Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Visualize the Meaning of Dickhead

Intermission time. That bad leadership stuff gave me a headache. Time to move on to some real cop stuff. Here's a flashback from the days of The ROOK...

As I get older, I find my patience wears thinner. Is that good English?  Sounded a little redneck. Anycrazy, people have started to grate on my nerves. Perhaps it's because I have only dealt with stupid. At least...lately. However, when people drive you insane to the point you pipe up and words slip out accidentally on purpose...pick your prey. Wisely. I usually pick the big hairy ones who could use me to mop up the floor.

Saturday night and early this morning was filled with drunks. Not only was every deputy on a DUI, but we, the city cops, were loaded with our plethora of drunks.

Most of the night, THE ROOK and I were on special operations trying to find a state prison escapee and tracking a gang involved in stolen guns and dope. THE ROOK got his fair share of "undercover" operations. We were successful in conducting a felony stop with the ring leader with the stolen gun case. The prison escapee...not so much.

Late into the night or early in the morning...it all blends...we had a call for assistance from Officer Old timer who ran into some belligerent drunks outside our favorite biker bar. THE ROOK and I assisted. Reaching our destination, I jumped out while THE ROOK was driving to intercept the large biker who was meandering toward a Jeep in the alley behind the bar. Surely he was going to drive away and be a lethal weapon on the roadway, I made contact.

He was none too happy to see the PoPo...even my shining little face.

ME: Evening. You weren't planning on driving tonight, were you?

BIG RAY: Nope.

ME: Where are you headed?

BIG RAY: Up the road.

ME: So..what happened inside the bar? The ruckus?

BIG RAY: I don't give a shit. Their problem.

ME: Seems it involves you.

BIG RAY: Not talkin'.

ME: How much have you had to drink tonight?

BIG RAY: Enough.

ME: You got a ride home?

BIG RAY: [silence]

ME: You can talk to me or not. Don't really care. You don't have a ride, I'll give  you one...to the big Biker Bed and Breakfast on the hill. Your choice.

BIG RAY: Yeah. You fucking cops. It's never our choice. Fuck you. [He stumbled into the building and tried to walk away.] I have a ride.

THE ROOK: Hey, you can't walk around the city or down the sidewalk drunk. City ordinance. She asked you if you had a ride home.

BIG RAY:[Came back to us and spit near our shoes]Alright. I will wait here.

ME: Quit spitting.

BIG RAY: [smirk] Make me. Fuck that. Stupid cop.

ME: It's against the law, too...and gross. So...got money for a cab? We're trying to work with you, but our patience is running thin.

BIG RAY: Not paying for a cab. I don't have to. Came to the bar to get drunk. Going home. That's the way it is. Cops suck. Why don't you go find some real crime?

ME: We did that already. Now we are bored. That's why you are entertaining us.

BIG RAY: [smirk and spit again near my boot] There's another violation, lady. Maybe I'll hit your boot. What do you think of that? Huh? What do you think?

ME: Actually,  I think you are a fucking dickhead.

THE ROOK: *blink*blink*


So...we ended up taking Big Ray to jail without a struggle. He didn't care. He did, however, try to intimidate me all the way up the hill and inside the detention center. It was packed. Full house in the book-in area.

BIG RAY: Honey. [ blew me kisses] I'm gonna get you. You wait.

ME: Yep. Bring it, sister. Big man threatening a girl. You must be the pussy of the group.

BIG RAY: You'll see.

ME: Ok. I see. I visualize you as the lead pussy of your biker club. Yep. 

THE ROOK: [hits me in the arm]

ME: What?

We met up with Officer Fitness inside the deputies book in office after they put Big Ray in his cell. The cells have one small window for them to look out and us to look in.

I had my back to Big Ray, but I knew what he was doing. He was 6-3, 275, solid muscles, black hair, scruffy face, tats all over. He had black eyes that appeared hollow and evil. We had to use two sets of cuffs which barely went around his wrists. Visualize all that as a pussy. Why? Because he picks on girl cops.
At this moment, I am a girl warrior
 on the planet Zentora.

OFFICER FITNESS: He's creeping me out.

ME: Big Ray?

OFFICER FITNESS: Yes. The way he is staring at you. It's creepy. Like he wants to kill you.

ME: Probably does. Him don't like me much.

OFFICER FITNESS: I'm serious. I don't get creeped out. That is sinister.

THE ROOK: 5-foot nothin'. 100 pounds nothin'. She thinks she is tall and bulletproof. Why did you call him a dickhead?

OFFICER FITNESS: You called him a dickhead?

ME: Yep.

OFFICER FITNESS: Why did you do that?

ME: I cannot tell a lie.

THE ROOK: *blink*blink*

We walked out of the book-in area toward the sally port. As I left, I turned to Big Ray who was still standing at his window, smirking at me:

ME: [blew him kisses] Love you. Miss you.

THE ROOK: You are going to get your ass kicked one day from him. He hates you.

ME: Nah. He won't intimidate me. Dickheads. They are all the same. Wear their penis on their head. 

THE ROOK: * blink*blink*

ME: It's mostly small. Most of them are small. That I have seen. On duty. When they wear them on their head. It's true. 

THE ROOK: *blink*blink*

ME: It makes sense to a girl.


Old NFO said...

Yep, truly NO filter there girl! :-) And I don't think Ray would have been stupid enough to try you, either!

Suz said...

It's just like anger. If you don't let them push your buttons, you don't get angry. If you don't let them intimidate you, just give it right back, they respect you...sorta, some of them. But, they at least will walk around you. And usually, I can get them to do what I or the doctor wants.

Sometimes no filter works cause it just rocks them right back on their heels. All 5'3 of me.

And it is ALWAYS the big, 6'+ ones that try it. I am the shortest one in my family, tall doesn't scare me.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Always enjoy those "Rook" tales...
Big Ray. I think you described him as well as could be.
And people wonder WHY the LEOs are wary whenever they answer a "typical" call.
These days, there ARE no typical calls, but puh-lenty of animosity for those behind the shield (and the shield itself).
That's just the way we've allowed society to "evolve", such as it has.
Great story. You done GOOD.

Roll safe down there, Kiddo.