Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Self Discovery

So some friends have told me that the reason I have a black cloud around me and/or attract the most horrendous characters could be one of many things:

(1) Some say you attract what you are. Stop the bus. I am not evil. Friends counteracted with the fact that is in fact true. Fargo is not evil, but I worked in law enforcement with evil suspects for years. Apparently, they feel I have bad energy attached to me from these days.

Well, fuck you, evil cloud.

I reject that theory. I do not believe that what happens in life to me is luck, supernatural, or malevolent. It doesn't mean I don't believe in that stuff. I am just not applying it to my circumstances.

(2) Some say I am a fixer and so my personality cannot help glob onto someone or something that needs to be fixed. No. I can't fix anything. I usually have to call someone to do that.


(3) I am predestined to be a martyr.

Fuck me in the ass. I reject this notion as well. I will not die, I am invincible! To the tower!

(4) Bad luck.

I'm not sure I believe in luck.

You're fired!

(5) Some experts call this a syndrome in a person's mind called, "external locus of control." It is a fatalism where people start believing they can do nothing to change their lives.

Well, hell! We all know I do not have this disease. Your locus of control isn't passed down genetically from generation to generation. Is it learned? If it doesn't work for us, can't we change it? I know this theory is false, so I super reject this idea! Next!

(6) So I went to the experts. GOOGLE. I googled my problems. I found this: "Remember whatever you pay attention to grows in your mind." (Lifehack)

Fuck me in the ass! 

All I pay attention to is serial killer shows and studying bad guys. 


Now I know what is wrong with me. 

To remedy this, I have started to watch reruns of Mr. Rogers and I am currently reading How To Build Grass Huts

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Fairy Farts and Vampire Slayers

My friends are trying to figure out why an entire tribe of weirdos are globbing on to me lately which have resulted in some strange encounters of the 5th Kind. They think I need to be saged. I can't say I disagree with them. Right now I am slathered in garlic, fairy dust, and crosses to deflect evil and crazy. I am not sure it is working.

Friday was a trying day of different sorts as I was called back to the Ta-Ta doctor for an additional mammogram and ultrasound. So they showed me the problem which was a huge mass in my left side. Immediately I felt sick to my stomach and tried to fight back tears. What a pussy. I don't know why it hit me hard. I was there for four hours. After talking to the doctor they determined I had hundreds of cysts on my left side which were all benign. None on my right. This was true evidence that I have been abducted by aliens since one side was perfectly healthy. My right elbow is bad. My left elbow is perfect. My neck is broken and my lungs are only 80%. My left rotator cuff is shot and my right is perfect. And my butt is too big.

Oh, yes, we can blame it all on aliens.

In the end, the Ta-Tas are OK, but I have been instructed to cut down on coffee consumption. You may as well have told me to cut my fingers off or put me in a guillotine. Really. It's that bad. "Try  cutting back to 2 cups a day first, " he said. WHAT?!?

That's like telling a crack addict to snort soap.

Say some prayers for me. The vampires are working against me. Those blood suckers.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

The Patch

Well, we all survived the second debate debacle. I think. My ears might still be ringing. 

I only remember one line and it was a doozy...

Otherwise, it was all interruptions and distractions and avoidance of any real issues. I shut it off and watched Hannibal. 

Have you seen that series? It's old. And I missed it when it was new, so it is new to me. It is right in line with the books for the most part, so I am pleased as punch. 

Oh..I am sure it will damage me forever. So gruesome and detailed and creepy and predictable and surprising and gross and fun and dangerous and well...you get the picture. The actor who plays the younger Hannibal Lecter is brilliant. 

I have to give a shout out to The Russian Bear for sending me this cute thing: 
shit magnet patch
It is a shit magnet patch. I wear it with pride! (Well, on my backpack) It works! You probably read my last posts of craziness but now the shit still rolls my way. How do I make it stop? For example...

In other news, I am without trainer. I have cut all ties with Obi and that went down like a ball of flames. I am mourning the loss of a friend. He is not dead. He just isn't who I thought he was and so I have lost a person I called friend and laughed with and what not. He also helped me on the house. So...even though we all have skeletons, I can't live with his bones in the closet. He is not happy about all this, but I have brushed past the emptiness. I have to thank him for some things he did for me in boosting my confidence and helping me get close to my goals. He was a good trainer. Harsh at it may seem, there is a time to cut bait. 

