The Hoodie Times

Wassup?

I'm sure by the title of this post, you think I am going to write about thugs. Why? Because people associate hoodies with criminals. It's called stereotyping. So not right. I wear hoodies all the time,especially when I run in the cold. So...think outside the box. Just like you should think outside the box after you read this entire post of inappropriateness. At least that is what some of you will think when you read below. But my thoughts are actually not bias or inappropriate at all.

It is raining. All. The. Time.

I can't get outside work done because there is not enough sunshine. And if there is a glimpse of it, I am working or I say..."Ok. Time to work outside." Then I get out there and it rains. WTF.

It's that time of year where I need to wear protection. A lot.

From.the.squirrels.

See...they are gathering right now and preparing for winter. What does this mean? This means Fargo gets hit on the head by acorns. Every. Fucking. Day.

So if I go outside, I pretty much have to wear a hard hat.

Fargo hard hat attire...or the next Balboa?

Fuckers.

They are cute, though. I counted 15 in the yard yesterday. FIFTEEN! AT. ONCE! It was a squirrel convention. Either that or a they were gathering around a bunch of Chip N' Dale dancers. The crowd was very diverse. We have greys, reds, browns, and blacks. I was the only white squirrel. 

I'm sure this post will not be considered politically correct because we have gotten to the age that anything offends anyone even if it was not meant to do so. What do I say to that? Fuck that shit. You have to be open and able to say things or you can't start a conversation. And humor? Yes, I have lots of it. Mostly inappropriate. And I study squirrels. Of all colors. So there. 

And so here is what I have noticed: The greys are super fat...like rotund. All they do is eat. The reds are smaller and with several shades of red in their fur. The red ones upset my flower pots and bury their nuts in there. The browns are mixed with some fat, skinny, big and small. They have really bushy tails. The blacks are the fastest and prettiest. I have never seen a fat black squirrel. 

Ok. There you have it. I will keep studying them. Why? Because. I like to watch them. They are cute and funny and entertaining.

The Presidential Debate Gave Me Butt Zits

Hello, mateys!

I have been remiss in paying attention to matters of writing. I apologize and I am here to get back on the wagon. Recently, my family buried a great man...my grandfather. He lived a long and happy life of 98 years and I can only find comfort in the fact he is with grandma again. I will greatly miss that man. He was the most honorable man on earth. No one could compare. NO ONE. I always hoped for a marriage and family such as the one my grandparents cherished because it was withstanding of time and full of all kinds of love. I'm not saying it was perfect, but dang near. Someday, perhaps I will have that wonderful match with someone. If not, I have dogs.

Here is my latest from the educational site: criminaljusticedegree.com and it might be a tad methodical and boring. You be the judge.

Getting to my grandpa's funeral within a half hour of its start and missing 24 hours of time with my family and his wake was utter hell. Thank you, Mother Nature, and United Airlines. Actually, I am giving you the finger. Returning was no fun either and not weather related. If I ever see the inside of O'Hare again, I am afraid I might curl up in the fetal position.

Now that I am in the groove and have figured out all nighters as a grad student, I can settle into a routine without panic. Somewhat. I still get anxiety over assignments but once they are completed, I feel relief. My research project is a little steep for my hill climb, but I will get it done. I should have chosen the flat easy route, but then that wouldn't be me.

Monday proved to be a pain in the ass. Watching the presidential debate gave me butt zits. Have you ever noticed they don't go away and take FOREVER to heal? Don't pick at your butt and certainly don't pop them. They linger. Kind of like the nasty thoughts and opinions I have on the debate. But I won't get into that. I'm sure you can decipher that all by yourselves.

I continue to boycott the NFL. Why? I'm not feeling it. I watch scores and that is about it. Maybe it had something to do with all the protests or maybe because watching football seems to be a waste of my time. I'd rather watch paint dry these days. Am I growing up or am I growing old? Who knows.

My workout plan is still on track, but my Obi is off to a foreign land for some business, so I am sad and alone for two whole weeks. Ice cream? Cake? No. Just kidding. I will stay on track, but surely will lose some muscle strength. Job security for him, right? Yes. I believe so. I kind of like the dude anyway.

Lessons Learnt

Lord, have mercy!

Amen.

