Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Training Wheels

I might be working on republishing this after the Queen has helped me revamp it. It looks and reads much better. What is it, you say? Guess. Here's an excerpt.

Not only was my mind loaded with training material, scheduling, motherhood, and normal life but my home was in the flood zone of the North Platte River. The water was rising daily and I was concerned it would wash away my dream home. Sandbags and preparation were underway at home. I still had to work and I couldn’t freak out on something I couldn’t control.

Outside interferences plague us all the time, but I had to keep my mind on the rookie and Wheels was a sponge, trying to soak up everything he could learn. Actually, he was to the point where it was annoying sometimes. 

Wheels had soaked up all the academy ways of conducting a traffic stop. Now it was my turn to undo all of that and transform Robocop into a Casper Police officer. His first traffic stop was not pretty. He pulled over a vehicle for drag racing and made contact with the driver.

WHEELS: Sir, I pulled you over for drag racing. Do you have any legal justification for doing that?

ME: *blink*blink*   
DRIVER: *blink*blink*

WHEELS: Well, do you?

ME: *blink*blink* [roll eyes}


Back in the car Wheels decided to write the driver a ticket. Like any good trainer, I had to question his train of thought and interrupt his process. At this time in the game, he could not multi-task, so he had to put down his pen and talk to me. I was a ruthless trainer and I didn’t “soften” anything. I pretty much always laid it right out there.

ME: What in the hell are you asking him that crap for?

WHEELS: Yeah, after I said that, twice no less, I felt stupid.

ME: How does it feel?

WHEELS: To be stupid?

ME: Yep. That. Do you have any legal justification for being stupid?

WHEELS: [laughs] Uh. No.

ME: Carry on, Soldier.


I just needed to say that the Cleveland Abduction movie was a shockumentary. It isn't even a documentary film, obviously. But I am calling it that. I can watch about anything. It isn't even rated XXX or double gross. It really bothered me. There were times I shut it off. Then...I thought...nope. You have to watch this because it happened and you need to see it from a victim's side.

While I love, Raymond Cruz, I almost didn't recognize him in this movie. And he was nasty as Ariel.

If you really want to understand only a FRACTION of what victims go through...then watch it. If you have been a victim of a personal crime...then I say...maybe not a good idea. If you love animals...don't watch it.

It was disturbing.

The movie left me scarred, but it will callous over. No worries.

Did you ever watch Tom Cruise in The Fourth of July? I only have watched that movie once. That should set the stage for this one.

Same effect as House of Sand and Fog. There is no reason to watch it again.

Anyway...it also left me rallying again for the victims.

There is so much more work to be done to help any victim of any kind. Remember that. You don't know what they have been through. Each victim is different.

These are survivors.

I want all victims to be survivors and not victims. Bless their hearts.

We have a long way to go.

Happy @*th day of the Year 2016!


I hope your Christmas was merry and bright. I had a very nice one indeed.

So did my belly, feasting on all my friends' goodies. Boy. Does that ever need work now. Either that or I can just head to the North Pole and help Santa.

Today...a moment of silence for those lost over the holiday. I heard about husbands and wives, etc. Not a good time to lose those you love. Also...farewell to George Michael, Carrie Fisher, George S. Irving, Red Lane, etc. etc. Is it fair to et cetera everyone? It sounds so impersonal.

Sorry. In advance. Or actually retrospect.

In other news...Donald Trump goes down in history for the most mercurial Tweets. I wish people would stop setting him off like a Kindgergarten bully.  Meanies. I need more popcorn. And possibly a beer.

I think he is bi-polar and needs meds. I'm serious about that. Many brilliant and artistic people are bi-polar or suffer from mental illness. I am not making fun. I am only armchair diagnosing the man.

I can only imagine Ivanka might have the best looking wig in town. Why? Because she has to be pulling her hair out. Recently, some friends have indicated they wished she was the next president. I like her too.

So far...I am blowing kisses to 2016 and looking forward to new things in 2017. I hope it is a good year for everyone.


