Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Getting Rid of Stalkers...Run More!

Call 911...oh, wait, I am 911. I have a stalker. I've known for quite sometime...afterall, I am the fuzz. Sometimes, I'll be walking and feel someone behind me. I turn, I look...no one there. Getting followed is really an uneasy feeling, especially when you don't really know who it is, what they want, or why...until today...I caught the bastard.

There I was...just working out...enjoying the sweat, thinking I am not going to be a Fitness Failure. The test will be a breeze. I am feeling good. Then...the hair stands on the back of my neck. I get all creeped out. Hinked up. That's what we call...a clue. At first, I didn't realize I knew the person. It was while I was running....and when I saw who it was...I ran faster!

I was panting, no one would help me, I couldn't go any further! What is wrong with people? Running farther and faster didn't help...the bastard was still on my ass...oh, wait...it was my big fat ass! Ha!

I'll get rid of 'em....just watch me...for now, I'm killing 'em slowly...

Tribute To Tradition #3

Monday, February 15, 2010

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I have a presentation coming up on decomposition and clandestine graves. I'm on a deadline and am supposed to be working on it tonight. However, I believe blueberries have gotten the best of me. As you can tell, this is going into the TMI zone (too much information). Yes, I have a bad case of diarhea. I think I am decomposing from the inside out and I'm gassing out...or something...EEK! Practical exercises have never been one of my needs in understanding the subject I am teaching. Although usually helpful...not in this case.

My daughter is my little assistant.  She asked me why I wasn't working on my presentation and of course, was coaxing me to get into the office to get it done. I told her my problem. She said, "Mommy, have you tried taking some Asslax?" Catching me by surprise...I said, "What?" She replied...again..."Asslax, mommy. My teacher had to take some and he said it stops him from going in his pants. You don't want to go in your pants, do you? You should take some." Goodness...after giggling to myself...I had to tell her I thought she meant ExLax. Kids say the darndest things...she gave me a kiss on the forehead and I think I feel much better...Heck with that Asslax stuff.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Monday, February 8, 2010

My Favorite Version of Pants on the Ground

This is my great nephew...he is a star and absolutely awesome...and incredibly cute. Just had to share his talent! I especially like his theatrics..dance moves... and blue mustache! Go Winston! I think he might have something...at least he's spreading the message worldwide...YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND, YOUR HAT TURNED SIDEWAYS...SHINY BRACELETS ON...Ok, that last line I added...