It's that Monday thing again with Ian. Check him out here. He is funny. And it appears he drank a lot before he married his wonderful wife. You can read about that over there, too. Since last week when he got his FREAK on with everyone...he has lowered the bar of personal a little bit. And become random. But why do men always focus on poo? I don't know. It's a mystery. So here are his questions...and my replies...about shit and other things...
1 - Ever take a shit in the woods?
Hell to the NO! I usually leave it right were I find it...poo...of any kind...if I happen upon it...stays there...and then I run like hell...because it's gross...and I didn't put it there. I once took my little brother into the woods and tried to get him lost... he was a little shit. Does that count? So...I'm confused as to what you are referring to. I answered both ways, I guess. And don't give me any SHIT, either. Especially in paper bags lit on fire on my porch. And another thing...why do people look at their poo? People stare at it and other poo they find along the way, too. Why? If I did take a shit in the woods or perhaps give a shit in the woods...because pooing is giving...I wouldn't tell you...and you couldn't smell it either...because I smell like roses! And I probably buried it. Why? Why are we talking about poo?
2 - If you won $1,000, what's the first thing you would do with it besides give me (Ian) a cut?
I'd cut you alright, Mr. Ian...shank you if you tried to take my money... or...cut you right out of that money. Shoes. Lots of them. No, just kidding. I think I would like to donate it to charity...mine. And then spend it on a spa day or two or three or four... and really nice lunches to go with...just sayin'. Would $1,000 buy a sexy escort for a day to do all that to me?
3 - What's your favorite phrase
Put your big girl panties on and deal with it..OR... Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.
The phrases were so close to meaning the same that I had to include them in the same sentence. HA! Anysaying, I thought I would include one I say a lot (first one) and one I think a lot (the second one).
My actual signature phrase is to say something really off the wall...and then after follow it with...
NOT REALLY. BUT I WANTED TO.
4 - Fill in the blank - the world would be a better place if __HATERS____ left the planet.
How can I pick just one? I could give a whole new universe of answers here.
5 - How do you take your coffee or tea?
Black. Rocket Fuel Black. Like my boots. Only cleaner. Without the street grime, path house sludge, and nastiness of the hood that is stuck to them. On the bottoms anyway. The tops are spit shined. Only today. Because I had a uniform inspection. So...I like my coffee black and shiny...and very, very hot...like Gerard Butler. And in a big mug or coffee approved container, preferably.