You still need to go out to all your favorite stores and stock up on things, find your safe place. It's a very scary world out there. Why?

Because I get paid to say that.

Well, at least it could boost the economy some.

Just kidding.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

Bob G. is the lucky winner of the big contest! Whoop! Whoop!

Thank you for all who played along.

No, he doesn't get a Lucille.

He does receive a Stephen King book series set, a spartan challenge coin, local Indiana products, and gift card.

I have to give a big shout out to the anonymous donors who gave the items for my readers. Sorry, they don't want to be recognized, but all did it over coffee when I mentioned doing a contest for fun. They said..."why not make it more fun with prizes!" Tada!

Much love for them. They are wonderful local old farts and friends.

Today is the last day for me to be getting my last minute shopping and things done for Christmas. It is truly a Charlie Brown Christmas and I am OK with that. I told Bug I was focusing on the meal and we could celebrate by being in our jammies all day, watching Christmas movies and napping. We will go to the midnight service at our church on Saturday.

I hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas!

Much love to you and see you after the big day!

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Check Please!

One thing many civilians may not realize when winter rushes in and they are tucked away in their nice warm homes equipped with hot cocoa and blankies, is that the PoPo are out in the elements. Defending your honor, your castle, your sanctuary...and nowadays safe space. 

Equally as grueling is working as the PoPo in 117 degrees while wearing multiple layers and a vest. 

Ok. Maybe not. But you get my snow drift. 

We had no choice. It was do or be unemployed. How many sick days or vacation days do you have for inclement weather? And that's not really cool either. People frown on fair weather cops. So we have to suck it up and go out there. 

I don't miss working in these winds recorded yesterday...

It would have appeared that Casper won the prize...until later...
Give those Clark people a beer!
I wonder if a human can stand up in that kind of gust?
Wanna try? Let's play human bowling pins.

I feel pretty warm and fuzzy to have been privileged to have watched all this from the comforts of my desk. Outside...it was a balmy 4 degrees by the time I got to work. One thing over this direction we do have is ice...freezing rain. Well, Fargo...numb-nuts....did not put the car in the garage during all this and woke up to a Vader Popsicle. Who looked like a first class boob outside with a blow dryer at 5:30 a.m. trying to thaw the doors? Yeah. Me. It rose up to a nice 4 degrees by the time I got to the office...

OK... back to the point of this post... don't forget our boys and girls in blue and other colors who have to work in this stuff...icy roads...below zero temps...whiny citizens...winds...yuck. 

They don't get to hide in an office. 

Sometimes they can retreat to their patrol car if the wind doesn't knock the door back in their faces when they get in and out. Yep. Don't miss those black eyes either. 

And not everyone looks as great as I do in those fur hats...

This is me...1)wishing upon a star...2)posing in summer wearing a winter hat...3)trying out sexy lip poses...4)this is not me.

I think we all need to have some compassion and buy them a warm cup of coffee from time to time. A meal would be nice. Unless you worked for my department and those things would be considered gratuities and you could get fired for accepting kindness. What a crock. I understand why people administrators don't go down that road, but an anonymous kind gesture is not easily refused when the bill is paid or the coffee is on the table. Then what? 

Who wore it better? 

Here is a good summary from Clearwater Police Department: 

A gratuity is the receipt of free meals, services, or discounts. Nonfederal police usually do not regard these as forms of corruption ("not another lecture on the free cup of coffee or police discount"). These are considered fringe benefits of the job. Nevertheless, they violate the Code of Ethics because they involve financial reward or gain, and they are corruption because the officer has been placed in a compromising position where favors (a "fix") can be reasonably expected in the future. When there is an implied favor (a "wink and nod"), it's called "mooching". When the officer is quite blatant about demanding free services, it's called "chiseling".

Gratuities often lead to things like kickbacks (bribery) for referring business to towing companies, ambulances, or garages. Further up the scale comes pilfering, or stealing (any) company's supplies for personal use. At the extreme, opportunistic theft takes place, with police officers skimming items of value that won't be missed from crime scenes, property rooms, warehouses, or any place they have access to. Theft of items from stores while on patrol is sometimes called "shopping".

