Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Broke Butt Mountain

I received a note on my table the other day. It was a note from a close friend...

You leave me sit here all alone. Next to an empty wine glass.  You don't take me out anymore. I collect dust. You bitch.

Signed...your computer

So...I'm back. Stories and awards and thank yous to follow this weekend. Dusting off the laptop now...

While I was away...I was here...Allenspark Lodge

Yes...Bill and Juanita...I stole your pic. Sorry..free advertising?

It was here I was treated like gold by the sweetest, most wonderful couple....Bill and Juanita of Allenspark Lodge. I met Tink and GunDiva as well and we set off for an adventure on horseback. Well...most of us. It was in the great wilderness...snow blowing at mach 7...I had just rescued a baby from a grueling death...and pulled the mother from the frozen creek...OK about 20 feet from the corral...I broke my ass. Not a donkey I was given to ride...but my own ass.

The horse zigged and I zagged...dammit.

After broken pride and broken ass, I got back on Washoe and trucked out into the beautiful country with my newfound friends.

But my ass was still broke. I didn't want to tell anyone...it was a beautiful and very enjoyable ride.

It was later when my gluteous maximus froze up and said...HELL NO. Juanita's suggestion of ginger root and hot tub helped tremendously. I can use the right side today. Left side is still saying...HELL NO.

Anybrokebutt, the trip was marvelous. I can't say enough.

You need to go there. 

The lodge and region are so enchanting...the food is magnificient...and the company is beyond fabulous. Thank you so much, Bill and Juanita! Words cannot describe what a pleasure the few days I spent at your home meant to me. And Bug didn't want to go home.

You helped heal my soul!

And now for the naked pics of my ass...it looks like this...


Allenspark Lodge said...

Yeah, some tough cop you are. I watched you get taken down by a nekkid 8 year old that didn't want to get his feet wet.

Guys- I've read on her blog on several occasions where a perp would tell her she was cute or pretty. This was usually just after she described the individual as senile, insane or just highly mentally impaired, so I didn't know what to expect. SHE IS CUTE! Of course, I can easily be described as senile, insane or highly mentally impaired...

Thanks for stopping in Momma, it was wonderful to meet you!


GunDiva said...

I wish I'd had more time to spend with you - other than when you broke your butt :)

Though my pride's a little sore since you broke my perfect record.

You're one tough cookie, I had no idea you'd broken yourself :)

Mrs Mom said...

Momma, you forgot to mention Allenspark is nothing but A Big Slice Of HEAVEN!!! Dear Husband and I had SO much fun there, and it really did feel like home.

Sorry you broke your butt.... I rode Washoe too, but.. umm.. I cheaterd and tacked him up.

Now, if you can get your hands on some MAX FREEZE from Wally World, and apply it to your tender tushie, it will help. I promise.

Bob G. said...

Momma Fargo:
Sounds like you've got some more followers...fantastic.
Imagine that...a LEO..AND CUTE.

And remember...good butts are never really "broke"...just badly bent the hell up, dinged, dented, chipped, cracked, scraped,or bruised.

Have a safe (and pain-free) weekend!

VandyJ said...

Good to see you were having fun while neglecting your computer. Looking forward to hearing more of your adventures this weekend.

Allenspark Lodge said...

Yes, MF is one hell of a trooper. I'm ashamed to say, I didn't query her too much about being broken; just threw her back on my naughty horse. She was graciously riding bareback (with sheepskin, which didn't help with the launch, since it wasn't fastened on in any way) because we needed Washoe's saddle for Eli and T!nk. This was only his third time on a horse...and Eli is big! Thought he might feel more secure with something 'attached' to the horse. The sheepskin got left behind the second time, and the next two jumps were performed to perfection. In all fairness, I have to say MF was focused on Bug learning to steer Miss Jesse, who calmly stood and watched all the entertainment. I had also failed to warn her about his aversion to that particular water hazard. Wonder Idiot Washoe is now back in water training, and I am very sorry, MF. I promise a better ride next time!

Loved having you here, and Bug is a darling.

Coffeypot said...

Blue becomes you. But if you need some salve rubbed on it, well...okay...I'll do it for ya.

Gald you got away and had a good time. I think you needed it.

Fragrant Liar said...

HAHA. I need a vacay to such a place. Sounds like you had a great time, even if you broke yer butt.

Christy said...

Ha! Who hasn't fallen off a horse? I've been black and blue a couple of times from that. That may be because I started riding as a young child only riding bareback. It's hard to hang on when you aren't very big. Of course I'm very happy you weren't put out of commission completely. And I'm glad you're back!

Anonymous said...

I did not know you broke your ass.. I'm so sorry.. well, you have all week to recover while on the road trip. We have no intention of letting you sit up.. so far, you just open your eyes and point.

It really sounds like you are having fun on our bus tour..

the queen and the Royals.

Jessica said...

Yowza! That's some ass!

God, I wish I had an ass like that. Even if it IS blue and broke.