My friends are trying to figure out why an entire tribe of weirdos are globbing on to me lately which have resulted in some strange encounters of the 5th Kind. They think I need to be saged. I can't say I disagree with them. Right now I am slathered in garlic, fairy dust, and crosses to deflect evil and crazy. I am not sure it is working.
Friday was a trying day of different sorts as I was called back to the Ta-Ta doctor for an additional mammogram and ultrasound. So they showed me the problem which was a huge mass in my left side. Immediately I felt sick to my stomach and tried to fight back tears. What a pussy. I don't know why it hit me hard. I was there for four hours. After talking to the doctor they determined I had hundreds of cysts on my left side which were all benign. None on my right. This was true evidence that I have been abducted by aliens since one side was perfectly healthy. My right elbow is bad. My left elbow is perfect. My neck is broken and my lungs are only 80%. My left rotator cuff is shot and my right is perfect. And my butt is too big.
Oh, yes, we can blame it all on aliens.
That's like telling a crack addict to snort soap.
Say some prayers for me. The vampires are working against me. Those blood suckers.