And I could add that we all might be familiar with the theory of the Slippery Slope. So that is why the brass nuts stop the buck before it gets passed. Here is a comparison again taken from the Clearwater Police Department using the Broken Window theory to explain the Slipper Slope. 

The Slippery Slope theory is curiously similar to the law enforcement "Broken Window" theory of urban decay: if a neighborhood allows a broken window to go un-repaired, residents will overlook trash; then ignore decaying properties; then accept street crimes; and ultimately a continual degradation of the neighborhood, allowing crime to flourish.

So what changed all this? September 11, 2001. We can be forever grateful. Blah. Maybe society would have molded our philosophies this way anyway, but at that moment in time...we were awakened and police life changed drastically and RIGHT NOW. There were no choices. There was no discussion. Society defines the blue line. Events define the blue line. It is what it is. 

I still pick up the tab. I still buy the coffee. Fuck the rules. I know my gestures are pure of heart. And there is always that free show of love of the blue line...

Go hug a cop. 

But give notice of incoming affection prior to landing. 

Monday, December 19, 2016

Tweetle Tweetle Little Star...

Ahoy... all ye merry gentlemen and feisty women!

We shall announce a winner this week of the contest. I have the name of the person in my hot little hands (No relation to Trump) and if you guessed the letter "F", you will be in that bucket. The F Bucket. Fitting, isn't it?

What do you win?

Well, that will be shown in the same post as the winner's name.

I could not announce it today because it is December 19th, the day of the Electoral College and we certainly can't take away their thunder.

There is much in the news. Go seek it and ye shall find...a pot full of lies and crazy junk amongst some truth and facts mixed with a forecast of bias. That's about it. I have really tried to unplug from the news because I can't stand it. All they do is use their platform to hate on Trump and I am sick of it. It won't change a lick. It does no good to spew hate of any sort. Just do some good. It's Christmas for fuck's sake.

I know.

That was inappropriate. I think I am out of popcorn, so everything has lost its entertainment value.

I can only hope someone takes away Donald Trump's Twitter before any more ridiculous tweets go viral. But then what will we do? It's like the first world war to be started by Twitter. I laugh when the stupid tweets come out and they blame it on someone tweeting on Donald's behalf. Like...Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde? HmmK. Tell me some more bullshit. Take his account away and ban him from the internet. 

Finals week is over and I made it through my first semester of grad school. Possibly have A's. I am on pins and needles and I might cry if I have a B...just like I did when I was a kid. Why is it so important? Because if I get lower than a B (B- or below) I have to repay back my tuition remission. Egads! That is a lot of money and Fargo would go broke. So... I like to keep myself afloat...above the red line.

It's Christmas week. Celebrate. Be generous. Be giving. Love.

That's an order. It's the LAW.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Am I Back In Wyoming?

And 10 minutes later...
Not sure what will happen when we reach our high of 12 degrees...

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Last Call

Last call. Not for the beer, nor your death. For the contest.

I love this guy.

This weekend, I will select a winner of the prize from this post contest.

If you want some Lucille...you best go enter. The prize is worth $100.00 and has been donated for the cause. It is nice. I want it myself. But alas, I can't have it. I have to give it away. Meanies.

So let me show you some issues that will arise if you let things slip. Why? Because I am all about learning. I learn from myself every single day. I learn from others. I like to share.

Information, that is.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Here is my nice clean baby Lucille, minus the handle and the barbed wire.

But she wasn't always like this.

As I jested with GunDiva on Facebook...It she is so clean right now, you could eat off it her Very naughty sounding, isn't it? Rightfully so. That's why on Facebook, I put "it" in place of "her" and got bonked about being gender neutral.

Before this baby was with edible surface, it was filthy. I had left it in the holster for many moons (clean and oiled) but I didn't check it for many moons and it got gummy. OMG. I fired about 200 rounds through it which isn't many and got all kinds of stove pipes and yada yada.