I have a wonderful hippy dippy trippy friend who is HUGE into astrology and readings and psychics (only valid ones she says and not the kookoo birds). She blesses me with these little messages from time to time. She seems to be thinking of me when eruptions happen or really good fortune will come my way. Usually when she is going to forewarn me about something explosive, it is already too late. So...my hippy dippy friend posted this on her Facebook page for me and sent me a personal IM:

Astrology for this week: Now leading up to this Full Super Moon in Aries! Action packed with this "Hunters Moon". Very powerful energy playing out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Some of you have found that you were wrong about something when you were so SURE at the time you were right. This does not matter either way and does not serve you to worry over it, or to look back at it or to dwell upon it. You have realized a lot of the actions and even disruptions from others. Believing in someone that proved to be false, or a detriment to you or your life, this was part of your growth and souls journey in this lifetime. But there are many other tasks and lessons before you. Trust yourself and the ingrained knowledge and intuition inside of you to lead you onto better paths and new and enlightening experiences. Distance yourself from those who cause you confusion, disruption and pain. You cannot change them, only they can change through their own realizations and free will, not from anything you can say or do. They have their own path to follow and their own lessons to learn. Sometimes things that hurt you the most, teach you the greatest lessons of life. You'll need to look at your life from a different perspective. Today's energy is all about letting go so you can let in the divine. 

And strangely enough, I have talked to God a lot more in the last two weeks, attended some church, and prayed.  We have a new minister and he is great. It's not like I ever ignored God, but there are times I let things overshadow my faith and I just muddle through life.  My Momster ways take over the turmoil of my daughter's teens and I get wrapped up in studying, driving forward, working out, and fixing what I can. I don't know if that makes any sense.  It sounded good at the time it was formulated in my head. 

Life is never too short or quick or too busy for God. I should know that by now. People come into our lives for a reason or we are there in theirs for the same. God puts us there. 

Sometimes, I think he just needs to plop me in front of the wine and bread and leave me there for days...without people. Just a thought. 

Thursday, October 6, 2016

As The World Crumbles

As The World Crumbles. A fitting title of sorts. Do I think this universe is made of doom and gloom? No. It sure has its fair share of crap, though. I mean, if Kim Kardashian gets robbed, geesh. What is this world coming to? 

I have now moved on to be on my own two feet and free of a personal trainer for now. So what do I do? I am 15 pounds from my goal, although Obi said I didn't need to lose any weight. I feel I do. 

Almost there!

And to answer my own question: I have been running, doing kettle bell squats, ball slams, working my arms with the weights and medicine balls I have at home, and doing some box work on my Roque step box. I was tempted to get on Beachbody On Demand and do some Hammer and Chisel and then that idea fizzled. My motivation has really been in the running area because I can think and listen to music and tune out the world. 

All my problems go away.

I really feel I should have been a boxer in earlier life and I missed my calling. I love to hit my bag and I think I would even like to hit a person better. Is that sick? Not sure. I'm sure someone will tell me it shows I have psychological problems or my neurons are misfiring. 

I don't feel that overburdened with problems as I did last week, so at least that nonsense in my head is dissipating. Life is settling back down to a slow normal again. 

I finished the new Longmire season in record time over the weekend it came out and now I await The Walking Dead, although, I have been disappointed with its direction. Hopefully, the new season has some shock and awe. Why? Because, by golly, we as fans need stimulation. Not of the genital type, either. Of the cerebral kind. Although both are nice. 

Speaking of dicks...just when we get Pence to make Trump look good...he goes and says something utterly dumb and ridiculous. I mean...the pronunciation of Nevada? What a dink. Everyone on the west side knows it is pronounced Nuh-vad-ah. Not: Nah-vah-dah. Did he really think Nevadians (that is a word) were going to expect a New Yorker to get it right? And how many times has The Donald been there? Hello? And doesn't he own property there? Stupid, stupid, stupid. He just needs some Gorilla duct tape and a glass of shut the fuck up. 

This election, I tell you. They are all fucking idiots. I might have to pick an idiot over evil, however.  I can't get enough Calgon.  Let me explain things in memes:

This: And I am allergic to Vodka.

