Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...







Thursday, June 15, 2017

The Narc Ark

Here are some not so pretty memories. I wrote them all down even if I wasn't always in my finest moments. Sometimes, I was downright disgraceful. Like these moments when I was going through my divorce and trying to run a business and go to work and be a mom and run a place all by myself. I came to realize after months of trying, that I could not do it anymore.

I reported to my FTO sergeant that I was having problems staying awake as the passenger while training. When I drive, I am fine. When I ride...it's like rocking a baby to sleep. Especially...if we have a lull in crime. SQUIRREL and THE ROOK have been good about it and try to help me stay awake. Despite business checks, training exercises, and traffic stops...there are seconds in between where I just collapse.  I even told Sarg I might have narcolepsy.  Self diagnosed.

My new uniform sleeping chamber

THE ROOK: You were funny. You can sleep and still carry on a conversation.

ME: Awesome. I am so proud of myself.

THE ROOK: When I was typing my report, I asked  you if you spoke to that woman on the last call. You said, "Yeah. I spoke to the woman at the counter. I got her statement."

ME: Nice.

THE ROOK: Except we never were at a counter. We were outside in the yard.

ME: Thank God.

THE ROOK: What?

ME: I didn't remember being at a counter and if I told you I talked to a woman at the counter, I didn't remember a thing. I was starting to get very concerned about my sleep problem. Like I was sleeping while out there with citizens. Yikes.

THE ROOK: [giggling] You were sleeping and dreaming. In the Tahoe. And talking. Funny.

ME: *blink*blink*

THE ROOK: It's OK. I got your back.

ME: Yeah. But I don't have yours. I am getting pissed. I think it's the vehicle. The Narc Ark.

THE ROOK: What?

ME: Narcolepsy vehicle. The Narc Ark.

THE ROOK: *blink*blink*

*********************************
I feel like Carl

THE ROOK: [hits me] Hey. We have a prowler call.

ME: Ok.

THE ROOK: I tried waking you up by going to 60 mph and then braking. You didn't even wake up.

ME: Super. Beat me.

THE ROOK: I tried that too.

ME: No, I meant this is killing me. I hate feeling like this. I hate falling asleep. It's to the point I need to drive and that isn't going to do you any good for training. Sleep or no sleep at home. It doesn't make a difference. It's the passenger in the car thing. And boredom. We have had eerily quiet nights.

THE ROOK: It's OK. I just think I'm Morgan Freeman driving Miss Daisy.

ME: You're white.

THE ROOK: Yeah. It's pretend.

ME: Nice.

*******************************************
Singing in my sleep

THE ROOK: You know what?

ME: What?

THE ROOK: I was watching you sleep while I wrote my report. You were reading that training manual and you fell asleep.

ME: Ugh. I am getting so mad at myself.

THE ROOK: You are so cute when you sleep.

ME: *head*dashboard*

******************************************


THE ROOK: Look at you! Rockin' the pony tail today. I have never seen you with a pony tail. Only the high and tight up do.

ME: Dude, are you the fashion police?

THE ROOK: [Big cheesy smile] Nope. Just wondering if that will help you stay awake.

ME: *blink *blink* You are beating me at my own game. Now I know I am losing my powers.

THE ROOK: What powers?

ME: The force. It's not with me anymore.
Are we there yet?


THE ROOK: What?

ME: Oh, sorry. Forgot that show was before your time.

THE ROOK: Are we talking Harry Potter?

ME: *blink*blink*

2 comments:

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
The convos between you and THE ROOK are some of the best I've heard.
I want to think you beat that narcolepsy thing...
Me? I'm still working on that 10 year sleep deprivation funk...lol.
(figure after I croak THEN I can REALLY catch the hell up...heh)

Good post.

Roll safe (and awake while driving) down there, Kiddo.

Old NFO said...

Heh, we've ALL been there if you're in certain professions... Just sayin...