Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Faux News

The last few days have been interesting headline news. I have even gotten suckered in there at times. Some outlets have even included some fake news used for click baits and do not match the article or content of the problem. Isn't it funny how headlines grab your attention and affect our emotions instantly? We may or may not even read the article which may or may not match the title. Why is that? Because fake news and click baits generate advertisers and revenue and attention.

It's sad, really. How sad is it? It's just about as sad as when you say hello to someone in church and don't get a reply.

Ok. I have a tendency to let my smart ass leak out. Sorry. Back to the nitty gritty.

For instance, the articles going around about the Denver Sheriff's Department getting fined for not hiring illegal aliens. False. I even got sucked into that. It was because their wordage excluded legal residents who were not citizens of the US. It also included practices that the department ONLY considered US citizens. Big difference.

The military has a pathway to citizenship. Many foreign residents serve in the military.

Anyhoozle, back to the Homeland... so this language was considered discriminatory.

Ok. Stop the bus.



Most law enforcement organizations do not hire non-US citizens.  Why aren't those others fined? Because the language is different and they are codified. I bet the farm (and I don't even have one so it is a big gamble) that Colorado fixes their language. They will either change their hiring practices or change the laws on the books like the other states.

An excerpt from one of Caller links I shared: "More than 40 states have laws restricting non-citizens from being police officers, but Colorado is not one of them, a fact the Denver Sheriff's Department did not know, the Caller reported."

There are some that do hire non-US citizens. They are legal residents of the US and have a clearance to work here. Some are working on getting citizenship.

So what does this mean?

Many LEOs were under the assumption that no one can be a LEO unless they were a US citizen. That is true in many organizations and that is not against the federal law. Here is another case out of Oregon. 

So confusing, right? Not really.

Now back to the headline. Illegal aliens cannot be LEO in any state in the US. So some of the headlines out there were baiting people angrily toward the DOJ forcing Denver to hire illegal aliens. Not so. But...here's another thing...why in the world are you going to cripple an agency with fines? You couldn't just say...oh hey...this is against federal discrimination laws because of your language and you need to fix it. Ten hut ten hurry. You have a probationary period. And you have to go back and reach out to all those other applications you discarded and reevaluate the applicants. IF you refuse...then you will have the wrath of the federal government. Maybe that is what happened behind the scenes. We may never know. Or it might come out in sound bytes.

But the PoPo are being very "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" about it. They also cited they did not intentionally do this and were fixing it right away.

Nothing like the big clobber of government down on your head.

I know fines and sanctions are in place for a reason, but the criminal justice system needs to be reformed working together, not just by throwing a minnow out in a tank of whales and expecting them to figure it out. Let's work together. Get on the same page. Get some standards across the board. There are so many parameters all over the nation that no agency is the same. The rules are different. In some places you cannot exceed the age of 35 for application. Some have strict hiring processes. Some hire their buddies. Egads, Batman!

I have never understood why states don't work together for the professionalism of the career and standardize some things about hiring processes and lateral transfers. Slowly there are some rays of sunshine in this area, but it has taken decades. We all do the same job. Don't we want to do it best?

It doesn't mean police are going to spit out military base clones. Peace officers standards are generally the same in each state with little variances. Some agencies are super strict and some super lax in their maintenance, training, leadership development, and requirements. That's the meat and potatoes. Just having the basics isn't good enough. I call it UPKEEP.

You have to grow good LEOs.

It will be interesting to see how things pan out over the next few years and how much the federal government will try to impress upon the states for reformation.

It's a big task.


Friday, November 11, 2016

Be STEEL My Heart

Happy Veterans Day! Thank you for your service~ So much gratitude to all!




Captain's Log: (eek...fat face alert)

Captain Chaos



Day three of the Apocalypse and funny thing is I still have a job and I am still here in body, mind, and spirit. Lacking in the spirits category, however. They frown on me drinking at work.

I am sure all of you have seen some strange and bizarre behaviors from some angry Americans and others over the election. Hell, Mike Rowe even posted about licking a cat. Hilarious. I ranted about those ranting and melting down and then went silent because you can't reason with crazy. It just ain't going to happen.

Meanwhile, I laughed all the way to the bank where my 15 cents is still secure. I hope President-Elect Trump will make it grow. If not, I might give him permission to grab my pussy.

Perhaps I should get a cat before I extend that offer.