It is a miracle I have survived this week. I finished my assignments early. What do I mean by that? I mean that I didn't post them to Blackboard during my usual time. For example, they are due at midnight on Friday and by 6:30 PM on Wednesday. I mean to tell ya, I posted them suckers on Monday. Why? I have no idea. Maybe I am adulting and prioritizing my time. Or perhaps because I have a paper and book to read..due when? Oh, yeah. Next Monday and Friday on top of regular assignments, a research project, and a group research project. College ain't no joke.

I look around my classes and these whippersnappers got it down pat. Nothing phases them and they are all "A+" smarty pants. Stress of being a single mom and having a full time job? Nope. But they are going to school full time and working and whatever they do these days.

One minute, they are out of touch with reality and the next I am truly amazed by their critical thinking and working through problems. I have been enjoying all of them. In my classes, I think we have the cream of the crop.

Yes, this is my bastardinzing art work. Love it or hate it. 

And where is my Bug in all this mix? Melting down. I have left her to figure things out on her own with rides to volleyball practice, schoolwork, and chores. I have found I did too much and she is independently strong willed and bullheaded, but not functioning well in the self sufficient category. My heart strings get tugged, but then she acts like her dad and I get over it.

The tantrums, the disrespect, the snapper mouth. Mmmm. Yeah. It makes my blood boil. So much so I find I have to do a lot of "woosawing" so I am not going to jail for the beatings that go on in my head. If I so much as talked a "little" smidge of what she does to my parents? Uh no. My head would have been through a sheetrock wall. And back then we had wood paneling, so...yeah.

I am being tested. Not just in college.

And my mother skills are being overtaken by my street skills. Not good. Please grant me patience and wisdom during these trials.

On a great note, PoliceOne.com republished one of my articles from Uniform Stories and it is reaching another heated controversy with those haters and lovers of Fargo humor. Take a look see if you wish here. I have to thank many of my blue family for standing up for me when their friends on Facebook take it in a negative way. I really have some backup and I can't love them enough. It's OK if people disagree or even hate it. I just think they also don't get me, my humor, nor that it is my opinion with a little snark and sass. But hey...if it goes viral again...wheeehaw!

See...stress is not doing me good. I am wearing my bitch face often.
Actually, this was a road rage incident captured on camera...while driving but stopped in traffic.
Sue me. Do as I say not as I do. 

Thank you, Lord, for these lessons. Amen.

Blue Motion

It's a conversation which has started but isn't showing much progressive change. How do we improve racial tensions and the ever increasing uprising over law enforcement involvement with race and diversity? First, we can't fix things based upon false narratives. It becomes a disadvantage for each side if one has to admit to the falsies. (Not to be associated with fake boobs, although the words could be used interchangeably). But we all acknowledge there are problems, uprisings, and tension. As a counteraction to the disgruntlement, outbursts, protesting, and violence, we all should believe improvement has to be made.

Sad, but truly felt by LEOs

What are the police doing?

1. Police are getting more training and trying to filter back into community policing by building public trust through programs and events. Community policing has never gone away in law enforcement. They are just beefing up its importance and trying to add more substance to the concept. Additionally, they are using community partnerships to help build a bridge and gain public trust. When our department introduced this concept decades ago, they encouraged going back to some "walk beats" so officers could have face to face communication with neighbors and business owners to build community relationships and in turn be partners in intel information and combating crime.

2. Community volunteering has become more of policy and sponsorship rather than a suggestion. Many departments have affiliated themselves with Special Olympics, March of Dimes, United Way, and other non-profits. Cities are also hosting blue line sports events. In the past Shop With A Cop has been popular at Christmas time. A shocker to many is these programs have been in place for decades, but go virtually unnoticed until now when the media puts spotlight on them or agencies highlight the events. These interactions and "meshing"as I call it,  is still important and may continue taking shape again in one form or another and additionally through events, food drives, housing projects, neighborhood watch programs, community meetings, etc.

3. Public service announcements, social media campaigns, and marketing. Police is now a business. Before it was just a service branch of government. With the technology changing, police are joining the club and interacting on the interwebs and also various media outlets. Any way to get a positive message and transparency out there...they are doing.

4. More PIOs or public information officers are being filtered into the community for two-way conversations and discussions. The officer delivering announcements and trusted information-who brings the press releases is now a public figure and not just a company mouthpiece.

