Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Murphy's Law of Fargo

Just when I find a great doctor and get used to her, she has to get a big wig job in Florida. So I was referred to this new doctor who had a good reference. I liked her as well. I just went in for a quick blood test, intro myself, and BP check and then set up a new doctor exam.

Nope.

My blood pressure and pulse were so low they decided to hook me up to an EKG machine.

I was like: poop shit.

And here is the full version and not the short Facebook post. LOL. You're welcome:

Leave it to me to cause panic in the doctors office when they took my blood pressure. Got hooked up to an EKG and monitored. Then breathing tests. Asked all kinds of questions.
Are you feeling ok?

No.

What is going on, Kathryn?

In all this frenzy I lost a contact and my spares are at work.

They didn't like that answer either.

I added...Now I have to drive with one eye.

Silence from the doctor.

Despite me saying..."Dudes, I am always this low," they didn't like it; they continued to look at me like I was going to go into cardiac arrest and stop breathing.
They also never had been called dudes.
Then while reviewing my information:

When were you diagnosed with asthma: 2002. Why so late? Did you have it when you were young and ignore it? Or develop it later?

Developed it later.

Ok. What caused you to go seek medical attention for it?

Meth lab exposure. 

*crickets*

It was when I was a police officer.

Some sigh of relief and wide eyes. 

Oh. Wow. Ok. Any major injuries in your life?

A broken neck.

Ok. Car accident?

No. Police fight.

*crickets* 

Look up from clip board*

Any surgeries?

Yep. January. 

What for and why?

My ovaries decided to be a bitch.

I can see you are going to be an interesting patient. 

After all the testing, more doctors came in. Apparently the fourth doctor agreed I have a heart of an Olympian. Now if I was just blessed to be that ripped.

Yep. Story of my life. 

And then after putting a new contact in my left eye after being 2 hours late back to work, I had to repeat this story to the bosses. You can imagine the laughter on that one.

Yep, that's our Kathryn. 

5 comments:

Old NFO said...

You just 'love' stirring it up, don't ya??? :-) Glad you're still okay (more or less)... :-)

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
And I thought MY answers to doctors were cause for smiles.
(you got me beat by a country MILE!)
To be honest, I have never said anything to any doc about my ovaries...LOL.
It's all "man-bits" for me.

Wifey does the contact drop (usually in the sink WITH the stopper in, thank God.
Me? I just misplace my GLASSES.

Getting older is SUCH fun...NOT!!!

Roll safe down there, Kiddo.

Mad Jack said...

My ovaries decided to be a bitch. So I decided, WTF?, I'll just have 'em sew in a set of balls I confiscated last night from some stud wanna-be who put his hands on my little girl. But my sawbones told me that it was the wrong blood type or something. So I put 'em in a bottle of formaldehyde and kept 'em as a kind of souvenir. Wanna see?

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo;

And I though I was rough with the Dr's and nurses with the one liners...Glad you are ok though :)

Momma Fargo said...

Bob G, Mad Jack, Mr. G...you know it's all good. Those doctors. pshaw. They have silly notions that I would stop, drop, and roll in their office.

And I was so with it, that I posted this post twice. Gah.