I know, Dollface. I can't believe it, either. But he's a man. What do you expect?
ME: Big O. You aren't helping. I'm pissed as hell.
Sweetheart, we are only men. Men we are. It's all we can be. We forget things. Shitdazzle happens. You're beautiful.
ME: How can you forget to pay the bill? For two months? In a row? Can you imagine the smucks when they came into the yard and said...HEY LOOK..WE'RE REPO-ING THE SHERIFF'S GARBAGE DUMPSTER. I mean...the county vehicle is sitting right there in the yard. How EMBARASSING. I only give him one thing. ONE THING to pay. And he forgets. It's like it's my birthday or something. It's a fucking dumpster. He puts garbage in it everday. Probably fantasizes about putting me in it...in a black plastic bag...like all the time. How could you forget to pay the dumpster guys? It's 40 damn dollars a month.
ME: But...Big O...dear...LOVE OF MY LIFE...they repo-ed the dumpster from the guy who's truck says... SHERIFF.. on it. In my yard. The dumpster got repo-ed by the garbage guys. From the police. Who are supposed to pay their bills. How would you like it if I repo-ed your dog dish, your dog food...your nice fluffy wuffy dog bed? Huh? How would you feel? What if Bug and I stopped petting you? Huh? What about that? What if I stopped kissing you on the forehead? It's the same thing. What if I made you make the 30 mile hike to the dump with our garbage? Huh? We could strap it on you like those St. Bernards and their barrel thingys. Are you starting to see the problem? Not to mention the embarassing repo moment?
Ok. Ok. You're right. We should hang our heads in shame. Fuck. We're such white trash. You're beautiful. Darling...could I have some of that wine you are drinking?