5. Image boosting through diversity hires, policy change, community partnerships, and transparency. The police are trying their best to build the gaps and gain trust through any means possible. Liaisons from various community groups and organizations become beneficial in connecting with citizens. Online sites and groups such as Humanizing the Badge, Uniform Stories, and The Thin Blue Line among others are putting the word out about inside knowledge and interworkings of cops. Cops are tweeting!

6. Citizen groups formed by friends and family such as "Back the Blue" campaigns,"Sea of Blue" Facebook groups, and "police gear or swag" to distribute to supporters.

7. Going back to the basics: How To Talk To People, Personal Delivery, Culture Sensitivity, and Interpersonal Communications.

8. Body Cameras. Welcome to Youtube where your worst moments are captured by police and released for public enjoyment. Or to counter a false claim. Or to vindicate a victim. Or for that simple thing of TRANSPARENCY that the public demands.

So that's not all, but that's some. My fingers are tired and I have to save them for my grad school papers. Can you think of things I haven't mentioned? What ideas and/or solutions do you think are needed?

Quirky Jerks

The title says it all for what you get in today's free episode of crazy. I have no words for myself today. It's like I short circuit from stress overload and this is what you get. You are most welcome!

Hey- piddle diddle,
The cat continues to fiddle.
My pancakes are burned on the griddle.
I think that's a John Denver song he sang to a riddle.
Cows can't jump over the moon,
Nor can dishes run away with utensils-so put away your spoon.
Suppose you could Photoshop those scenes in super dooper well.
But in the meantime, you should stop and read this for a spell.
I say, pause being silly and playing with your willy.
And sit for bit-maybe a while-damn sure with a smile.

Yep. I missed my calling-bastardizing Mother Goose and songwriters while making nonsensical poems.

My poem makes about as much sense as Hillary Clinton's illness issues. Does she just have the flu or a more serious form of manginitis?  That would the question. The media is going berserk over conspiracy theories. And we feed right into it.

In fact, we feed into everything the media spoon feeds to us.

Funny thing is we can't look away and the media can't do responsible reporting. It's a train wreck bound to happen in the middle of a playground.

Grad school gets better with time just like wine only not as enjoyable. Big projects are coming up fast and I am pretty much in panic mode from now until the end of semester. The good thing is so far I have A's in my classes so I hope I can keep up the efforts. And here we go with a group project....*shudder*. I have a good group so I think we will do well. I am mostly worried about keeping up with their level and speed. Go old girl! Go old girl!

Fools Rush In

Tally ho!

Needs for Fargo

After this week, I need to go into the mountains and have a spa retreat next to a hot springs resort with people pampering me like a princess. I can do it for free. In my mind. Gah.

Harry Potter Shorts-Not Clothing

Bug and I have decided the the bathtub/shower combo is just gross and not relaxing nor pleasant to take a soaker even if we Clorox each others gunk out of there beforehand. Plus it is narrow. I would really like a hot tub. THAT would be the bomb diggedty. I miss mine that I had at the River War Haus.

So...in lieu of that thought, I will be going home after work to hook myself up to the traction machine my insurance company paid for lock, stock, and barrel. Thank you, Anthem. My right arm is constantly numb or tingly and no bueno.

Uniform Stories is still on hold. I am not sure if I will be retained by the new company. If you feel like helping me out...please look up my stories and pass them around like a hot potato on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or rate, comment, or like. Here is the linky dink...

I thought for sure we were getting violated by the crash in the parlor but it was just Murphy trying to chase this guy through the window. Glass Stops Dog Like A Freight Train should be the headlines.

Yes, that is a black squirrel. 

5 Second News

Is anyone keeping up with the North Dakota pipeline protests and the treatment of the Native Americans? In their favor, the judge did rule. So let's see what happens. I saw some pics of the oil field gurus being quite physical. I have yet to determine how that got out of control. Seems they would have been less dumb to call in the sheriff right away just to stand by to keep the peace instead taking matters into their own hands. BUT...I don't know the whole story. Yet. I'm sure all the faux news outlets will keep us apprised.

In super short news...the bashing of Matt Lauer could be made into a book. Poor man. Everyone expects him to be perfect and throws sexist daggers and fear mongering words at him. Don't worry, Matt, I have a shield. I will send it to you.

