Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Friday, September 30, 2016

The Hoodie Times

Wassup?

I'm sure by the title of this post, you think I am going to write about thugs. Why? Because people associate hoodies with criminals. It's called stereotyping. So not right. I wear hoodies all the time,especially when I run in the cold. So...think outside the box. Just like you should think outside the box after you read this entire post of inappropriateness. At least that is what some of you will think when you read below. But my thoughts are actually not bias or inappropriate at all.

It is raining. All. The. Time.

I can't get outside work done because there is not enough sunshine. And if there is a glimpse of it, I am working or I say..."Ok. Time to work outside." Then I get out there and it rains. WTF.

It's that time of year where I need to wear protection. A lot.

From.the.squirrels.

See...they are gathering right now and preparing for winter. What does this mean? This means Fargo gets hit on the head by acorns. Every. Fucking. Day.

So if I go outside, I pretty much have to wear a hard hat.


Fargo hard hat attire...or the next Balboa?
Fuckers.

They are cute, though. I counted 15 in the yard yesterday. FIFTEEN! AT. ONCE! It was a squirrel convention. Either that or a they were gathering around a bunch of Chip N' Dale dancers. The crowd was very diverse. We have greys, reds, browns, and blacks. I was the only white squirrel. 

I'm sure this post will not be considered politically correct because we have gotten to the age that anything offends anyone even if it was not meant to do so. What do I say to that? Fuck that shit. You have to be open and able to say things or you can't start a conversation. And humor? Yes, I have lots of it. Mostly inappropriate. And I study squirrels. Of all colors. So there. 

And so here is what I have noticed: The greys are super fat...like rotund. All they do is eat. The reds are smaller and with several shades of red in their fur. The red ones upset my flower pots and bury their nuts in there. The browns are mixed with some fat, skinny, big and small. They have really bushy tails. The blacks are the fastest and prettiest. I have never seen a fat black squirrel. 

Ok. There you have it. I will keep studying them. Why? Because. I like to watch them. They are cute and funny and entertaining.

6 comments:

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
---Here's some websites that might get you outta that "stereotypical" hoodie rut:

https://www.superherostuff.com/women-superhero-hoodies.html

http://www.zazzle.com/funny+womens+hoodies

https://www.spreadshirt.com/police+hoodies+&+sweatshirts

---That should keep 'ya busy for a bit.
Yeah, the rain gets boring after a (short) while.
---LOL...falling acorns. Be glad they're not WALNUTS...or APPLES (ouch!)
---Got yourself a nice squirrel "crew" there...let's see some pics!
---Screw all the PCBS...I do!!!
---Squirrels are more entertaining than rolling a few drunks on Friday nights during last out (okay, maybe that's not the BEST analogy, but you get the drift).

Have a great weekend & roll safe down there, Kiddo.

Cheryl said...

I do think that squirrels are very cute and interesting to watch. Two of my crazy neighbors are currently in a feud right now over squirrel rights.

My immediate next door neighbor was shooting them until the neighbor next to her home (two doors down from my house), called the cops and she was cited for shooting in a densely populated area. Then she starting "live" trapping them and claiming she was taking them to a park not far from here. Hubby, however, noticed the corpses of the supposed transported squirrels in her trash can.

The neighbor that turned her in to the cops has now started a squirrel sanctuary in her yard. She has built little squirrel houses and is supplying a bevy of foods that are supposedly the same foods that squirrels would order if they were provided a menu.

I have pictures of one of the squirrel's houses but sadly can't attach them to your comment section.

The OTHER (sane) neighbors are having a whole lot of fun making fun of the escalating friction between the squirrel hater and the squirrel lover. They won't be laughing when this develops into what I can only assume in what will be called the WAR OF THE NUTS.

Allenspark Lodge said...

Fargo, I have always loved your blog, and have enjoyed reading the comments because you have wonderful and intelligent followers. But the story on the war of the nuts has reached all time comment high for me. Thanks Cheryl

lotta joy said...

In Indiana, I LOVED our squirrels. They were muscled and huge, and learned about me and Joe, and our habits. Around 6pm they'd be on our patio or looking inside the door, staring at a bowl on the table. The bowl always went outside with us and was full of nuts. Oh squirrel joy!!

They would come up to us and eat while laying at our feet.

In Florida, they look like skinny rats and no larger. I get bonked on the head with acorns and listen to them landing on my car while hoping for no dents.

They DO love tearing out the insulation from under our car's hood, and chewing up essential wires. Baaaaad part of it all.

Old NFO said...

Squirrels are also pest carriers in some places, so be careful...

MrGarabaldi said...

Hey Momma Fargo;

You need to be worried, they might be thinking of burying you for the winter, Lol. Squirrels are pest here and they raid the bird feeders here and I keep seeing them in the street flattened for misjudging cars.