I was like..WTF?

Yeah. Filthy.

So you should learn that you have to keep your weapon clean and properly oiled and CHECK IT after you do so regularly. Why? Because the only stove pipe you want to experience is in training or practice, not when you look like a monkey fucking a football in the heat of a battle. Duh. And get your firearm inspected and overhauled by a certified armorer in between times. They are devices that go bang most of the time, but they can malfunction or bad ammo can destroy them.

As far as ammo goes...think of it this way...do you go out in the world and pick any old stick to go in the hoohah? Or do you want the good stuff? It's like bad sex. And yes, there is such a thing. You want to prevent dust, diseases, gummy build up, decay, and rotten crotch on your body, so why wouldn't you do the same for your firearm? It's just a thought.

So before the baby was clean and presentable again...there was this...HOLY BALLZ...that's only part of the mess. It just kept going and going and you should see the wire brush. Egads! Chunks. WTF? Well, humidity is not my friend. So now I have learned in this new environment that we need different products and more frequent upkeep.

On the ammo note...I got handed that cheap shit ammo from my department long ago and decided...fuck it...I'm going to go out and get good stuff and not ruin my gun nor have something blow up in my face. Do it. It is worth it. You can get sale prices...but don't buy bullshit ammo, cleaning products, or substandard equipment.

Unless you want to die. It's up to you.

So...now maybe you should enter the contest. It's just a thought.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

United Airlines

Happy holidays!

I am really over all these rude fuckers. they are everywhere. People I know. People I don't know. Fuck. It's the holidays. It's supposed to be grand. Get a grip, people! Stop whining and crying and start celebrating friends and family. And celebrate nature...

It's snowing outside. Nonstop. Yippee!

I am excited. However, it makes for stupid drivers. I need a big inner tube to encircle my car. 

I just pray. A lot. For safety. 

The holidays are killing me softly. Like I'm Roberta Flack. Soft as in around the middle. I have been neglecting my heavy workouts for about two weeks now. I am back on track this week, but the sugar crack keeps getting dumped on us at work. Struggle bus.

I hate genetics when they don't work in my favor. Before I had a uniform that had to fit, so it was easier...and motivation...and reason...and peer pressure. And well, I had to be tougher than the last asshole that tried to beat up the PoPo. That survival mode is still in there, but it is buried behind some Chinese almond cookies right now. I am attempting to resist all crack attacks. But have no fear, I will plod on and be ready for the Spartan race I signed up for on a super discount. I think. My gosh. It's coming fast. Help me!

I think I need to write myself a ticket. Fat zone type. 

It's finals week and I am winding down. So glad. 

NOT glad to start over again. 

I think I have decided not to go during the summer, but I don't know for sure yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm sure I won't do that. Summers are for fun. And projects around the house. And work, of course.

There is really nothing out there to say that would interest you. I just wanted you to know that I am not dead. You know this because Fargo rambles and randomness are known to you and no one could duplicate this in my name.

Oh...wait...I got to go to an indoor range and shoot my gun and clean it. That was fun.

And here is a picture of a rock.
I always knew I loved him.
Oh, I do have news. The cops have not recovered any of my tools nor captured the rat bastard burglars. I'm trying not to stew about it. BUT...alas...I am still miffed. I really have thought about investigating my own case and then I thought...NO I WILL NOT BE THAT kind of ex-officer. But...DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO DO SURVEILLANCE OR SEARCH WARRANTS OR CATCH A CRIMINAL (not the board game)????  On that note, I better deflect and redirect...

Have a great day! Thank you for flying!

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

State of Policing The Police

Did anyone catch the DOJ's State of Policing report just out? It's pretty impressive. Many pages. Many, many pages. Too many to count. Or read. I just skimmed it. Not really. I read the whole damn thing.

I think they have copied things from my blog and my research at college. Those bastahds. I should sue. Or maybe it's just the obvious what has been addressed by the fake news. Probably that.

