Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Summer Pool, Schweaty Balls, and Other Flavors

Captain's Log:


Current status: Frazzled from Grad School Meteor Shower

Navigational readings: Dazed and confused

Ship's course: Steadfast ahead

I think Oliver is feeling the effects as well.

So, meanwhile, I will be starting another research project, working on a final exam essay response paper, a group project, and discussion boards. Is there enough Advil and wine in this world? Just kidding. I don't write my papers under the influence.

However...here is a blast from the past about the first time bath salts started to float our way into Gotham City...

Interesting topics always pop up in briefing. For instance...we all discussed the latest craze that started with teenagers experimenting. 

And where they come up with this stuff is beyond me...but yet another product on the market that we will probably end up regulating. 

Can't anyone just use the products the way they were made and intended?

LT. KANOOK: Everyone knows of the newest thing where they are smoking the bath salts?

OFFICER BIG CHEESE: Yeah. Everyone should know they are smoking these bath salts, hallucinate like LSD, then do something crazy..usually driving into a house or something.

ME: So...I bet we can guess what the best flavor is for the biggest high.

OFFICER SAVVY: Cucumber melon?

OFFICER SHINY KEYS: I'm liking musk...no wait....sandalwood.

ME: Jasmine moonlight

CAPTAIN: Ocean breeze.

ME: Yeah. Ocean breeze has to give you the biggest high. It sounds like its from California.


THE ENGLISH: Bacon. Bacon flavor.

ME: Would that be a pun on cops? I think bacon flavor would totally be ironic.  What about Schweaty Balls? 


ME: What about "Boob Schweat"? "Dirty Money?"

OFFICER SHINY KEYS: Hey, Big Cheese, does it show up what flavor on the test? [laughs]

OFFICER SAVVY: Yeah...what color is their tongue...does that show what flavor?

ME: I wonder if we can tell if it is "Wet Dog" or "Sorority House Rose" or "Yankee My Wankee" or "Blueberry Bromance" and stuff. 

[laughs from the team]

BIG CHEESE: You guys are so funny. This is serious stuff.

LT. KANOOK: No seriously. It's like an epidemic with kids now. You guys need to be aware of this and take it very seriously. Call Big Cheese if you need some assistance. He was informed on the last conference and we have been seeing a lot of here already. 

ME: Yeah. Make them breathe on you so you know if you are dealing with quality brands or generic flavors. It could make a difference in their highs. 


OFFICER SHINY KEYS: "Oh, yeah, officer...I forgot to tell you my dealer's name is Bed, Bath, and Beyond."

Yes, we amuse ourselves. 


Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
---That is one FULL plate you got there.
BTW, I prefer ALEVE to ADVIL...lol.
---I feel for Ollie.
---Hell, when we were young we had CHEMISTRY SETS...never lost a house (yet),,
---Bath salts aka "spice" aka CRAP for your brain aka STUPID FOOD.
---Always gotta love the "verbal interaction" between LEOS...never gets old and always funny as hell.

Good post.

Stay safe down there, Kiddo.

Mad Jack said...

Switch to gin.

Curiosity question 76: Are all the people in the discussion group from the same, or similar, social strata?

bill lisleman said...

Some of those abusers probably needed a bath too.
I think it's the potentially deadly combination of limited thinking/knowledge and peer pressure. The peer pressure is very common so I figure I was lucky to have some thinking ability. You need to be able to think past the next weekend.

Old NFO said...

Bill is probably correct... Having heard the stories from my grandson about the peer pressure, kids today are few and far between that will actually stand up to it.

Sylvia Plathypus said...

So glad to see that your blog escaped the apparent serial killing of all the great blogs I read back when I was a regular around this place! Reading about the antics your department encounters (and the ones it enjoys getting up to) makes my day! :)