My computer screen has a big crack in it from me banging my head at the social media nonsense going around. It's like a train wreck. You can't look away. Several of my Democrat friends (yes, I have many) are posting a petition to demolish the electoral college. Now...hold the show. Didn't it work for Obama? Oh, no. Wait. He won the popular vote AND the electoral vote. See? It worked just perfect that time. But this is a 200 year old election way. We all knew going in it was this way and coming out...well, some got mad. Trump even said before the election, he didn't like the electoral vote way. It also worked for Bush, but maybe the Dems didn't like Al Gore as much as Hillary. I'm not sure which I would trust less. At least Al was not as slick and you could see him coming.

So change it? I don't know. It gives the people a voice. Make it more fair for our future? Sure, go ahead. But I don't want California or Florida to run the show and squish out the little guy it will. But whatever the people want. But you can't make it retroactive.

Let's talk about cops. If you are a user on the Faceplant...go to "Blue Blogs" and like it and follow all of us. Most are current cops. Don't think you can ambush us or target us for hate...we're right here. Come at me, bro!

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for Thou art with me. You, me, and Jesus.

Funny thing about that Jesus character.

So...I also consort with several atheists and agnostics. This one I have who was raised in a spiritual household after his alcoholic father became a born again Christian...has many doubts and some anger toward the Lord. I don't judge. I just listen.

Well, one day last week he was getting pretty full of himself and razzing me pretty good. I razz back, by the way. And then he got a little personal, so I got a lotta personal. I said, "I'm sorry you don't know me. I am a great person. But you don't take the time with your friends to get to know people."

He got a little irritated and threw back, "Bullshit. I'm sorry you don't know me. I'm sorry you don't know anything about mechanics. I'm sorry you don't know Heavy Metal..."

"I'm just sorry you don't know Jesus."

"What?" He looked truly surprised.

"I'm sorry you don't know Jesus. Not going to preach to you, of course, but such a shame. Maybe if you knew him, you wouldn't be so angry. Oh, snap! I said I wasn't going to preach. Psyche!"

Well, that shut him right up. I think I instilled some PTSD he had of his dad forcing him to go to church. Not sure where that train derailed but it sometimes happens. It's a personal choice.

I did apologize to the Lord for using him in a time of strange conversation, but I was serious about the statement even though it was a twisted moment of cracked humor.

Speaking of crack...well...sort of...




Here's a little throwback for you:

Diazepam and alcohol. It's a beautiful thing. Especially behind the wheel. Not once, but twice.

Slumped over the wheel. Engine running. Sample bottles of liquor strewn about the car. The question isn't the state of rest, but how IT got there. By IT, I mean the driver we were about to encounter.

She was thin, olive skinned, and in her 40s. Long scraggly hair, Ed Hardy knock off shirt, and sweats. Looking at her, she had a rough life. It wasn't kind to her. Weathered skin, bags under her eyes, yellowed teeth, bunions on her bare feet. Whoa. Am I describing myself? Snark intended. 

At one time she may have even been a pretty lady. But no longer. Again, is it me? Mirror, mirror...

When she poured out of the Dodge Durango, we could immediately tell she was stoned and drunk. And quite the character. Nasty. She agreed to do field sobriety maneuvers much to our surprise.

OFFICER BIG CHEESE: I am going to demonstrate the Walk and Turn. ..[and he did so]

IT: Ok. [swaying, stumbling in place, then standing still...like a statue...looking down at her feet]

BIG CHEESE: Do you understand?

IT: Yes.

BIG CHEESE : Go ahead and begin whenever you are ready.

And so she did. We walked around the entire block in Hitler high stepping action and back around again. Did we stop her? Hell to the NO! We needed a nice evening stroll and besides...what great video footage!

BIG CHEESE: Ok. Now, I am going to demonstrate the One Leg Stand....[and so he did]

IT: Yep.

BIG CHEESE: Do you understand?

IT: Yep. But I'm ambidextrous and it isn't a fair test.

ME: What?

IT: I'm ambidextrous so this test isn't fair to me. Do you know what ambidextrous means?

ME: [holding back a smile]Yes I do. I think it means you took drugs AND alcohol today before you got behind the wheel. Whether you took them both with your left hand or one in each hand is a mystery to me.

IT: No. [turning to Big Cheese] Do you know what ambidextrous means?

BIG CHEESE: It means you like Mexican food. Now go ahead and begin when you are ready.

IT: You guys are a bunch of Nazis.

ME: What?

IT: Nazis. Like Hitler. This is a Hitler test.