It's so politically correct and all hip, too.

Ok. It is a good report, but I think although it has some great points, it left some stuff out. Go see for yourself. The state of law enforcement has some reformation to undertake which is no easy task and no cheap task. It is a profession. Treat them like professionals. Be picky. Be strict. Be fair.

Oh, I could go on, but my diplomacy just ran out.


Can we get an order of  FRIES with that NO FILTER, please?

Oh speaking of NO FILTERS...did you know liberals are actually throwing away PC and getting really mad? It's not all warm and fuzzy anymore. They have real feelings! Especially nowadays. The latest set them off...Donald Trump is announced as TIME magazine's Person of The Year. It is so funny to see the comments about this. When Obama graces the cover it is a positive affirmation and honor. When Donald Trump is on it....the naysayers say it is not always an honor to be chosen.

Well...I of solid mind do know that it is not always an honorable dealio like AWARD or TROPHY. It's a participation ribbon. The person on there has some influence, negative, positive, change, blah blah blah.

Participation ribbon. Same as the one given Obama in 2012. Or Putin. Geesh. Maybe. I think it was slanted because Obama's picture was better and more flattering. And the title this year...so typically negative next to a Republican figure: DIVIDED STATES OF AMERICA. Well, that is true, but Obama is the President of the DIVIDED STATES OF AMERICA right now. Asshats.

The media just keeps getting worse...more EVILER (that is a word) and negatively slanted one direction. I can't take it. I have been glancing and clicking off a lot.

In other news...


The contest continues. It's a non-socialist contest. I am sorry but not everyone wins. It's random. Refer to the previous post. Get on it. It closes soon. Your chances are really, really good. This is going to be a great contest...really, really great. The greatest of them all.

We are going to make it great again.

Truly, we can all be winners in our own minds, but you have to work really, really hard in life. Sometimes you get lucky. Like on here. One person will get lucky...in the contest. Stop thinking in the gutter. Think a different kind of "lucky."

It's not like someone is going to go grabbing up all the kitties or anything.

But they need to be stroked and loved, too.

                                                                                  Cuz they are cute.


You thought I meant something else.

Where are your minds? It's the holidays! You should be thinking of sugar plums and candy canes and pussies cute fuzzy stuffed toys!

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

How About A Little Lucille?

I have no idea why the holidays brings about watching war movies. Bug insisted on watching American Sniper last night. Bizarre. She didn't want to watch Krampus, but I made her watch that the night before.


We might not be a normal family.

But soon...we shall watch Miracle on 34th Street and It's A Wonderful Life and all that.

And how about  The Walking Dead? It sucks. Ballz. Like dragon ballz. Except Eugene. I think he is stealing my lines. I loved, "I would like to take it back to awkward silence now." And Negan. I love Negan.

It's time to play a game. The people with the right answers will be thrown into a drawing for a prize which I will gladly mail to the winner. It's a good prize. At least I think so. And no...you don't get to know what it is until you get it. Why? Because it is a SUR prize. I know that isn't even spelled right. Who cares? It's free. Take it.

Don't worry...I will list the right answerers in another post and then announce the winner in another post and you can message me with your mailing address. So...yeah...you have to read some more posts before you drop off this site. Get it? Got it? Good marketing, right? Ha.

Multiple choice-"All I want for Christmas is_______________":

A) To beat the tar out of the burlgars...with LUCILLE. Oh, and world peace. 
B) My tools back.
C) School books because they are very very expensive.
D) A and C
E) B and C
F) All of the above.
G) None of the above.

Oh, and hint: I don't have insurance on the tools.  

Today is difficult. I want to go home and curl up in a blankie with my puppies. Why? Because I feel lazy, that's why. Some days I am not a badass.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Christmas Joy and HUD?

Amidst the Trump Twitter wars...

and holiday events...

... my life has become a normal spiritual holiday time. Here is my naked holiday video with a song for all of you...