I need to be here. Like NOW.

And now...go have a nice day.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Magic Questions and a Debate-acle?

Yo yo yo!

Two would be a toy, and three is a Tommy hello.

Did you watch the VP debate? I actually was entertained. It was worth watching to me and I felt that Pence was outstanding which is surprising because I think he is articulate, but not always a fan of his Indiana decisions. He was prepared and really commanded the chatter, I thought. I still do not like any of the interruptions. Gah. What did you think? Who do you think won? Was there a winner?

The drama is over thus far for the evil that lurks out there. I am sure it will raise its ugly head again. Until then, I am going to slip back into some type of normalcy. My research project is proving to be quite interesting and I can't wait to work on it. I might be sick. Maybe I should check in to the health clinic. Hmm...

A big question out there floating The Net which comes up once in a while... is if it is appropriate for an officer to also be a model bordering on risque? Hmm. I don't judge women cops. Oh hell, yes I do.

I guess I don't know exactly how I feel about this except I can see problems arising with public awareness and also image issues with the department. Now...would I like to be that fit...oh yes sirree.

Some agencies might even have policies against it. I saw this over on Breach-Bang-Clear and thought I would throw it out there...

Photo credit: Breach-Bang-Clear

What do you think? Does it change your perspective or matter not? Oh, and if you like her, follow her on Pinterest, Instagram, or wherever...Jennifer Dawn. She is out of Texas.

In other news, my life has reached a bland diet of child, school, house stuff. I am just being a student. Not a great one, but a good one so far. Lots of work.

Bug is doing well in school and is almost done with the volleyball season.

It's average to middlin' around the Harry Potter House as we get ready for fall.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

In The Face of Evil

My hippy friend told me that a psychic once told her that 70% of the people walking on earth have a deep dark side or are evil. If this is in fact, true, I have succeeded in meeting all 70%. It just attracts me.

Right now you are probably wondering why I have disappeared off the face of the earth. Where is Fargo? Why is she so quiet? School? Partly. I am channeling my inner turtle. I feel like a penis does when you put an ice cube on it mostly. At least that is what I imagine it would do because of physics. I have never seen one. A penis, I mean. I have seen lots of ice cubes.

I'm just inundated with other outside issues. The darkness sure follows me. In fact, I am such a shit magnet that I can't clean it off completely. I never get the dry easy to clean up kind. I get the sickly stankly and very sticky runny kind that strips paint off the wall.

For instance, what do you do when a person asks for your help? You go. Did I think I was going to be helping a woman dive into a child pornography and human trafficking world? Uh. No. I thought I was going to help her  confirm her thoughts of several affairs from her significant other. Aliases, false passports, Asian prostitutes, child porn, and human trafficking. Fuck me in the ass. And writing these words will probably attract the feds to my door.

It brought all that heavy burdensome thoughts back. But what did I do? I helped her and I let her and this other women make the decision to go to the cops. I washed my hands after I gave my expert opinion and told them they could give the cops my information. But they keep contacting me about stuff and questions and I am like...dudes...I just want to study about cop burnout and public administration for Pete's sake. I am in the middle of a research project.

As for the cop work, the empathy, the burdens...I left all that behind. I am on to a new part of my life and it brought it all back for an instant. What's worse? I know these people and it sucks. On the back note, I did enjoy the hunt and the puzzles and searching for evidence and then I was like...DONE! There you go! Go forth and do! And I never want to see any of you again because...gah! I don't need that. No wonder people run away when they discover the evil in people they know. Gah! ack!

Yeah. It was worthy of a Stephen King movie. I have looked evil in the face many times. And this is it. Yes, I traveled miles packing heat for my protection to get involved in that fiasco. That was the fun part...driving fast, packing heat, avoiding PoPo detection.

That wasn't all. There were other personal issues arising with my lackluster love life that just wore me out. They were shocking as well but by then I was pretty over everything and washed my hands of getting too upset. It all came to a head and ended very sadly.

Men just don't realize I am a gift.

So here I am. Still single. Not giving a shit about things like that and moving forward with my goals and grad school and trying to be the best Momster I can be. Sounds fascinating right? Yep.

And tonight I have to write a huge paper and study on a pot of coffee, probably staying up  until 0300. But...such is life.

Peace out.

Tomorrow is another day.