Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Snark and Circumstance

Well...what day is it? It's hump day.

Even babies can read my mind

Let's look at it like they do in the south. Where in the south? Straight to hell. That is how far south we will go...(for example to clarify)...

  1. Go humping if you so choose with a willing partner.
  2. Hump to your heart is content f your significant other designates so on the calendar. 
  3. When you exercise hump day, make sure you have permission. 
  4. You can go hump yourself.

Or it might be bump day if you are Matt Lauer. Holy shit buckets. Maybe they can make the Matt and Charlie Show or Lauer and Handsy.

Not Really. I think they should leave television and go make inventions for people with arthritis. Dinosaurs would even use them. They can call them:

The Handsy Rose and Lauer the Grabber.
Not really. Don't be a tool. It's not really cool to make fun of serious things. Too soon! Too soon!

Do you ever think it is ground hog day? Not Feb. 2nd, but the movie. History repeats itself. The days are repeating themselves. I'm getting a little scared. So, let's go back in time to 2009 in order to clarify what is happening today in my college classes. I must also preface that this call in 2009 occurred over and over and over but with different people throughout my cop career.

WTF just happened

So, I picked up this girl on a warrant. Stuck her in the g-ride and drove diligently to the jail.

She had a mouthpiece...you know, the kind that her mother would not approve. She was very disrespectful and cussing the entire time. Not that I have a perfect mouth, but I try to use discretion when those words slip out. Love these types. Please, Lord, give me some duct tape and make it legal to use it!

Well, I listened to it. Why? Because I had to and I could not transport her in the trunk. So, to soften the blows, I turned my music up a little. You know my music. It's a little...well..."rappy."

Yeah, as you would guess, that didn't make her happy. You know what she did? Yep, she did...she said, "Oh, bad ass bitch cop gonna drown me out with her music. I see how you are..." On and on. She didn't tell me that only once, but twice, thrice, quatro, cinco...on and on.

As we approached our landing, almost to the jail, she stops and says, "I'm majoring in criminal justice. I'm going to sue you! You didn't read me my rights."

Most often statements like these are followed by the famous Fargo eye roll, but she couldn't see it when I was in front of her as her pilot. Who would want to waste that valiant effort on that empty soul?

I calmly stated, "Miss, I don't have to read you your rights unless I am going to ask you questions. Maybe you should read Miranda v. Arizona and other case law. See, you are arrested on a small bench warrant...really nothing I'm interested in because I concentrate on catching real criminals, not wannabes. But here you are in my patrol car. Had to arrest you because of a warrant. Nope. Don't have to read you your rights...and the Judge says I have to arrest you. Because if the Judge didn't make me, I would toss you right out. Why? Because you are annoying. However, if you want to exercise your rights, I would suggest you pay attention to your right to be silent."

Well, that shut her up believe it or not. Oh, yeah, old and wise beats young and hostile...every time.

Either this day keeps repeating itself or I am getting paybacks from being so snarky on duty. I think she followed me to grad school and sits next to me in a policy class. Karma. She is such a bitch!


Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
---LOL on the memes!
---As to Ground Hog Day?
Yeah, feels like it EVERY day (and that's why I actively TRY to avoid the news whenever possible.
---Lauer and now Garrison Keillor, too!
(thank God they can't touch dead people...but I hear the finger-pointers ARE trying).
---Love that story about the "mouthpiece".
A "CJ" major? Sure didn't seem like it (very poor example).

Good post.

Roll safe down there, Kiddo.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Met a few criminal justice majors. Wondered if they were trying to get an employment position or avoid an incarceration position.

Old NFO said...

LOL, you were truly having one of those days, weren't you? And I hate the 'yappers'... They tend to not actually know what they are talking about in the first place!

bill lisleman said...

too soon for comedy on serious subjects - yeah that is a tough line to draw but alcohol makes it easier to draw.
Great explanation on the subject's rights.
On this rights subject, just wondering, recently I listened to a public radio program that was describing bounty hunting. Don't recall which program but they said that bounty hunters don't need a warrant to go into the suspect's home. I thought that was a loophole or something. Any knowledge on that?

VEG said...

Hahaha, I remember this story! So is it really her at your grad school, did you figure it out? I MUST KNOW. Because your life is all about entertaining me.

Momma Fargo said...

Haha. No but her twin. Scary huh?

Momma Fargo said...

Hi, Bill. Bounty hunters are not law enforcement and usually have the offenders sign a contract granting them consent. However, it is dangerous practice.