but still walking my 5 miles everyday.

I have been told I act like a man, as well. Usually that is only said by men that are married to "princesses". Men that are married to self-sufficient, independent women just think I am responsible and self-reliant. My husband wouldn't know how to deal with a princess.

Coffeypot said...

HEY, FARGO fargo fargo, farog. I’M HERE, hear, hear, hear. YOUR ARE NOT TOTALLY ALONE, lone, lone, lone. IN FACT, I ENJOYE YOU POST ON YOUR NEIGHER REGIONS. Regions, ons, ons. IN FACT, POST MORE ABOUT THEM – AND SHOW PICTURES, pictures, ures, ures.

Momma Fargo said...


I agree with the school bathroom issue. WTF? And why is the government getting into the bathroom biz? So ridiculous. I am pissed at the prez. I forgot to add that part in there as for the other stuff...it is getting way out of control and stupider. IMHO

I love the fact you don't filter things and say straight up what is on your mind. Maybe we should parade around with our tiaras and filterless minds with our heads held high. LOL.

Momma Fargo said...

Coffey...you make me laugh, you devil.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
I see we're on the SAME page when it come to this whole (school) bathroom issue.
(great minds again?)
Single person toilets...yeah, we called them PORTA-POTTYS!
I DO like your solution to "eye-rolling"...well said.
I hate cucumbers...no problems there for me.
You CERTAINLY have the feminine gig down...don't let anyone say different! (but I understand the whole po-po side of that as well)
As for your weekend?
(you can always roll up HERE and provide us with some landscaping ideas...and free coffee)
Just a thought.

Have yourself a fantastic weekend.
Stay safe down there, dear.

Coffeypot said...

Recon Obama's entitled children will share the shitter with a boy or group of boys?

Akcamper said...

Mamma Fargo I love your blog, it's a sad day when you don't have a post for us. Sometimes you have a few to many tabs open which is no big deal, it's trying to follow along that gives me whiplash, but heck, it's all good! Keep up the good work and don't ever change!

lotta joy said...

Great. Just fucking great. I'm in pain, I'm unconscious, and just tossed my kid into heavy traffic while praying for break failures...........and I missed a blog about lube.

Do you have NETFLIX?? I watched, and loved FRANKIE AND GRACE and Grace invented YAM LUBE. "A great lube, and tastes good too!" she said. I googled it. It's like $45 for a small tub, but I wanted to make it myself.

Off to read.

Old NFO said...

LOL, you're on another roll... Good luck finding the filter... :-P