We just so happen to run into quite a few good kids who maybe just needed a little guidance. Basically, you know you have good kids in front of you when they shit their pants because the cops pulled them over. It's a clue. If they fear the cops in a respectful manner, they are mostly good.
Officer Squirrel and I were on special assignment during the night. We worked hard and tried to find DUIs, traffic violations, suspicious persons walking. Basically, anyone out in our sight was meat. These would be prime training opportunities. FTO 101.
About 11:00 p.m., a red car caught our attention. Not because of a traffic violation...because they were clearly hauling around stolen property...
|Actual captured photo of suspect car. Photo credit: Fargo|
OFFICER SQUIRREL: Do you two know why we pulled you over?
BOHEMIAN JOHN: Yes, sir. [nodding his head]
OFFICER SQUIRREL: Not only did you steal a traffic pylon, but you duct taped it to your windshield. It's kind of obvious you were going to get caught. And what about the "shoo police" on your back window?
BOHEMIAN JOHN: The part that says...Magical Unicorn Ride?
OFFICER SQUIRREL: Yes. You do realize it looks like you have a you know what taped to your windshield.
BOHEMIAN MATT: Yes, sir. We thought it was funny.
OFFICER SQUIRREL: Yeah.
ME: It sounded like a great idea at the time, right?
BOHEMIAN JOHN: We were just talking about that when we were pulling over for you, Ma'am.
So...we ran the little buggers and they didn't have a criminal record and were just freshmen in college. We threw the hammer down on them and made them drive 3 miles back to where they stole the cone and put it back, had a little lecture, and a little Fargo one on one time.
ME: Thanks, boys. Hope you make some better choices. You can be funny, but don't steal, even if it's seems like a little thing.
BOHEMIAN MATT: Thanks so much, Ma'am.
ME: Remember one thing.
BOHEMIAN JOHN: Yes, Ma'am. What is that?
ME: You don't have to have a traffic cone taped to your windshield to look like a couple of dickheads.
BOHEMIAN JOHN/MATT: [simultaneously] Yes, Ma'am. Thanks again.
With that last profound statement, we sent them on their way. I have to admit while I was driving down the road, I was laughing so hard the tears were flying. It was that contagiously chronic laughter. We both couldn't stop...probably because we used to do those dumb things, too.