And we all know by now that the American Olympians who cried wolf are going down like the Titanic. I have no words. Just disgust. The fools.

The election is coming! The election is coming! And wouldn't you know it...Gary Johnson is now under the gun for his blank stare-deer in the headlights response about Aleppo. Did you really think any candidate would be free from scrutiny? Say it isn't so.

Parting Words

Oh, fooled you. I am not leaving permanently. Just for the day.

You can't get that lucky. But then again...it's you who keeps coming back here.

It's Friday. Ahhhh. The weekend.

Be safe. Be alert. Stay vigilant.

And don't let me catch you on Youtube acting like a drunk uncle.

Go Kanoodle Yourself

It appears I am super lax in keeping up appearances and blog posts around here. Certainly, you have missed my funny. Or not. You're welcome.

Some observations of late:

1. Students reacted very badly to a lock down due to a "supposed armed person" seen on campus. The whole place might as well have gone up in smoke. Students had no coping skills and when interviewed by the campus paper, they hid under their beds and peed their pants. I shit you not. Pun intended. Read it here.  The next day, NO ONE and I mean NO ONE wore pink. There was a color ban.

2. The FBI is here investigating city corruption. It's just like the 1920's and our own Bugsy Malone is in charge of the city government. Exciting, eh? I find it entertaining. I now know where all the money to repair Indiana roads has gone.

3. I am managing to find, somewhat, my groove in grad school. Today, however, I turned in a paper with an indention problem in one paragraph. Fuck. Me. In. The. Ass. I want to get dinged for major problems not stupid mistakes. Gah!

4. A new Indiana word I learned-ded: kanoodling-gross or raunchy sex. Here I thought it was about fishing. I'm so confused. Oh well. The language of Yankees is so complex.

5. Working out has come to a crossroads. I am losing inches and getting my abs defined. My dang arms are still wacko. Hate 'em. I work them every week and do other things and they are still lunch lady arms. I want ripped biceps again and my triceps to go away. Ack!

6. There is still no world peace. The election is coming and in my head I feel like I should be shouting it like Chicken Little. The election is coming! The election is coming! May God be with us all. Amen.

7. I received a letter yesterday from President Obama encouraging me to vote for Hillary and please save our country. I promptly threw it in the trash after contemplating how many US dollars it took to mail that nice packet to every household. SMH.

Be safe. Be alert. Be vigilant.

The Grey Man-Partners

It is no secret the man behind this series, J.L. Curtis is adorable and brilliant. In fact, I am pretty sure he has a Mensa card. I know what kind of car he drives and he definitely has a love for the west. Rightfully so. The west is awesome and a most desirable place.

So...speaking of awesome and desirable...so is being face first in his books. The Grey Man series is fresh and exciting with action, thrills, and good old-fashioned rugged cop stuff. And it is on the right side of the law. The bad guys get squashed...most of the time. Sometimes they are elusive and come back for revenge. 

Straight off of Amazon...here is a snip it from The Grey Man-Partners... "Texas Deputy Sheriff John Cronin and his granddaughter Jesse Miller have out-stubborned, out-fought, and out-lived every challenge life's thrown at them so far... But there are times when a little help is needed. 

Slowly recovering from being stabbed, John Cronin gets a tip from inside the very cartel that's hunted him, that plans are afoot to smuggle terrorists and missiles across the border. Meanwhile, Jesse and her husband Gunny Sgt. Miller are losing the battle with an administration and a military bureaucracy determined downsize the military by whatever means possible, and tie their hands regardless of the damage and danger to its own. 

The agencies responsible don't want to act if Cronin won't give up his confidential informant, but when word comes that the missiles and terrorists are landing, it's time to put a team together and handle things the old fashioned way..."

My review was a little snarky because Jim knows me and how to take my information..."The saga continues and doesn't lack thrills, suspense, and action. Partners includes more depth of the characters in real life as they muscle through some life changes along with the dangerous moments. You can't go wrong with any of the Grey Man series, but each one gets better and Partners goes deep into character development. One drawback...I think it is time for the sheriff to have a love interest...even if it is flippant or unrequited. Some woman needs to stir it up."

Here's the difference: Partners gets deep and more developed into the details of each character which is natural when you get to know someone. Now that we are attached...I think he best be working on number 5. 

Check out Curtis's masterpieces on Amazon. You won't be disappointed.