BIG CHEESE: I don't understand what you mean.

IT: Yeah. Hitler. Adolf Hitler. [raising her hands like the swan move in The Karate Kid]

ME: [looking at Big Cheese and shrugging my shoulders] This test is more like the swan from Karate Kid minus the wings...it would  be called the resting swan maneuver. Let me demonstrate.

And so BIG CHEESE and I demonstrated again. She had no clue. She was so stoned out of her head and stuck on Hitler and ambidextrous that she couldn't focus if she tried.


BIG CHEESE: Go ahead if you want to try the test. Whenever you are ready.

IT: [stepping with the left foot out and rotating in a circle, stepping out 6 inches each time.]

ME: What are you doing?

IT: Your test.

ME: Let me demonstrate again. You need to stand in one place, feet together, hands down at your side. Then raise one foot approximately 6 inches off the ground, point your toe, and count outloud. You will be doing this for 30 seconds. Do you understand?

IT: That's what I was doing.

ME: On what planet? I have no idea what that just was. With you...it's like we are world travelers...from Germany to Asia.

IT: You are mean. Hitler. Nazi...all of you. Even that kid...what is he 12. [referring to Lunch Money]

ME: [rolling eyes] He just turned 13.

BIG CHEESE: Do me a favor and turn around and look at that nice Blazer behind you.

IT: Why?

ME: He has some pretty bracelets, but wants to surprise you. So turn around.

IT: Oh, how neat. I like jewelry.

So she got arrested and started to whine about the cops being Nazis. On the way to jail she gave Big Cheese a voodoo curse. I told him it was probably real, because when we did the towing inventory on her vehicle, she had SECRET SOCIETY letters of acceptance and books on code and voodoo curses. I tole him he should heed her warning.

Because she had taken 20 Diazepam and drank who knows how much Vodka, Big Cheese took her to the ER. The place was packed. So...he left her with Security because she was like a wounded fly and not a flight risk. Besides...she did circles. He was to pick her up after 3-4 hours. During the examination waiting time...the security guards stepped away from the rubber room for a few moments...probably to fetch a donut. She escaped. Obtaining another car...she again hit the streets of Gotham City.

DISPATCH: Units...copy for an Accident with Injuries...appears the car is stuck into the bank wall and the driver is trying to run away.

Yep. Sure enough... she ran the car right into one of our bazillion banks. Just so happened to be mine.

ME: Well, you sure are ambidextrous, alright. We have a DUI for your left and right side.

IT: *blink*blink*

It wasn't the first night of double DUIs on the same person. We had three of them. The other two were bonded out by sober drivers and taken home. Then they got into their second vehicles and drove drunk again. It's becoming an epidemic. Pete and Repeat. Ambidextrous or something.




Monday, November 7, 2016

Paint Me Crazy

Hello, the house! Why do you guys stick around here? I've been pretty lackadaisical in posting random crazy thoughts to entertain your presence. I apologize.

Life has kind of taken over me and college life has totally consumed me, I am afraid.



Today I am on the Momster hit list with my child. Seems she thinks she can run the place and I took away her after school fun. She does not listen to me when I say ..."It is gone." I said that one week ago. So last week she has been sucking up to me and cleaning the house, right? I didn't even ask. She went above her normal chores. Today she wanted to "remind" me that she is staying after school with her friend on Tuesday and Thursday to lift weights and workout at the school gym. She claims she wants to be stronger for track in April. I believe this is just a social hour for teenagers as there are several teen buddies there. Why?  Because she has a nice garage gym at home. Paint me crazy.



Well, it took 1.6 seconds for her to turn right back into Satan after I told her, "No. You lost that privilege. That means for good. Perhaps you could make a permanent change in respecting your mom. We can revisit the idea next semester."

Wow. Satan threatened me with "her dad". I said, "Go ahead. He isn't here, is he? What will he say? Hmm...that you can workout at home? Why don't you try that."

So yeah. I guess at least the teenager battles continue to remain a constant in my household.

I fall in love with my dogs more and more so every day. Men...well, you know. I can't seem to meet the one who will treat me right and I am constantly a giver, attracted to takers.

Whiskey-tango-foxtrot.

Anyhoozle, this semester is almost over and I am on the verge of an anxiety attack from all the deadlines and big papers due soonly. Paint me crazy. Wait, didn't I say that already?

The election is upon us. Hope you all vote the way your informed decision takes you!

Happy Monday!