I really needed that. It made me feel pretty.

After all, it took a while to exorcise the devil from within me after the burglary. I still am paranoid and scared of a second one. But...for now...I am turning my attention to the holidays.

Bug is full of enthusiasm to decorate and of course has given her mother an impossible list to fill but with the disclaimer: "It's OK if  you can't afford most of this."

Do their lists get more expensive with age? I believe so.

It's nice she recognizes her mother is poor, but I wish I could give her the sun, moon, and stars without giving her no sense of appreciation or instilling over-entitlement or disregarding any appreciation of the American dollar along with that spoilage.

I always drag her along for donating for Toys for Tots. But I still don't think she gets it. Well, I tried.

Photo credit: Someone brilliant on Pinterest

We got into the Christmas spirit by going to a Christmas walk in town and now tomorrow, our town has the annual tree lighting festivities with hot cocoa and cookies on every corner. Be still my sugar tooth. I must not indulge. I refuse to gain the holiday 15...or is it 5?

And just when I am full of the Christmas spirit...our news outlets report some strange occurrence. Meanwhile...Trump nominates Carson for HUD dude? Really? Whiskey-tango-foxtrot. Is it one of those moments where he goes..."PSYCH! I was really really going to say Surgeon General."

Bless the souls lost in the fires in Tennessee and Oakland. Grr. I have no words.

Friday, December 2, 2016

Put Your Left Foot Out

I am full of joy, Master Chief!

Not really. I do feel Satan is leaving my body, however.

So what gives? Nothing. Nothing gives except time. Time to dissipate anger. I passed it around. Everyone near to me is so happy with this and you're welcome.

In the news? It's quite gloomy out there. Fires. Riots. Protesters yanking tree lights off Christmas displays. Shootings. Knifings. Crazy shit. And the leftists blame it on the right. Let's take a poll and find out how many of those suspects are Republicans. Oh, snap. Fargo is full of snark. Is it true? Is it true that Satan has been driven out and our old Fargo is appearing?

I don't know. I still feel some fiery anger in there. It makes me frown a lot while I walk around.

But I would wager a banana salad and a coffee those folks up there creating some issues going beyond just peaceful protesting... are mostly undeclared, Independents, or Democrats. Mostly leftists.

The Faceplant has been so full of daily rants and ridicules. I have never heard of so many people defriended their family and friends over someone they have never met or invited over for dinner. So..you just exorcised Aunt Mary from your Facebook friends because she voted for Trump? You just defriended five friends because of their daily Democrat rants? Really? We have grown such thin skins. It might be age at our stage in the game. THEY say skin gets thin as we grow old. Anyway...wow. You could just click on the notifications and not get them in your newsfeed or ignore their tantrums and political rants. Just a suggestion.

I like to stir them up. Put my two cents out there.

It's quite interesting. I find it a good study of human behavior.

Hold my beer...watch this.

Many of my friends still seek out their safe spaces. Meanwhile, I am eating popcorn and drinking wine and enjoying the shit show.

Who let the dogs out? Roof. Yeah. We are not only talking about pets...but MAD DOGS. On some chaotic news of epic glory....Trump is nominating Mattis. I hope he gets an exception. I like the guy. I don't know him personally, but I like him for that job. I think part of that position is you have be super intelligent and up to date on military innards and outtards and all that jazz but also a bit ruthless. I think Mattis is a nice ruthless. He does it in a diplomatic hard stance way.

And the voter recount thingy? Nicccceeee. What a waste of millions of dollars. Could have done some real good for charity work. Isn't it funny how millions get thrown at stuff like that, but we can't get our own country out of poverty. Hmm...

I think I need some new shoes. Oh. Look. Macy's sale!

Still to this day, there is a division and it still gets fed by the media and accelerated to epic proportions. The anchors bring out their party colors and if studio materials weren't made well, I would expect to see things destroyed in tantrums, rage fits and throw downs, or pencil slamming.

Insert more popcorn.

Enjoy the show. This is free shit we don't get every day.